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Screenwriting

Monday, July 13, 2009

This is Why Ken Levine Wins Emmys

Ken Levine's blog post today isn't just a brilliant satire of Aaron Sorkin's distinct style...it's also great writing. I loved it. Here's a taste:
EXT. KAUFFMAN STADIUM -- NIGHT

THE MANAGER, LEO, TROTS OUT TO THE MOUND TO TALK TO BELEAGURED PITCHER, DANNY (THERE’S ALWAYS A DANNY). THE BASES ARE LOADED. THE CROWD IS GOING NUTS. IT’S GAME SEVEN OF THE WORLD SERIES.

LEO

You can’t get a good lobster in this town.

DANNY

Last I checked we were in Kansas City.

LEO

4.6 billion pork ribs sold every year and 18.9 tons of beef consumed annually since 1997 –

DANNY

They like their beef, what can I tell ya?

LEO

But you’d think just for variety’s sake.

DANNY

I can still throw my curve.

LEO

For strikes?

DANNY

I’m not throwing enough?

LEO

I’ve seen more lobsters.

DANNY WALKS TO THE ROSIN SACK, GIVES IT A SQUEEZE, DECIDES TO KEEP WALKING. HE AND LEO NOW WALK OUT INTO CENTER FIELD.

DANNY

It’s just that… LEO

What? Kathy?

DANNY

No. Cabs. There’s no cohesiveness on this team. After road games, 25 cabs for 25 players. There used to be a thing called “the greater good”, forgoing your needs for the betterment of the team and community who looks to us for their identity and self worth. When I’m trying to save a game I’m really trying to save a factory. If baseball is a metaphor for life, then responsibility is its first cousin simile. And Kathy.

LEO

That’s a “1” on your back and not a “2”.

DANNY

I can’t help it. She knocks my sanitary socks off.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

"Before I was a TV writer, I was a street poet..."

Screenwriter, novelist, and teacher William Rabkin reveals the method to his madness, and gives some good career advice to aspiring screenwriters, in an interview at Write On today. Here's an excerpt:

How important is diversification for a writer?

I’m a big advocate of diversification. Right now, all our markets are shrinking—not a great problem if you’re, say, the showrunner of Desperate Housewives. But for the rest of us, we’re watching TV staffs shrinking, original screenplay sales diving, publishing in serious trouble. We can’t know where the next opportunity is going to come from—so it’s best to make yourself available for as many opportunities as possible.

How can a writer best get his or her work noticed?

Write really well. Oh, and if you can show up in a sex tape with a celebrity, that would help, too.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Mail I Get

I received this email from an agentless, aspiring screenwriter:
I just moved to LA about a year ago.[...]I've hooked up with a producer who is a former exec at a major studio. We talked about an idea he has for a sitcom. I like his idea a lot and I agreed to collaborate with him. The thing is, I've been helping him for a while now and even wrote a pilot, all with nothing but a verbal commitment from him to "do right" by me. I do trust him and we've become friends outside of "work."

Now, I've decided it's time to get more than just a verbal commitment from him. But I am at a loss as to what to ask for.[...] So far I've written a pilot and have helped out with character descriptions and episode outlines. Now he wants me to write another episode. Do you have any advice for someone like me?

Yes, I do. You are being screwed. The producer is taking advantage of your enthusiasm, inexperience and desperation. He should know better...and, if he is truly your friend (and the seasoned exec you say he is), and if he genuinely wanted to "do right" for you, he would have put a deal in writing before you started writing a word...for his protection and yours.

Don't do ANY more work for him or let him send out the script to anyone unless a deal is in place between the two of you.

Since you don't have an agent, you should consult with a lawyer. You should also visit the WGA website and get a copy of the applicable minimums and/or go to the Samuel French Bookstore and get a book on Entertainment industry contracts.

I'm not a lawyer or an agent, but some of the things you should seek are compensation (at least WGA minimums) for the scripts you have written immediately upon sale of the project, a minimum royalty per episode produced (you need to negotiate an amount), a shared created by credit with the producer (though that will be arbitrated by the Guild), a producer credit & salary on the show (whether you provide services or not) and an equal share of any and all monies that the producer is getting for ancillary rights, backend, etc. That's just for starters.

Friday, June 12, 2009

A TV Truism

Canadian TV writer Denis McGrath posted on his blog a simple TV truism that is nonetheless often taken for granted in this business:
The process of making a Friday Night Lights, or The Wire, or The Shield, is exactly the same process that results in Being Erica. It's just as much work to conceive of, break story for, and execute a little confection like Ugly Betty or Reaper or Cupid as it is to make The West Wing.
No matter what the show is, whether it's winning Emmys or going unnoticed, it still boils down to a showrunner and a bunch of writers in a room, breaking stories that can be told in four acts and shot in X number of days for X amount of money.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Seven Weeks

UK-based Writer/producer Stephen Gallagher takes you step-by-step through the seven weeks between the initial conception of an ELEVENTH HOUR episode idea and the start of filming. His experience is typical of American episodic television production...and very, very different from the way things are done in the UK...where the same process can take months, if not longer.
Here's the nub of it. It looks fast and scary. But for the writer, the actual amount of work in turning out an hour-long script for American TV barely differs from that involved in creating script for a UK hour. The difference is that the US system edits out the soul-destroying longueurs between stages, while your script sits on someone's desk or some executive disappears on holiday. It's the same act of writing, but you get to do it in real time; and because of that, you don't run the risk of anyone - you included - falling out of love with what you're doing.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Always Change the Names

All writers take some inspiration from their own lives for the stories they tell in their books and screenplays. But it looks like CSI writer/producer Sarah Goldfinger may have gone too far (or, at the very least, was sloppy about it). The Los Angeles Times reports:

When married real estate agents Scott and Melinda Tamkin read about an episode of the hit crime drama "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" that featured dirty-dealing, S&M-loving real estate agents named Scott and Melinda Tamkin, they didn't need to consult a forensic expert for an explanation. A house sale involving the Tamkins and a "CSI" producer had fallen apart four years before, and the producer was listed, in the same online description, as the co-writer of the episode. On Friday the Tamkins filed a $6-million defamation and invasion of privacy suit against the producer, Sarah Goldfinger, saying she humiliated them and cost them potential business...

I don't fault Goldfinger for using the couple as a jumping-off point for her story. There's nothing wrong with that. Series often use real-life events and people as inspiration (that's why they run a legal disclaimer on certain episodes of LAW & ORDER that are obviously "ripped from the headlines"). Goldfinger's mistake was actually using their real names in the script. Although the names of the characters were changed before the script was shot (undoubtedly after the standard legal script clearance process uncovered that there were actually real estate agents with the same name as those in the teleplay), the damage was done. The early draft was used for casting and initial network publicity. 

It's a surprising mistake for someone of Goldfinger's experience to make.  Every TV writer knows better...and probably cringed when they read about this. Look for this lawsuit to be quietly settled before it goes to court.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Breaking In

Screenwriter, producer, teacher, novelist and bon vivant William Rabkin has written an excellent article on Storylink about what a newbie writer has to do to break into television. You've still got to write an episodic spec script, but...

Your spec can’t simply be a good episode. It’s got to be bold, audacious, and big. It has to go places no one has ever thought of going before and do things no one has imagined doing. And it’s got to do it on the first page. Hell, on the first half page, because your reader may not bother going further than that. You’ve got to grab your readers right away and force them to keep reading.

In short, you need a gimmick.

No, typing your script in 3-D and including polarized glasses isn’t going to do it. What I mean by a gimmick is a transformative approach to storytelling that allows you to retell the series’ underlying narrative in a way that makes it seem new again. It’s a stylistic or structural element that shows that your vision is so intriguingly different that showrunners will fight to bring it to their series.

Monday, May 11, 2009

This is My Life

Getting fired, in the form of a series cancellation, is a fact of life for people working in the TV industry. As an example, The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday on what it's like for the crew of the CBS series THE UNIT to be waiting, and wondering, whether their show is coming back.

If drama is life heightened, then Hollywood's bubble shows mirror much of America right now, where the specter of pay reductions, freezes and immediate unemployment is writ large. In the television industry, the phenomenon is an annual rite as network executives decide which series will be ditched to make room for new projects.

"What the country in general is going through, if you choose to work in Hollywood, you've accepted a life that is constantly like that," said executive producerShawn Ryan, who runs "The Unit" and created the FX cable channel's cop drama "The Shield." 

[...]Executive producer Vahan Moosekian is as familiar with these employment ups and downs as anyone. His four years on "The Unit" is his longest stint on any show during his 33 years in the industry, stability he knows could easily be followed by years of unemployment. With the rise of reality TV and NBC's new 10 p.m. Jay Leno comedy show, there are fewer jobs in scripted television.

I know how Moosekian feels. For years, I used to dream about what it would be like to actually be on a show that came back for a second season. It seems like every show I was on would be canceled during it's first season, or if it came back, I would leave for one reason or another before it happened. It wasn't until DIAGNOSIS MURDER that I discovered what it felt like to be on a show for several years...though we were on the bubble for renewal, not just every season, but every mid-season as well.  

I have never seen things as tough for TV writers as they are now. There are fewer scripted dramas and fewer writer/producer slots on them. Even if you are lucky enough to be on a show that gets renewed, you might not come back with it --- every show is trimming expenses and writers are the first to go when networks and studios look to cut costs. 

Then again, it's tough for everybody in every industry right now.


Friday, March 20, 2009

"Take Me To Your Leader, Lee Goldberg"

One of the biggest, most persistent, and bone-headed cliches in TV & movie science fiction is the alien and/or robot who enunciates every syllable when he speaks, doesn't use contractions, and calls everyone by their full name. Where did these aliens learn English? From watching movies about space aliens coming to earth? They can master travel at light speed, but can't figure out how to say "don't" instead of "do not?" Or why doesn't someone, as William Rabkin laments, ever tell them:  

“In English, we have a last name that we share with our family and a first name that uniquely identifies us. And if you want to pass unrecognized as an alien, it’s important that you learn this distinction.” 

So why does this ridiculous conceit continue in movie after movie? Pure laziness [...]it’s such a hideous cliche by now that you’d think even the aliens would have figured it out…

Apparently, the new WITCH MOUNTAIN remake is the latest offender to perpetuate this hoary cliche...

Of course, the cliche that comes next is the alien asking "what is this thing humans call love?" If I recall, the bad remake of DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL pulled that one, too. 

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Missouri Breaks

The 94th Annual Missouri Writer's Guild Conference April 3-5 in Cape Girardeau is shaping up to be a terrific weekend...and I'm not just saying that because I'm one of the lecturers. Speakers are still being added, but folks on tap include Simon & Schuster editor Kate Angelella and writer Harvey Stanbrough, who has been nominated for the National Book Award, the Pulitzer Prize, the Pushcart Prize, and just about everything else except the Booker, the Nobel, and The Oscar (but I'm sure they'll be calling him any minute now). Here's some more info from the conference organizers on the Sunday "Master Classes."

Spend the night at Drury Lodge for $85 and attend a Sunday Masters Class for $65 from 9 to noon! If you have a busy weekend, you can just come to Cape for Sunday morning and attend a master's class. These are smaller sized classes where you have intense instruction from a writing professional. Many of these are taught in workshop format where you will be doing some writing and learning both! Here's the four fantastic classes we are offering:

Class Number One: Lee Goldberg's "Breaking Into TV Writing -- The Crash Course."

TV writer/producer Lee Goldberg ("SeaQuest," "Monk," "Diagnosis Murder," ) will teach you how to watch TV the way professional television writers do -- how to recognize the "franchise" of a show, the four-act structure, and the unique conflicts that drive the weekly storytelling. These are essential skills that are not only important in understanding TV, but also in writing the all important spec script that will be your calling card (but many of the lessons he teaches can also be applied to novel-writing). This three-hour seminar combines a free-wheeling lecture and discussion with clips from television shows that highlight the key points. You'll never watch TV the same way again after this seminar.

Class Number Two: Harvey Stanbrough's "Writing Realistic Dialogue Workshop" 

Harvey's classes are often STANDING ROOM ONLY. He's that good! This is a discussion of the necessity and excessive use of tag lines and brief descriptive narrative passages; the physical and abstract nuances of Implication; the use of sentences vs. sentence fragments; the use of dialect, including truncated and/or phonetic spellings; mechanics; and conveying emotion through dialogue.

Class Number Three: Barri Bumgarner's "Let's Write! Workshop"

Barri Bumgarner is a teacher like no other. She is enthusiastic, fun, and encouraging. Anytime you have a chance to take a class with Barri--seize the opportunity. This class is a session designed to inspire and get ideas formulated, design characters, plots, and even do a bit of writing!

Class Number Four: Annette Fix's "Memoir Workshop"

Annette Fix has written a fantastic memoir, The Break-Up Diet, and this is not easy to do. She brings her story to life through humor and also includes universal themes. If you are writing a memoir or ever thought about writing one, you don't want to miss this workshop.
Don't delay! Sign up today! www.mwgconference.org (We've heard rumors there's a storytelling festival in Cape that weekend, too. So there's lots of things to do!)

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Two Web Pilots. Do They Represent The Future...or The Past?

Here's The Remnants from writer/director John August...this one cost $25,000 to produce.



And here's Fusion, from writer/producer Richard Manning....this one cost less than $10,000 to produce.

Both are slickly produced and well-written. But are they the future of television? It seems to me like the majority of scripted, drama web pilots have a sci-fi slant. Is that a requirement of web shows simply because they are viewed on a computer screen? 

Every "webisode" and web drama I've seen all look like re-purposed TV shows rather than story-telling & film-making that takes advantage of the unique qualities and resources of the medium they are using. Why are we sticking so rigidly to the TV formats and techniques in this new medium?

What do you think? Would you click on new episodes of these shows every week? Would you pay to subscribe to them?

UPDATE: You can also catch the FUSION pilot here.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Mail I Get

I got an email today asking me about the 1988 ABC TV series MURPHY'S LAW, which starred George Segal as an insurance investigator and Maggie Han as his much-younger girlfriend. The email said, in part:

"I am a big fan of Murphy's Law, and I am not sure anyone else can answer my question! What happened in the unaired episode? (I believe it was called "All's Wrong That Ends Wrong".) And while I have you, were there plans for where the series would go, had it continued? [...] Did you enjoy the series? What was it like working for Michael Gleason and Leonard Stern? There is so little written about the show, I would love to know any of your recollections."

The series was based on the TRACE and DIGGER novels by Warren Murphy. Michael Gleason, the creator and showrunner of REMINGTON STEELE, was the executive producer and Ernie Wallengren was the supervising producer. Each episode was titled after one of the Murphy's Laws from the books published by Price Stern & Sloan (a company co-founded by Leonard Stern, one of our producers).

Gleason protege Lee David Zlotoff (who created MacGYVER) wrote and produced the 90-minute pilot which, as I recall, neither ABC nor New World Pictures Television was too happy with. So they brought in Michael, who re-cut it, shot some new scenes, and dropped the melancholy Mike Post theme in favor of a song by Al Jarreau. The idea was to make the show more light-hearted, though there definitely were some on-going dramatic elements regarding Murphy's battle with alcoholism and his efforts to win visitation rights with his young daughter from his estranged wife, played by Kim Lankford.

I have enormous affection for MURPHY'S LAW because working on it had a lasting impact on me personally and professionally. It was the first staff job that Bill Rabkin and I had ever had...and it came right after the longest writers strike in the history of the TV industry. We wanted the job so bad and it was astonishing to us that we actually got it.We were working on the CBS/Radford lot and sharing a floor with the staff of THIRTYSOMETHING, which was pretty cool, too.

I was a huge admirer of Michael Gleason's and, frankly, couldn't believe we were actually working for him. He was so charming, creative, funny and friendly...he couldn't have made it easier or more exciting for us... but even so, I was intimidated to actually have achieved my dream, and so afraid of failing, that for the first day or two after we got the green-light to write our script I suffered complete writer's block, which broke only because Bill was there to walk me through it. We wrote two scenes together, line by line, and it was so much fun that I got so caught up in the writing that I forgot to be afraid.

I could go on and on about the show but the best thing about it was that Michael Gleason and Ernie Wallengren were wonderful writers and producers and very nice people. They taught us everything they knew, let us into casting, editing, music spotting and every other aspect of production...and gave us far more responsibility than we had any right to have. They also became more than our bosses...they became very close friends who we would work with again and again over the years. Series regular Kim Lankford introduced her cousin Carrie (or was it her niece?) to Bill, who promptly fell in love and married her...and they are still together today.

To answer your specific questions...we worked closely with Michael Gleason and consider him our mentor. We owe our careers to him and Ernie. We met Leonard Stern many times, but he wasn't actively involved in the writing or producing of the series.

By the time we shot the 13th episode, we knew we'd been canceled and were going through the motions. The final episode, at New World's insistence, was designed as a spin-off starring Joan Severance as a thief-turned-insurance investigator. Two versions were cut -- one as a MURPHY'S LAW episode, the other as a pilot that largely cut our cast out of the action. I don't know who had the brilliant idea of trying to sell a spin-off from a canceled show but, needless to say, it went nowhere. At the end of the episode, Murphy wins his long battle for unsupervised visitation rights with his daughter and the final shot is the two of them embracing on an airport runway.  The episode never aired...but I have a copy.

As far as I know, the show has never been in syndication and the only episode ever released to home video was the pilot...

Here's the main title sequence...

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

When a Reward Isn't a Reward

I love anecdotes like the one writer/producer Earl Pomerantz shares on his blog today about the "reward" CBS gave him for the success of his sitcom MAJOR DAD:

Maybe you can help figure out what the reward was. I still don’t get it. The deal went like this: I would write two scripts as the prototypes for two television series. CBS would guarantee that one of those scripts would be produced as a pilot. Unless they didn’t like either of them. (Oops. There goes the guarantee.) If they were unhappy with both shows, as a consequence of, you know, obliterating the guarantee, CBS would be required to pay a financial penalty. To the studio I was working for. Not to me.

They don't teach you about this sort of  stuff in film school...which is a shame, because that's the kind of knowledge you really need to know to survive in this business. I'm still trying to learn it myself...

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Mail I Get - NCIS Edition

I got this very long email from someone who would like NCIS to do an episode about something she experienced as an employee on a cruise ship. It read, in small part:

I'm sure that you get emails like this all the time. I have an idea for an episode of NCIS. I have been searching around the internet trying to figure out how to actually make this happen, and I came across your website. Before you read this, you should know that I am a very. persistant person. [...]I used to work onboard a cruise ship. In a nutshell, I witnessed something bad happen in December 2007 at the hands of my boss, my boss's boss, and the onboard Human Resources manager. I tried to report it to someone I thought I could trust, but I apparently trusted the wrong person. She forwarded my emails in its entirety to the gentlemen that I had named, and then things got REALLY bad. I wish they just fired me (I actually resigned), but it was much worse than that. To make a long story short...

She didn't make it short...or comprehensible. She went on for another few thousand words and I still don't understand what happened or if it was even a crime. She went on and on to say, in part:

I would like to pitch the story idea to a writer to create an episode for NCIS. People should be aware of what goes on, and that it can be unsafe in international waters. [...]And to answer you next question, which I presume is "Why would the NCIS team investigate something on a cruise ship", I figure that the husband character could have been a former Marine (many cruise ship employees are)[...]Can you help point me in the right direction? I'd like to see the story told. To prove to you that I am not a crazy person, I work for a prestigious film festival.

I was skeptical about her, but once she said she worked at a prestigious film festival, I knew she was cool because nobody unstable, or with unrealistic expectations about the TV business, ever work for film festivals.

I politely told her that I couldn't help her and that there was virtually no way that she'd be able to sell her story to NCIS (not that I could figure out what the heck her story actually was). I suggested that she might have better luck getting her story out, and do more good, by going to a newspaper reporter rather a TV show about fictional detectives.

She got back to me right away with a lengthy, and yet sketchy, explanation of why she couldn't go to the press but could go to a TV cop show to get her message out. She is determined to get NCIS, or some other detective show, to hear her story

I have no interest in selling the story -- I don't need, nor want, any money for it. And I'm not crazy enough to think that I would actually write the script. I am very good at what I do, but writing is not what I do. But I do know that the screenwriters get their ideas from somewhere -- so I guess what I need is for one of the decision makers to be stumped for story ideas one day, and turn to my story for inspiration.

She vowed to press on and not be discouraged. I thought about writing her back and saying that there's a reason that they say that the stories on shows like LAW AND ORDER, NCIS, and CSI are "ripped from the headlines." Because that's where they get their inspiration, from the news, not from people sending in their personal stories of crime and conspiracy (if that is, indeed, what her story is about). But I decided to let it drop.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Writers Write

Office James Reasoner is one of the most prolific authors that I know...he's had hundreds of books published, mostly in the western genre. And yet very few people know who he is. Why? Because the majority of those books don't have his name on them (they were written under "house names" owned by the publisher or a literary estate).

For a lot of authors, the most important thing to them is seeing their name on the cover. But for James (pictured on the left hard at work), the most important thing is to make a living writing, something he loves to do and is very good at:

At one point in my career, I had published more than eighty books, only one of which (TEXAS WIND) had my name on it. People used to ask me how I could write a book knowing that my name wouldn’t be on it, and my stock answer was “I don’t care if my name is on the book as long as it’s on the check.” Of course, that’s not exactly true now and wasn’t then. I’d love to be able to just write what I want, sell it, and have my name on it. But being able to keep writing, period, is more important to me.

It's a refreshing...and dare I say it, professional...attitude that you don't find much today. So many aspiring writers rush to self-publishing companies simply because they want the experience of seeing their name on a book cover, even if they have to spend thousands of dollars to do it. But James is different. He's a real writer and a true professional. I wish there were more like him:

There are dozens of books out there now with my name on them, and I’m thankful for Reasoner1 each and every one of them. I hope there’ll be more in the future. But as long as I can keep writing, one way or the other, I’ll be okay. That’s just me. I don’t really think that’s the only way to carve out a career – I’m sure every author has a different approach – but I feel like I’ve played the cards that were dealt to me and won more than I’ve lost.

I know how he feels. I think I may have told this story here before, but...a couple of years ago, it was down to Bill Rabkin & me against one other candidate for the co-exec producer job on a major hit series. The showrunner couldn't choose between the us and the other guy. So we met with the studio chief, who would be deciding who ultimately got the job. The interview was going great, and I was feeling real good about our chances, until the studio chief said:

"I only have on reservation about you two. Why don't you have sexier credits?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Why haven't you ever worked on Law and Order or CSI?"

"Because we never had the opportunity, either because we were working on something else when they had openings or they weren't interested in hiring us when we were available," I said. "In the course of our career, we didn't have the luxury of picking and choosing our jobs as much as we would have liked. We have families and had to make a living so we took what came along and what interested us. But if you like us, our writing, our producing philosophy, and the way we tell stories, what difference does it make whether we worked on CSI or Diagnosis Murder?"

We might also have mentioned that our friend Terry Winter was working on SISTER SISTER when he got hired on the SOPRANOS, where he won Emmys and WGA Awards. His previous credits include THE NEW ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER and XENA. Not exactly the sexiest credits.

Well, it goes without saying that we didn't get the job. They hired someone with sexier credits. And fired him thirteen episodes later.

I like seeing my name in print and on the TV screen, but I consider myself first and foremost a working, professional writer. I write because I love it, but I also write to earn a living. Sometimes my creative or personal desires have to take a backseat to simply having a job. I don't think that Terry or I wrote for FLIPPER because we had a burning need to tells stories about a clever dolphin. We did it because writing is what we do and how we pay our bills.

UPDATE 12-20-2008: Bill Crider reviews James Reasoner's latest LONGARM novel (written under the house name "Tabor Evans.") And here's a Saddlebums review of one of Reasoner's 2007 LONGARM tales and an interview they did with him.

The Mail I Get -- Still More!

I have two pieces of mail to share with you today. First off is this query from an aspiring screenwriter in Germany:

I am trying to collect experience in "stoffentwicklung" what might be similar to the expression "scriptwriting" for movies and television. I had the Idea to got to Los Angeles- Hollywood to do a trainee, but I really don't know if this is common in the same way as it is here in Germany. I would be very greatfull if you could help me on this.

I replied:

I'm not aware of all the trainee opportunities in screenwriting in L.A...but the few that I know about are highly competitive. You would be competing against graduates of the film schools at UCLA, USC and NYU, to name a few. And I suspect the trainee programs are more likely to take a U.S. writer than one from Europe. That said, it couldn't hurt to apply anyway. All it will cost you is a stamp or a click.

I got the following email from a writer who says he's trying to decide whether or not to self-publish his novel. But  it seems to me from his note that he has already decided to self-publish and is trying to justify his decision to himself:

I am an aspiring and intelligent writer who is aware that there are so many less-than-honest companies. Do you despise all self publishing or do you see the value in some authors deciding to self publish? Are there any companies in particular that you have found success with? Do you know approximately how many legitimate literary agents are available in the US and how many manuscripts they take on per year? I know that there are relatively unknown authors that do get the opportunity to publish but is there an average advancement amount that is given to a first timer? How is the figure decided? I am passionate about what I have written and I do not want the manuscript, characters, places, etc to be altered in any way. Can I get a guarantee from a traditional publisher that my work will not be manipulated or misconstrued?

Here's how I replied:

I don't know how many legitimate literary agents there are, or how many manuscripts are published each year, or what the average advance is for new writers. It's irrelevant anyway. It sounds to me like you are asking those questions to justify a decision you've already made to hand over your credit card to a vanity press. What you're implying is that it's just too damn hard to break in... and you don't want to make the effort. And since, on top of that, you refuse to even consider editing your work in any way, then yes, I think it's unlikely that you will find an agent or a publisher.

Why? Because no agent is likely to represent a newbie writer as inflexible  as you appear to be...unless, of course, your work is mind-blowingly spectacular and amazingly commercial.  And while a real publisher won't edit your work without your consent...they also won't publish it if you are unwilling to make the changes they think are necessary.

So if what you want is your manuscript to be printed in a form resembling a book without any editing whatsoever, then hell yes, call iUniverse right away. You won't sell any copies, and it will cost you a small fortune, but at least it will be printed in book form without any chance of rejection, editing...or  advances and sales. But hey, at least you will have done it your way and avoided any chance of someone telling you something you don't want to hear.

You are, in fact, exactly the kind of person vanity presses pray for...not only do they like the desperate and naive, they also appreciate people whose high opinion of their own work is only matched by their fear of rejection and lack of fortitude.

Do I despise all self-publishing? No, I don't. I despise the vanity presses that prey on the stupidity and desperation of aspiring authors and swindle them out of their money. And I have little patience for newbie writers who are so intent on finding a short-cut that they blind themselves to obvious scams.

Self-publishing is rarely a wise idea for fiction but it can work with non-fiction, especially if you have a strong platform from which to publicize and sell the book,  like teaching a class, hosting a TV or radio show, preaching to a congregation, touring as a speaker, running seminars, etc.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Will the Real Nick Schenk Please Stand Up?

Yesterday, the Los Angeles Times ran a story on Nick Schenk, a struggling Minnesota screenwriter who'd sold the first script he'd ever written, GRAN TORINO, to Clint Eastwood, who shot it without changing a word. It was an unlikely, inspiring success story.

The script was so well crafted and understated (and the credits went by so fast) that after seeing the picture, I immediately called Bill Gerber, one of the film's producers, to find out which one of the many A-list screenwriters who must always be knocking down Eastwood's door had penned the story.

"Are you sitting down?" Gerber asked. He had quite a surprise. The writer, Nick Schenk, who lives in Minnesota, had never sold a feature script in his life. In fact, the only writing work Schenk had done was for "BoDog Fight," a mixed martial arts TV show, a game show called "Let's Bowl" and some comedy sketches collected in a DVD called "Factory Accident Sex." ("That title doesn't exactly help my career, does it?" Schenk jokes.) Schenk says he wrote the script, using a pen and a pad of paper, sitting at night in a bar called Grumpy's in northeast Minneapolis.

But in today's Daily Variety, Schenk tells a very different story.

Nick Schenk sold the first script he ever wrote. "It went to Disney and, not to date myself, but Katzenberg greenlit that thing, and when he went to Dreamworks it died that day. They had a director and it was cast -- the whole works." TV gigs and spec scripts followed.

So what's the real story?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Putting on your Comedy Hat

Earl Pomerantz has posted another wonderful anecdote from his days writing and producing Major Dad.

I meet with McRaney and his manager to discuss the problems McRaney’s having with the scripts. At some point in the discussion, McRaney’s manager, coincidentally a former Marine, says, “Now, putting on my ‘comedy hat’….”

I, internally, hit the roof, and bang my head against it a few hundred times. I’m not a Marine. I don’t claim, and never have claimed, to have a “Marine hat.” McRaney’s manager had never been involved in a comedy. Where the heck did he get a “comedy hat”!?

If you love tv, you should be reading Earl's blog.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Major Brilliant

Major_dad I have been loving writer/producer Earl Pomerantz's brilliant and hilarious blog posts about the development of his sitcom MAJOR DAD. Here's an anecdote he shared about working on the pilot with then-CBS President Kim LeMasters:

Here’s something somebody told me I said once about how TV networks behave: “The first thing they say is the last thing they say.” What did I mean by that? I meant this.

During the “casting approval” process, the president of CBS, Kim (a man) had strongly objected to the casting of Shanna Reed as our leading lady. Universal insisted. We got Shanna Reed.

It is now the night before the filming. What is Kim’s primary “note”, besides that the show doesn’t “ring true” to the spirit of the Marine Corps?

“I can’t tell you what to do,” he began, before telling us what to do, “but if I were you, I would close down production and look for another leading lady.”

Friday, October 31, 2008

Writers Write

Career3 My friend Lisa Klink has some great advice for TV writers who are finding it very cold out there right now:

Budgets have been cut and writing staffs have been reduced, resulting in more competition for jobs.  Some experienced writers are taking less money and/or lower titles just to keep working.  Networks are ordering fewer pilots, which is also increasing competition among writers trying to sell shows.  There’s a general tension and uncertainty in the air, which makes the people doing the hiring less inclined to take chances on unproven talent.

Depressed yet?  I don’t say all this to be discouraging, just to offer some perspective.  If you’re not getting the opportunities you’ve been hoping for, it probably has less to do with your talent as a writer than the stressed-out state of the business.  So what’s a writer to do?  What we do best.  Get creative.  Expand your horizons beyond television to other media: video games, web series, graphic novels, etc.  Get (or borrow) a digital camera and make a short.  Write a one act play and stage a reading.  Explore every possible way to get your work seen and produced.

None of this is to suggest that you should stop writing new specs, meeting new people and looking for TV work.  But in addition to a full-frontal assault, try coming at the TV biz sideways.  Having any kind of success in any medium will distinguish you from your competition.  More importantly, I think it’s psychologically helpful to any writer frustrated with the business to find other creative outlets.  Take a break from beating your head against the wall and have some fun with your talent.  Remind yourself that you are actually a good writer - and become an even better writer while you’re at it.

She's right. As my grandfather used to say, "You can't catch fish with your line in the boat" (it's amazing how many different situations I can apply that advice to, just like he did). That's why I am always working on several things at once.

Today is a good example. I had a pitch at FX, I did some research for my next "Monk" novel (which is due in April), I wrote five pages of my "standalone" novel, got notes on a spec script I've optioned to some producers,  and I started sketching out some ideas for a pitch I have on the 13th.

I have my professional ups and downs, and personal ones as well, but no matter what I am always writing something. Even when I had two broken arms. It's how I stay sane and it's probably how I stay in business.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Mail I Get

I debated whether to post this email or not with the actual producer's name in it. I decided that I probably shouldn't but I will give you this hint...I have sparred with him here before, which is why I got this email:

 XYZ  just called me and said he wanted to read my script. He emailed a contract and then stated that I need to pay him $600 up front against his 15% commission. I know this isn’t normal but he is a real producer. My question is, am I getting scammed here?

Yes, you are getting scammed. No legitimate producer or agent would ask you for a fee. A producer also doesn't ask for, or get, a commission on sales. He may have been a "real" producer once...but if he is asking you for $600, he's not any more.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Me on Me

Writer/producer/screenwriter David Simkins (DRESDEN FILES, BRISCO COUNTY, ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING, etc.) and writer/producer/author Marc Scott Zicree (TWILIGHT ZONE COMPANION, MAGIC TIME, SLIDERS etc.) came over to my house and interviewed me for their on-going podcast conversation about tv, movies, and sci-fi.

Lee Goldberg's resumé reads like a TV what’s-what for the last twenty years. He’s staffed shows, ran shows, written, directed and produced them in the U.S. and Europe. And if that’s not enough, he’s also a published novelist. Next up: splitting the atom. Listen in.

Under their intense interrogation ("Hello, Lee, how are you?"), I don't shut up for an hour-and-a-half.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Become the Next Norman Lear

This November, Emmy Award winning comedy writer Ken Levine is hosting another one of his phenomenal SITCOM ROOM writing classes:

With all the writing classes and books around, I realized there’s one thing none of them teach – what it’s actually like being in a sitcom writing ro>Practically all sitcoms are “room written” these days (even single camera shows like 30 ROCK). That’s when a dysfunctional group of funny, creative people somehow manage, collectively, to craft a brilliantly funny (or at least not embarrassing) script while suffering from incredible time pressure and personality clashes.
[...]I found myself imagining a weekend workshop that gives you the hands-on experience you could only get in a professional writing room [...]A cross between a seminar/workshop and comedy writing fantasy camp.

If you want to be a TV comedy writer, you've got to take this class. There are still a few spaces left, so sign up fast.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Inside the Writers Rooms

S640x480 Two showrunners, Javier Grillo Marxuach and John Rogers, are giving aspiring a screenwriters an inside peek, literally and figuratively, into their writers rooms for MIDDLEMAN and LEVERAGE. It's great stuff. Today, John explains the process behind plotting their stories. (The picture is of the MIDDLEMAN staff, with my friend Javi on the far right).

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Our Worst Script

I published the post below on this blog in July 2006...and forgot all about what I said I'd do at the end. Now I am following through...

Ken Levine writes today about the worst script he and his partner ever wrote.

In 1993 my writing partner, David Isaacs and I did a short run series for CBS called BIG WAVE DAVE’S starring Adam Arkin and David Morse. It ran that summer, got 19 shares, kept 100% of MURPHY BROWN’S audience and was cancelled. At the time CBS had starring vehicles in the wings for Peter Scolari, Bronson Pinchot, and the always hilarious Faye Dunaway so they didn’t need us.

We were given a production order of six with three back-up scripts. We assigned the first two back-ups to our staff and planned on writing the third ourselves. When the show was cancelled we put in to CBS to get paid for the additional scripts. They said fine, but we had to turn in the completed scripts. Gulp!

Bill Rabkin and I had almost the exact same experience on SEAQUEST. We'd already turned in the outline for  episode 14 when we got canceled. But in order to get paid for the teleplay, we had to write it. We did it in one day, while we were packing up our office. I still live in fear that some sf fan will stumble on a bootleg draft at a scifi convention, post it on the net, and people will think we actually write that bad. I'm in Germany now, or I'd post an excerpt. I'll try to remember to do it when I return.

Darwin UPDATE March 8, 2007:  Okay, here's an excerpt from "About Face,"  the script Bill and I wrote in a day to get our script fee. We knew no one would ever read it. All you need to know to follow along is that Piccolo a man with gills and Darwin is a talking dolphin (I'm not kidding).

Continue reading "Our Worst Script" »

Friday, July 13, 2007

Writing Drama

Writing_drama I just read a review copy of the third edition of Yves Lavandier's WRITING DRAMA. The book was translated from the French edition by Bernard Besserglik, so I am not exactly sure who I should blame for how dull the writing is. But I can certainly point the finger at Yves for the pomposity and the sheer wordiness. WRITING DRAMA is actually a very good book about writing – whether it's plays, scripts or books -- with lots of practical advice and important lessons about story structure, character development, and dialogue to offer. Unfortunately, I've read software manuals that are more lively and engaging.

Yves is obviously a bright, educated guy who has seen a lot of movies and thought hard about them…and he wants to be sure you know it.  So to get to his very good advice, you have to endure lots of irrelevant digressions, pointless footnotes, self-indulgent pontificating, and lots of tiresome repetition (and far more examples and film references than are necessary). However there's so much practical wisdom in the book that I wish he'd had a decent editor or at least followed his own good advice:   

Economy – the art of condensing a text, of conveying as much information as possible in a compact form – is highly gratifying to the spectator. […] the writer should work through it again adding stylistic features and as many touches of humour and poetry as can be managed, in other words, the literary flourishes that make it more agreeable to read, and thus improve its chances of pleasing…

If he'd taken his own advice, the book would have been a quarter of the size and much more useful, not to mention more readable (For starters, he could ditch what amounts to a 30 page introduction, in which he actually tells the reader they might want to skip ahead a few pages).

There's a lot to criticize about the book, particularly his lecturing about what's right and wrong about certain movies, his inane rules for writing for children, his ponderous deconstruction of comedy, and his opinions on television writing. But all that said, I would highly recommend the book to aspiring writers…and even established professionals looking for a little refresher. It worked for me. I am in the midst of adapting a book that I optioned and his book really got me thinking about my task. Reading WRITING DRAMA definitely helped me focus…to sharpen my outline and refine the character arcs. And I have been a working, professional screenwriter for a while now.

Yves begins his book by stating a few points that should be self-evident, but it's amazing how many writers of scripts and novels today seem to forget them:

[Writers] are all without exception writing for other people, for that set of others known as the audience. A work of drama exists only for and by virtue of the public. It takes two to speak this language: writer and receiver, with the actor-character as intermediary. Indeed, however much the actors pretend to be addressing each other, everything they say is directed in just one direction: at the spectator. […] Writers who do not take the trouble to master the language of their art, in other words to find out how the public receives and perceives drama, are too often inaccessible. Perhaps they believe that it is up to the public to be curious about their work, when it fact it is up to them to stimulate the public's curiosity. […] Drama does not exist because there are writers of drama; it is rather that writers of drama exist because there is a human need for drama. Whether he likes it or not, the writer's role is to meet this need.

His lengthy section on conflict and emotion is particularly strong.

Conflict is at the heart of drama because conflict is at the heart of life, of which drama is an imitation. […]  Conflict is a revealer of personality, which is why the great writers of drama have used it so abundantly. […] Conflict means opposition and thus obstacle.

He later writes, in his chapter on character, that:

The action that a character adopts when faced with a conflict, either to prevent it or to overcome it, is one of the best indicators of the kind of person he is.

Those may seem like obvious points, but it's surprising how many rookie screenwriters and novelists fail to realize how important conflict is, thinking instead that witty description in the action and expository dialogue are the best ways to reveal character. Whenever I am writing, and a scene doesn't work, there's usually a problem with the conflict and the objectives each character is pursuing, or not pursuing, in the scene. Yves offers a useful schematic for the basic dramatic process:

Character—objective—obstacle—conflict--emotion

A character seeks to achieve an objective but encounters obstacles, which gives rise to conflict and leads to emotion, not just for the character but also for the spectator.

This not only leads to drama, but also to comedy. Conflict is storytelling and it is character. His chapters on the Protagonist, Objectives and Obstacles are also full of good points and interesting observations:

Some writers refuse to be cruel to their protagonists. It is simply beyond them. They identify so much with their characters that they suffer if they have to make them suffer. They fail to realize that the best way of getting the spectator to share their concern and love for their protagonists is precisely to spare them nothing.

I agree with him. And yet, he later advises:

When a writer wishes to indulge his sadistic tendencies, it is better that he should do so on a secondary character rather than the protagonist.

I am not sure from reading his book where he actually draws that line, but it doesn't matter. I can live with his apparent contradiction. Overall, there's a lot a writer can learn from Yves' book and, despite the wordiness and occasional pomposity, it may be one of the best books on screenwriting out there.

As an aside (and there are many, many, many of them in the book), he's also a persuasive defender of, and believer in, writers as the primary creative force in film-making:

It is the writer's role to determine everything meaningful that goes into a work of drama. In theory, the actors, director, production designer, composer or editor should not have to do anything more than recreate, using their respective skills, the meaning intended by the writer. They are servants of the writer's vision in a sense which, I stress, is by no means pejorative and furthermore requires real talent.

So it's appropriate to close on one of his earliest and truest observations:

[…] people talk as if the screenplay does not exist. Or no longer exists. We are told the screenplay is a transitional phenomenon, existing only  briefly, its relation to the film comparable to that of a caterpillar to a butterfly. This might be true of the object itself, the grubby manuscript that circulates from hand-to-hand on the set […] but it is emphatically not true of the text as a work of art, the product of a writer's imaginings, the film narrative. […] it is often the key element on which the quality of the movie depends.

If you've got the fortitude to slog through this book, and if you can stay awake, you will be rewarded with some valuable advice that will help you become a better writer. (Now if only his publisher could come out with an abridged edition…but with some liveliness, humor and character added!).

Thursday, March 08, 2007

As The Crow Flies

Crow_business_card My friend Bryce Zabel talks about the development of his TV series version of THE CROW, which is about to be released on DVD. It's fascinating stuff (what's even more fascinating is that he saved his business card):

What do you do when the incredibly violent film you are asked to adapt to a TV audience is based on cruelty, and the main character is driven by a thirst for revenge?

My answer? You expand the premise to fully explore the nature of life after death, and you change the character quest from revenge to redemption.

And how do you handle the fact that the cult film was made infamous by the horrible on-set death of its star, Brandon Lee?

That was a tougher question because the idea behind the TV series was to use the Eric Draven character, the one who'd been in the comics and that Brandon Lee had played. My take was that, tragic as Lee's death was, George Reeves' tragic death did not prevent Christopher Reeve or Dean Cain from playing Superman, and that we would just have to proceed and hope that our own version stood intact on its own.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Fast Track

One of the reasons I have been jetting back-and-forth to Europe a lot lately is because I'm writing and producing a two-hour movie/pilot for Action Concept that will be shot in Berlin in May for  broadcast on ProSieben (a big German network) and worldwide in international syndication. I've waited until we got the firm greenlight before sharing the news with you (I'm superstitious that way).

The project is called FAST TRACK and is about urban street racing (yes, I'm being intentionally vague). The movie will be packed with amazing, street-racing action (check out the Action Concept website to see what these guys can do!) and shot entirely in English. The leading roles are being cast in Los Angeles by Burrows/Boland,  who did LORD OF THE RINGS, KING KONG, CAST AWAY, 21 JUMP STREET, CONTACT, A-TEAM, DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MARTIAL LAW, to name a few.

I'll bring you reports from the set as production moves along.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Inside The Writers Room

Writer/producer Matt Witten talks with Deutsche Welle about the Media Exchange "Writers Room" seminars I've been doing with Action Concept in Germany. Matt sums it up pretty nicely:

American shows tend to be pretty fast-paced and vigorously structured, and the way we structure the action and the conflict for our main characters has been thought through in ways that are fresh for German writers, they haven't necessarily heard it described in these terms. So it gives them a new way of looking at the writing they're doing. They were also intrigued by the fact that in America we have staff writers who meet every day, and we have a head writer responsible for the consistency of the show -- "the show-runner." These concepts are new in Germany, where there is no cohesion of writing staff. Instead, episodes are written by freelancers who turn in maybe just two a year. Another thing in American TV is that directors don't have the power to change the script without talking to the writer.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Reviews and Interviews

Matt Witten and I were interviewed in Lohr, Germany by a Serienjunkies, a German website devoted to television. You can read the wide-ranging interview (in English!) over the next several days here and here.

And my book MR. MONK AND THE BLUE FLU has received some very nice reviews while I have been away from Bookgasm, MyShelf, Gerald So, and Gumshoe Review.

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Lee On Tour

  • July 11, 2009 11 am
    Mystery Bookstore
    1036-C Broxton Ave.
    Los Angeles, CA 90024
    310/209-0415 or 800/821-9017
    www.mystery-bookstore.com
    Signing with William Rabkin

    July 11, 2009 3 pm
    Mysteries to Die For
    Thousand Oaks, CA
    www.mysteriestodiefor.com
    Signing with William Rabkin

    July 24 3-4:30
    Comic-Con
    Scribe Awards/Tie-in Writing Panel
    San Diego Convention Center
    with Max Allan Collins, James Rollins, Matt Forbeck, Tod Goldberg, and others.

    Aug. 12-17 2009 International Mystery Writers Festival
    RiverPark Performing Arts Center
    Owensboro, KY
    Speaking with Sue Grafton and MONK producer David Breckman.

    Oct. 24, 2009 10 am
    American Association of University Women
    Four Point Sheraton
    Ventura, CA

    Nov. 21, 2009 9-4:30 pm
    Literary Guild of Orange County's Men of Mystery
    Irvine Marriott
    18000 Von Karman Avenue
    Irvine, CA
    Signing with Tod Goldberg
    info: LitGuildOC@yahoo.com

Books by Lee Goldberg