A Writer's Life

Our Worst Script

I published the post below on this blog in July 2006...and forgot all about what I said I'd do at the end. Now I am following through...

Ken Levine writes today about the worst script he and his partner ever wrote.

In 1993 my writing partner, David Isaacs and I did a short run series for CBS called BIG WAVE DAVE’S starring Adam Arkin and David Morse. It ran that summer, got 19 shares, kept 100% of MURPHY BROWN’S audience and was cancelled. At the time CBS had starring vehicles in the wings for Peter Scolari, Bronson Pinchot, and the always hilarious Faye Dunaway so they didn’t need us.

We were given a production order of six with three back-up scripts. We assigned the first two back-ups to our staff and planned on writing the third ourselves. When the show was cancelled we put in to CBS to get paid for the additional scripts. They said fine, but we had to turn in the completed scripts. Gulp!

Bill Rabkin and I had almost the exact same experience on SEAQUEST. We'd already turned in the outline for  episode 14 when we got canceled. But in order to get paid for the teleplay, we had to write it. We did it in one day, while we were packing up our office. I still live in fear that some sf fan will stumble on a bootleg draft at a scifi convention, post it on the net, and people will think we actually write that bad. I'm in Germany now, or I'd post an excerpt. I'll try to remember to do it when I return.

UPDATE March 8, 2007:  Okay, here's an excerpt from "About Face,"  the script Bill and I wrote in a day to get our script fee. We knew no one would ever read it. All you need to know to follow along is that Piccolo a man with gills and Darwin is a talking dolphin (I'm not kidding).

Why God Invented the Internet Part II

The Archive of American Television has begun posting  on YouTube some of their 500 incredible interviews with the pioneers of television. Interviewees include Fred Silverman, Alan Alda, Sherwood Schwartz, James Arness, Dick Van Dyke, Roy Huggins, Sid Caesar, Quincy Jones, Carroll O'Connor, Bob Carroll & Madelyn Pugh Davis, Andy Griffith, Leslie Moonves, Hershel Burke Gilbert, Everett Greenbaum , Bob Mackie, Leonard Stern, Milton Berle, William Shatner, Carl Reiner and many, many more. The interviews are in-depth -- typically three to six hours long -- and are a master class in television. It's truly a remarkable resource. I won't admit how many hours I've spent today watching the interviews when I should have been working...

"I'm F***ing Matt Damon"

I love this clip. Everybody has seen it, it has three million hits on YouTube, but I couldn't resist posting it anyway.

Law & Order: New & Improved

I used to be a big fan of LAW & ORDER, but over the last five years, the show has been going steadily down-hill (even with the addition of Dennis Farina, who I have liked ever since MANHUNTER and CRIME STORY). The 2006-2007 season was an all-time low. The last thing I expected was to fall back in love with it, especially after this seasons flat premiere. But each episode since then has been dramatic, surprising, compelling...and even funny.
I don't know whether it's the return of Rene Balcer as showrunner/head writer, or the new cast members, or the revamped sets & lighting & camera angles that have re-energized the franchise, but it doesn't really matter.  LAW & ORDER is back and as good as it ever was.

Oddly enough GUNSMOKE, the only show  that's lasted longer than LAW & ORDER, also had a resurgence in quality in it's 17th-19th seasons...though that's not to say LAW & ORDER is on its way out.

(LAW & ORDER may someday match, or beat, GUNSMOKE's 20 year reign....but it's not a fair contest. There's nobody on the cast of L&O today that was on the show it's first season. By comparison, three of the GUNSMOKE's four stars... James Arness, Amanda Blake and Milburn Stone... stayed with it for 19 seasons, Arness and Stone to the very end. By that measure, GUNSMOKE will always have  L&O beat.)

A New Approach to Fandom

The Los Angeles Times reports today that DR. WHO executive producer Russell T. Davies is taking a new approach to fans. He's completely ignoring them.

"I think we're an unusual science-fiction franchise in taking a very big step back from fandom and having nothing to do with them. . . . Every program on the BBC has a message board on the website. I forbid it to happen on 'Doctor Who.' I'm sorry to say this, all the science fiction producers making stuff in America, they are way too engaged with their fandom. They all need to step back."

His policy of ignoring the fans doesn't seem to be hurting his show at all.  In fact, it may be helping by making his show more accessible to mainstream audiences worldwide.

It falls to Davies "to keep balancing how much continuity there is, how many stand-alone elements there are." Ever mindful of the shows' "mainstream audience" (meaning, not just sci-fi enthusiasts) and put off by "exclusivity" in general, he said he is reticent of creating overly inclusive stories dependent on viewers' in-depth knowledge of ornate histories.  This job is made easier by Davies' policy of ignoring the voices of those most vigilant.

Is there a lesson to be learned here for showrunners?    

Still Crazy After All These Years

My friend Javi has been a working TV writer/producer for a dozen years, has an Emmy award on his shelf, and even did a stint as a network executive. Nobody would blame him if he'd become just a little cynical and jaded about the business. But I'm pleased to report that he's got the same enthusiasm for TV that he had when he was just starting out...and I love it about him. Don't take my word for it, read this and decide for yourself.

Be Conventional

Writer/producer Lisa Klink regularly posts great advice for aspiring TV writers on her blog. Today she's talking about writing the episodic spec script:

Your first spec or two should demonstrate that you know how to follow the rules, and imitate the format and voice of a show.  Your “why not” script should show off your voice.

She also shares a very instructive anecdote:

I heard a great story from a fellow drama/sci-fi writer:  she wrote a “Lost” spec about Vincent.  Yes, Vincent, the dog - complete with a flashback to his life before the crash.  Wouldn’t you immediately grab that off the pile and read it?  A lot of people did.  My friend got a slew of meetings off her spec and, more importantly, a job.  She also had a “West Wing” spec, but it was the “Lost” which really launched her.  As we were talking about this, she said something particularly smart about sending out a spec: “You don’t need everyone to like it. You need someone to love it.”  Exactly.

Lisa is also a recent JEOPARDY champion, surviving for a full week before getting bounced on a question about....writers. That had to hurt.

WGA Crime Scene Rally

On Tuesday December 18^th , the Writers Guild of America is holding a bicoastal “Scene of the Crime” Rally for writers of crime and cop shows. Writers and stars of over 35 current and past crime/cop/law shows will be in attendance in Los Angeles and New York.

This is a great opportunity for fans of TV crime dramas to show their support for the writers who bring them shows like CSI, MONK, LAW AND ORDER, DEXTER and many more.

 

And here’s the best part – in Los Angeles, we’re holding the rally at the headquarters of the AMPTP. The Death Star itself.

 

In New York, the rally will be held at historic Foley Square downtown, in full view of the Federal and State Courthouses. Here are the details: 

Los Angeles: December 18^th, 10 am to 12 pm PST

AMPTP HQ, 15503 Ventura Blvd., Encino, a few blocks

west of the 405 at the corner of Firmament.

 

New York: December 18^th, 12 pm to 2 pm EST

Foley Square, Downtown NYC

 

I'm in Munich right now, but I am rushing back to be in Encino in time for the rally. I'll be the Pierce Brosnan look-alike with the picket sign and the bloodshot eyes, staggering around in a jet-lagged haze... 

A Subtle Clue

Here's a true story from the writers room. We were helping a freelancer, a first-timer to crime shows, plot her story. We needed a subtle clue to link two killings that previously seemed unrelated.

"I've got it," the freelancer said. "What if there is a tiny hole in the victim's head and we discover his brain has been drained out of his skull and replaced with dog shit."

"I don't think that's subtle enough," I said.

"Why not?" she said. "It's a small hole."

Needless to say, she ended up backing out of the assignment.

Purefoy is Saintly

My friend Dan Bodenheimer of the Official Saint Club reports that James Purefoy has been signed to play Simon Templar in TNT's pilot for a new SAINT series.  Purefoy is probably best known these days for his work on ROME, which was produced by the same folks behind this pilot.