A Writer's Life

We Are Family

My brother Tod wrote a piece for the Wall Street Journal today about what it's like being part of a family of writers...and the dymanics that have shaped us into the authors were are today. He  says, in part:

the truth is that I didn’t really grow up surrounded by writers as much as all the people I grew up with – my older brother, Lee Goldberg, and my two older sisters, Karen Dinino and Linda Woods, who often collaborate – all became authors. We are separated by nine years, oldest to youngest, yet we managed to end up in the same place, at least metaphorically speaking.

My brother was first. His debut novel, .357 Vigilante, a slim men’s action adventure written under the absurd pen-name Ian Ludlow, was released in 1985 after he got a book deal through his writing teacher at UCLA. I would follow fifteen years later with my first novel and then my sisters, writing as a team, published their first book in 2006. Combined, we’ve published 50 books, hundreds of short stories, essays and features and, in my brother Lee’s case, written or produced 26 different television shows.

[...]We had a difficult childhood, all of us: our mother was dying for most of our lives, the victim of both lupus and cancer, though she’d actually live for 73 years, but that specter hung over us, along with her propensity towards madness. And our father was simply gone, long before he was actually gone. We each escaped into words from an early age. That’s the sad truth that lives under the happy result. The “how” is easily revealed: we enjoyed the escape so much that it became our physical world.

For more, check out the article. You'll know more about us afterwards than you'd ever want to.

 (Pictured: l-r Linda Woods, Lee Goldberg, Maddie Goldberg, Valerie Goldberg, Tod Goldberg, Wendy Goldberg, Karen Dinino, and Jan Curran)

Fatal Beauty

My Uncle Burl Barer's latest true crime book, FATAL BEAUTY, explores yet another bizarre and compelling homicide with a cast of outrageous characters straight out of an Elmore Leonard novel:

Jimmy Joste was a powerhouse in the oil and gas industry, but he was a weakling when it came to his gorgeous, athletic, longtime lover, Rhonda Glover. Addicted to her sexual prowess and madly in love, Joste gave her homes, cars, cash, and a $350,000 engagement ring. Their fifteen years of passion and excess ended the day Rhonda drove directly from a shooting range to the Austin home they once shared. After pumping ten bullets into him from a Glock 9mm, she stood over Joste's blood-splattered body and shot him six more times - twice below the waist..

How can you resist reading more? Uncle Burl is already getting rave reviews from the crime writing community, including this one from Kevin Sullivan, author of THE BUNDY MURDERS.

Anyone familiar with Burl Barer, understands what they're getting in a book written by him long before they turn that first page: In-depth research, exceedingly revealing interviews, and straight-forward answers as to what exactly occurred in each case. And with FATAL BEAUTY he does just that. It's a quick paced narrative that keeps one on the edge of their seat, and sparks that unmistakable feeling that it's all happening right before their eyes. I highly recommend FATAL BEAUTY for anyone who wants to know what a body can do when a mind is in turmoil.

And he got a rave from the True Crime Book Review blog.  They say, in part:

While the book may be more focused on how to prosecute (or not) a person suffering obvious mental disorders, it’s very interesting. Also mind-boggling, so don’t expect to read it in a couple of days – give yourself time to savor each chapter like a fine wine

If you like colorful and unusual tales of true crime, this book is for you.

Mom with Celebs

I spent Thanksgiving day sorting through boxes of my Mom's photos, figuring out which ones we wanted to keep and have digitized. It was actually a great way to spend the day. There was a lot of laughter and good memories. 

My Mom was a newspaper "society editor," which is a fancy way of saying that she got paid to go to parties and write about them. It was the perfect job for her. So we came across quite a few pictures of her with celebrities over the years. Here's a very small sampling.

My Brothers Are Selling TV Shows

Carl Beverly and Sarah Timberman, the producers of JUSTIFIED, have sold a TV series pilot to FX based on my brother Tod Goldberg's short story Mitzvah. Crime writer Joel Goldman is often mistaken for my brother, so I suppose it's only fitting that those same producers just sold CBS a TV series pilot based on Joel's short story Knife Fight. Now if either pilot goes to series, I am expecting my brothers to play the nepotism card and insist that I be brought on staff.

 

Jan Remembered

I am just catching up on all the comments, tributes and blog posts about my mother Jan Curran, who died last week.  Desert Sun reporter Bruce Fessier, who wrote my mother's obituary, also wrote this touching blog post:

Jan Curran, my dear friend and an enormously popular society editor for The Desert Sun and Palm Springs Life in the 1980s and ''90s, died Tuesday night at her “active senior living” home in Calabasas. Her four adult kids were at her bedside.

She survived Lupus for more than 35 years and was given so many terminal diagnoses for cancer, we stopped believing she was mortal.

Late last year, they ran out of chemotherapy drugs to give her. She had used everything they had to offer and grown immune to each and every one. But she not only survived with a smile on her face, she published a novel after she was supposed to have been dead.

It was based on her life after being forced to move from La Quinta to be closer to her daughters and eldest son. It was called “Active Senior Living.”

I have the unpleasant task of writing an obituary about this woman who made society writing an art form.

In many ways, I like this post even more than the obituary that he wrote for her.  My cousin Danny Barer shared some thoughts about my Mom on his blog. He wrote, in part:

I've been watching the Japanese animated series "Tegami Bachi," in which one of the underlying conceits is that a person's humanity, or "heart," is a quantifiable and finite energy, and that letters or other writings are like batteries that store within them the "heart" of the person who writes them -- an energy into which the reader taps. Jan undoubtedly poured a lot of her heart into her writings. And her writings remain -- on her blog, in her Facebook posts, in the two books she wrote, and in her children's writings. The ability to preserve the energy of humanity through writing is one that should never be taken lightly. It allows portions wonderful people like Jan to remain after they themselves have left us.

Mom's old friend Ann Erdman blogged about her as well. She remembered Mom's campaign to make sure chemotherapy patients had plenty to read as they underwent treatment:

Aside from the obvious, one of the things that annoyed Jan about chemotherapy treatments was the lack of enough current magazines and books to go around. So she began taking her own magazines to the hospital to share with fellow chemotherapy patients, and the Jan Curran Fan Club was born.

A few years ago I headed to the desert for the inaugural gathering of the Jan Curran Fan Club. I stayed at her house (she lived in La Quinta then) and we drove to the Palm Springs Tennis Club for a wonderful luncheon where 50 or 60 people gathered in an outdoor pavilion. Magazines and paperbacks were everybody's ticket in. It was a long but productive day, and Jan was exhausted by the time we got back to La Quinta. We had a fun yet low-key slumber party, just the two of us, and lingered over breakfast and a long visit the next morning.

Everyone who was there that day took a vow to donate magazines and paperbacks to chemotherapy units, and the word spread to as far away as England and Germany.

Recently Mike Barer established a Facebook page for the Jan Curran Fan Club. How about joining it in Jan's memory?

My Mom's cousin David Zarkin blogged about her, too. He said, in part:

More than a cousin, she was my friend. She was an amazing journalist and storyteller with a great sense of humor. She will be well remembered by many wonderful people in Palm Springs where she has supportive friends and was a reporter with the Sun for many years. Jan could count among her friends the late President Ford, Sonny Bono, Artie Shaw and the actor Mel Ferrer. The collection of photos in her home of fabulous people she knew in her Palm Springs life is fresh in my memory.

Some of the most touching and moving comments about my Mom came from complete strangers...people who got to know her through her book, "Active Senior Living." Here are the ones that I shared in my eulogy. K . Jacobson said:

After reading your mom's book, she and I exchanged several emails and I treasure them. She changed my life and my attitude towards senior living and the obstacles that I faced. I can only imagine what it would have been like to know her in person. Please share that my thoughts and prayers will be with the family and her friends.

Elaine Benizzi said:

Lee, your Mom's book "Active Senior Living", was read by me during a unsettling time in my life and gave me great hope for my husbands health. I was prompted to write her a note which she responded to so gracefully. I am truly sorry for your loss, she was a kind and wonderful woman.

Sheri Bell said:

Oh, Lee, I am heartbroken to hear this news. Your mother's book was the very first book I purchased and read on my Kindle. As others have mentioned, we feel almost as if we knew your mother through her writing... and as such, she (and her marvelous sense of humor) will be sorely missed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time of loss and sadness. May your mother's courage, sense of humor and enduring spirit live on through the writing -- and the intimate part of her life -- that she shared with us all.

Irene Shaw said:

I'm crying as I write this, because I felt as I know many people did, that I knew Jan. Her book was the first download on my new Kindle back in February. I so wish I could have met her. She fought the damn big C for so long, with such grace and humor. RIP, girl! And prayers for you and your family, Lee.

These are just a few of the hundreds of comments, emails and condolences that me, my brother Tod, and my sisters Linda and Karen have received over the last week. We have shared and read them all. On behalf of my family, I want to thank you for your kind words and good wishes. They have meant a lot to us.

Jan Curran

My mother, Jan Curran, passed away on Monday night with her family at her side. Those of you who have read my blog for some time know she was an out-going, funny, and very talented woman and, like me and siblings, was a writer. She had been ill for some time and moved to Ventura to be closer to her family. She wrote about her new life in an active senior living home in a funny and touching self-published book entitled "Active Senior Living." The incredibly enthusiastic and warm response that she got from hundreds of readers all over the country gave her enormous comfort and joy over the last year. Bruce Fessier wrote a great obituary for my mother for the Palm Springs Desert Sun, the newspaper where she worked. Here it is.

Jan Curran, a popular society editor and features writer for The Desert Sun and Palm Springs Life, died Monday night at her assisted living home in Ventura — almost 35 years after being told she had six months to live.

Curran, 73, contracted lupus when she was a single mother of four kids working at the Contra Costa Times in the East Bay. Her youngest son, Tod Goldberg of La Quinta, said the family created a contingency plan for her death and “There was the very real sense that somebody would take us away.”

Curran had battled different types of cancer since 1995. But she also wrote two books and lived to see all of her children become published authors.

Her physician, Dr. Joel Hirschberg, said, “No matter what happened to her medically, she just had the most wonderful attitude.

“She had an illness that potentially could have been very severe and disabling, yet you would never know to look at her that she had any problems,” he said. “She would just smile and look at everybody else around her and just decide that her problems were very manageable compared to the rest of those out there.”

“I think she was the funniest, bravest person I ever knew,” added society journalist Gloria Greer. “Such great humor, and she was sick for so long.”

Curran, who covered society events for the Contra Costa Times and Oakland Tribune in the 1970s, joined the Jones Agency as an advertising executive in 1985 and soon began covering events for Palm Springs Life magazine.

She was The Desert Sun's society editor from 1988 to 1996, following Allene Arthur. She was the newspaper's last full-time society editor, but covered the rapid growth of social activities in country clubs and fundraising events as the desert population grew east from Palm Springs.

“There was a time that Jan knew everybody,” said Hirschberg, who was active in the Arthritis Foundation's Coachella Valley chapter.

“There wasn't a social event that would actually go on without her being involved in it. And she always brought bright sunshine to the room.”

Current director of society coverage for The Desert Sun Betty Francis said Curran brought her own humor and glamour to the position.

“I thought Allene was the most fair and balanced and kind society (editor) we ever had,” she said. “Jan came along with a little more edge and glamour and was pretty enough and well dressed enough to compete with the various celebrities she was interviewing. Looking at the big picture of society, she brought more glamour.”

Funeral services in her native Walla Walla, Wash., are pending. Goldberg also said a memorial will probably be held in the Coachella Valley.

Besides Goldberg, she is survived by her brothers Stanley Barer of Seattle and Burl Barer of Stevenson Ranch; son Lee Goldberg of Calabasas; daughters Karen Dinino of Thousand Oaks and Linda Woods of Castaic; and three grandchildren.

 

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

My brother Tod, Bill Rabkin, and I had a terrific time signing our new books today at Mysteries To Die For in Thousand Oaks and, as pictured here, at the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood.  Signed copies are still available at both stores if you want to snag one.

Tomorrow Tod and I are signing at 1 pm at Mystery Ink in Huntington Beach, CA.

 

Cover Comparison

Which cover do you like better for my Mom's Kindle ebook Active Senior Living. Do you prefer the current one:

Or this new one?

Or should we start from scratch?

UPDATE 5/1/10:  We listened. We scrapped the new one and stuck with the old one. So what do you think of this one? Does it capture the humor and the heart?

  

Sexually Active Senior Living

Who knew that retirement homes were a great place to pick up chicks? My Mom reveals the sordid truth in this short excerpt from her sequel-in-progress to  Active Senior Living, her fictionalized memoir:

I was sitting in the lobby lounge with my buddy Larry, just passing the time of day before we went in to dinner when Dale came over and sat down on my other side and began talking to me.

"Do you like movies?" he asked.

" Yes, " I said.

Dale was all smiles. " You know, they show a movie here every night upstairs in the media room. I could come to your apartment and get you and we could go together. How about if we do that tonight?"

" No thank you," I said.

" It's an hour before dinner. Let's go to the park. I still drive and my car is out in front. Come on," he said , reaching for my arm.

I pulled my arm away and said, " No, thank you, I don't want to go to the park."

Dale leaned in closer, as if he had a secret to tell me.  " Do you have a DVD player?"

" Yes, why?"

" I have a lot of movies. I could bring one to your apartment tonight. It's more fun if you watch a DVD with someone else. What time should I come over?"

" I'm not interested in watching a DVD with you," I said, leaning away from him.

" Well, then," he said, all smiles again, " Let's just go to the park together. They have benches and we could sit together and just enjoy the sunshine."

" My answer is still no," I said , hoping my tone showed that I had enough of his asking me to do something with him.

"What's your apartment number?" he asked. " I'll just come over tonight and we can visit or watch t.v. together."

"I'm not giving you my apartment number," I said , " I don't want you to come over so get that idea out of your head."

Larry who had been sitting quietly and listening to all this began to laugh. Dale looked at him, as if noticing him for the first time.

" And who are you?" Dale asked.

" I'm Larry and I don't want to watch a DVD with you, or go to a movie, or sit together to watch t.v. and don't ask me to go to the park, either."

Well, I burst out laughing at Larry's response to Dale.  Dale, on the other hand, didn't find it funny and stood up, putting his hand on my shoulder. " If you change your mind and you want to get together after dinner just give me a call. I'm in apartment 104."

And with that parting request he left the lounge area.

" I think you made a conquest, " Larry said.

We were still laughing as we headed in to dinner.

Do Fish Have Loins?

My Mom writes on her Active Senior Living blog about a marketing event at the senior living facility where she set her book:

It's so damn dumb. It's a senior prom and there are women downstairs dressed like they are preparing to walk down the aisle as the grandmother of the bride. Lots of pastel shaded lace suits and dresses. I almost got the giggles looking at them. All the furniture is out of the lobby and replaced with cocktail tables and it is decorated like New Year's Eve.. a five piece " orchestra" will play for dancing. The dance started at 5:30 an goes until 8 so we were all told we had to eat dinner at 4:00 and by 3:30 the dining room was full of people, me included. I wasn't even hungry which was good cus dinner was loin of cod. Do fish have loins? I ordered sausage and eggs, ate that and got the hell out before the public began arriving to wine and dine and dance with free champagne and bite size goodies like meat balls, which Jay said were probably better than our dinner. Ah ,the joys of this lifestyle! Guess I can always write about that for the sequel to Active Senior Living.

UPDATE: My Mom blogged about the post-cod loins menu and I laughed so hard that I hard to share it with you:

After baked loin of cod as our menu choice last night ... and who ever knew cod had loins, I expected tonight's choice to be roasted leg of Rainbow Trout. Our chef is very creative and not always in a good way. His seasoning of choice is always jalapeno and gravy is on everything. Same gravy, no matter was the entree is. I've gotten used to eating cold mashed potatoes, over cooked beef and chicken that is less than tender but the good news is I haven't lost any weight. Maybe that is because I do the feeding tube for breakfast and most days for lunch , too, and that gives me some good calories. When we are served a meal that is less than desirable I am reminded of what my friend Ed told me ( and I put in the book Active Senior Living) and that was that he figured the food budget per resident was about $7 a day. " it's like Boy Scout camp," he had said, " only here we have indoor plumbing." I've talked to residents at other active senior complexes and it is the same story everywhere.. not just here and not just in California. The food tends to be the least most attractive thing about the place. But , as my friend Betsy says, " we didn't have to go get the groceries, cook the meal, clear the table or do the dishes. They can cook it any way they want and it's fine with me!"

You Go, Girl!

 My Mom, Jan Curran, is thrilled about the tremendous reader response that her memoir Active Senior Living has been getting on Amazon, the Kindle Discussion forums, and on the Kindleboard. Here are just a few examples. G Murphy writes:

This is such a heartwarming story. It helps to take the scaryness out of an independant living home. So many seniors have false impressions of the senior homes and negative ideas of living in one. This just confirms to me that having social contacts and friends as you age is so important to a person's well being. The friendships shared in this home give each resident a purpose in life and make living fun. I am 67 and have visited a senior living home in our area as a volunteer. I can so relate to the story in this book as see these people living in the residence in my town. I have told my family for years that this is the kind of place I want to live when I can no longer live alone. Friends and a sense of being needed and loved are such an important part of ones wellbeing. Jan has made us feel like we know each and everyone of these people. I look forward to another book continuing the experiences she is having. I found this book on the Kindle forum page. Good luck to you Jan. I feel I know you.

Lesley Suddard wrote:

I found myself laughing and crying with Jan, reliving her experiences moving in and settling into life at an "Active Senior Living Community", her encounters with the other "inmates", and the sweetness of the interactions with the residents there as they developed bonding friendships. Not only is this an entertaining read, but it is also an enlightening one. With my parents approaching the age where either an independent senior living facility or an assisted one may soon be required, the insights into the advantages and the pitfalls of these facilities provide kind of a guidepost for what to look for when evaluating various alternatives.

Cathy B wrote:

I bought this book for my Kindle yesterday afternoon and stayed up reading until I'd finished it. By the time I was done I felt like I knew all the people Jan met during her stay in assisted living and was as attached to them as she obviously is (and they to her). I am hoping that one day soon she will write a follow-up book so I can find out how all of "my" new friends are doing. After reading this book, I realized that even at 80 or 90 life is what you make of it. Like any other time of life, there are joys and sorrows, smiles and tears. AND there are "kooks" in every age group, LOL. Please, Jan, don't make me wait too long for an update. And give "Ed" and the others a hug from me.

Molly Cook wrote:

You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll recognize human nature no matter how old you are, but if you're over 65, you'll probably recognize yourself and one or more of your friends. Jan is a wonderful writer who can make you laugh and shed tears in the same paragraph. Her personal account of life at "the Inn" and her courage in the face of mounting challenges show us she is the Energizer Bunny of writers. You'll be glad you met Jan Curran!

Kari Johnson writes:

Rarely do I laugh out loud while reading a book. Maybe while at home, but certainly not while reading in public. Today, I'm sure the patrons at the restaurant I lunched at thought I was nuts. Maybe it was reading about Mr. Jones and Carol Channing. Maybe because I can remember so clearly when my grandparents lived in one of these places at all the women swarmed around my very married grandfather, begging him to play the piano and sing with them. It brought back many of my own memories of hanging out with them at their facility. I cannot wait to share this book with my parents. And siblings. And children someday.

Congratulations Mom on touching so many lives with your book!

Mom On the Kindle

 My Mom Jan Curran's self-published memoir ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING is now available on the Kindle and is already doing gangbusters business.  Today it was ranked #2200 in sales,  #1 in Gerontology, #4 in Aging, and #4 in Self-Help/Happiness. Not bad for just two days and no PR! Way to go, Mom! 

Don't Forget Your Dentures

Here's an excerpt from my mom Jan Curran's memoir ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING. It's the list of "house rules" for the dining room at her Active Senior Living facility:

1. No sleeping in the dining room.

2. Please use tissues rather than the cloth napkins for blowing your nose.

3. No baseball caps or other head gear in the dining room.

4. Women should not dine with rollers in their hair.

5. No bare feet.

6. No pajamas, nightgowns or robes in the dining room.

7. No wine service with breakfast.

8. Motorized scooters in designated areas only.

9. Wait staff will not be responsible for partials or dentures left on dining tables.

10. Wait staff will not be responsible for hearing aids left on dining tables.

11. Second helpings on dessert only.

Oddly enough, those are the same rules they have at the CBS commissary.

Active Senior Living

My mom Jan Curran's "fictionalized memoir" ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING is now available for purchase as a trade paperback or in a download version. Here's the cover copy:

Jan Curran, a vivacious socialite and newspaper reporter, reluctantly moves into an Active Senior Living complex to recuperate from a brutal battle with cancer. She tackles the surprises and challenges of her new life with warmth, wit, and courage, meeting a colorful cast of unforgettable characters in an often hilarious yet profoundly moving story of friendship and hope.

It's the perfect book for anyone you know who is dealing with cancer...or is facing the daunting prospect of moving into a retirement home after a life on their own.

The book will soon be available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can find out more at the Active Senior Living blog and at Jan Curran's Facebook Fan page.

The Los Angeles Times Loves My Brother

The Sunday Los Angeles Times Book Review gave my brother Tod an early Christmas present today. Their rave review for his short story collection OTHER RESORTS CITIES is already up on their website. Here's an excerpt: 

Goldberg, whose previous books include the novel "Living Dead Girl," a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, and the story collection "Simplify," is a master of presenting the dark matter of the human psyche in beguiling, sometimes fantastic, inventive ways. This collection gleefully introduces uninitiated readers into Goldberg's richly comic voice and his continued preoccupation with our potential for violence and self-deception.[...] The restraint, lyricism and deceptive simplicity of the story's architecture astounds with its heart-rending resonance. What Goldberg taps into most beautifully is the impulse to retreat from the chaotic complexity of the world, the ubiquitous temptation to inhabit the pristine model-home lives of our dreams.

Is there another Los Angeles Times Book Prize nomination in Tod's future? I wouldn't be surprised.

Where To Find the Oldest Magazines on Earth

 It' s not unusual to see magazines that are a year or two old in the waiting room at the doctor's office. But that's nothing compared to what Alan Barer found in the waiting room at Eisenhower Medical Center in Palm Springs:

On the low table was a copy of the magazine, Palm Springs Life.

Flipping through I glanced at the obligatory page of the movers and shakers at a charity costume gathering. There dressed in western garb with toy six-guns at her sides was cousin Jan.Knowing that Jan had moved from the valley a few years ago, I checked the date.

Unbelievably, the magazine was over twenty years old.

The woman he is referring to, by the way, is my Mom, Jan Curran.

The Ladies Room

 My super-talented and creative sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, authors of the wildly acclaimed, bestselling VISUAL CHRONICLES and JOURNAL REVOLUTION, have just published a new art book, which is sure to please their droves of devoted fans, who seem to idolize "the seesters" (sadly, the brothers, Tod and myself, have no such following). 

The book is called Meeting In The Ladies Room: Reflections Of Women In A Room Of Their Own and its a collaboration of photos and essays by a wide variety of creative women, including Rosie O'Donnell, Jann Arden, Amanda Palmer, Jen Foser and SHeDAISY. Here's the scoop:

What do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you think about when you are alone? What's the best ladies room you've ever been in? Whether you are an idolized celebrity or a struggling single mother, the ladies room is where you create your make believe, and where you face your reality. Join 68 brave women from around the world for an empowering look in the mirror and a meeting in the ladies room.

My sisters' fearless, humorous, no-rules approach to life and art has been featured on THE VIEW, in  magazines and newspapers nationwide, in other people's art books, and at every single one of our family gatherings. They don't go anywhere without their cameras around their necks...not even to go take a pee, as this gorgeous and remarkable book proves.   

The publisher is offering a special $10 discount off the cover price until December 31st. To get the savings, enter the code below at check-out.

Orders from the US (using US $):   GREATGIFT
Orders from UK (using UK £):   GREATGIFT2
Orders from EU (using EU €):   GREATGIFT3
Orders from AU (using AUD $):   GREATGIFT4

Be sure to check out the book preview!

Capture The Saint

Burl Barer's CAPTURE THE SAINT, the first all new adventure of the famous Simon Templar since 1983's SALVAGE FOR THE SAINT, is finally available in a Kindle edition. The novel, approved by the Leslie Charteris estate, finds the Robin Hood of Modern Crime pursuing dangerous criminals and beautiful women with equal passion.

Sparkling wit, grand adventure, high style -- Burl Barer's CAPTURE THE SAINT brings back Simon Templar in all his glory.

My Brother's Bookgasm

Bookgasm's Bruce Grossman gave my brother Tod's new book OTHER RESORT CITIES a rave review today. Here's an excerpt:

The people who populate these stories could totally exist in our society and probably some do. They are just like you and me, but with some truly twisted backstories. Some of these stories could be expanded into even further lengths. While I’d love to read more about these people, I definitely would not want to hang out with most of them. OTHER RESORT CITIES is an eye-opening look at life in today’s society, never sugarcoating its harsh reality

Editorial Guidance

My Uncle Burl Barer is an Edgar-award-winning author of a dozen books but that doesn't make the job of writing any easier...in fact, he's having some trouble with is current project.

There is something not right about my current book in progress, and it is driving me crazy. [...] So far, at the request of my editor, I've done a complete restructuring of the book, and still it doesn't "sing." Tomorrow I'm calling "headquarters" - the executive editor -- and consulting on what I need to do to make this baby at least hum.

Thankfully, Burl has something most self-published authors do not... an experienced editor provided by the publisher at no charge to him.

Editors are the inspired clergy of the literature religion. They comfort, admonish and encourage. They bring out the diamond potential in our prolix lumps of coal. I am blessed with the editors at Kensington Publishing, headed by the resilient and insightful Michaela Hamilton. Mike Shol is currently editing the manuscript of Fatal Beauty, and it is all coming together. Whew. I pity authors who don't have the blessing of a world-class editor. I've been very lucky. My first book, THE SAINT: A Complete History was edited by Steve Wilson at McFarland & Co. I doubt I would have snagged the Edgar were it not for his guidance. One of the tragedies of self-published (ie self-printed) books is often the lack of editorial guidance, not to mention the lack of sales.

Sadly, many "self-published" authors have gone the vanity press route because they believe their work is perfect "as-is" and reject any suggestion that their book may be flawed in some way (which is one reason why the self-publishing companies are known as "vanity presses"). These aspiring authors don't recognize the importance of editing and rewriting, of having an experienced, and objective, outside perspective on their work. All they are interested in is seeing their book "in print" as quickly as possible without having to "jump through all those hoops" or letting anyone meddle with their "artistic vision." And that's why so much of what is self-published out there is unreadable slop.

My Sisters' Exciting New Project

My sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino are close to finishing up their third art book, one that is likely to be even more successful than their bestselling VISUAL CHRONICLES and JOURNAL REVOLUTION. It includes art by Jann Arden, Amanda Palmer, Rosie O'Donnell, Jen Foster, Sarah Bettens, SHeDAISY, Marnie Woodrow and more. Here's a peek.

You Can Be a Kindle Millionaire, Part 7

Can you tell a book by its cover?

The original, St. Martin's Press cover for my 1997 novel BEYOND THE BEYOND was horrible. It was a giant penis bursting out of a TV set against a piss-yellow background. I'm not kidding. You can see it here. I know for a fact that it killed sales. I was sent on a national book tour and everywhere I went, the booksellers said "we can't stick that book in our window, there's a penis on the cover!"

So when I did the Kindle edition, I asked my talented and wildly creative sister Linda Woods, a professional artist and author (Journal Revolution: Rise Up & Create! Art Journals, Personal Manifestos and Other Artistic Insurrections), to design a new cover in the same style as the one she designed for the Kindle edition of my first book, My Gun Has Bullets (which also had a horrible St. Martin's cover when it was first published). BEYOND THE BEYOND is a sequel to MY GUN HAS BULLETS, so I thought some consistency was a good idea. Isn't that what branding is all about?

But while the Kindle sales for MY GUN HAS BULLETS have been brisk, the sales for Beyond the Beyond are flat. The culprit? I think it was the cover...again. It mayhave looked too much like the cover for My Gun Has Bullets and might have been confusing people into thinking it was the same book. 

So Linda has tweaked the cover for me. It's the one on the right. It will be interesting to see if a new cover makes a difference... 

Then again, maybe it's the book that sucks!

My Gun Has Bullets

My acclaimed, long out-of-print debut novel MY GUN HAS BULLETS is now available on the Kindle with a terrific new cover by my sister Linda Woods (I wish the book had this cover when it first came out). And this new edition wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for Dan Williams, who volunteered to scan the book...and he even cleaned up the formatting problems. Thank you, Dan!

Here's the book-jacket copy (which hasn't shown up yet on the Amazon listing):

The Mob is bringing its style of doing business to television. They don't cancel TV series. They kill them.

When Beverly Hills Police Officer Charlie Willis pulls over a speeding Rolls Royce hell-bent for Neiman Marcus, he’s surprised to see Esther Radcliffe, the geriatric star of the TV series "Miss Agatha," behind the wheel. He’s even more surprised when she guns him down and keeps on driving. A few hours later, he wakes up in the intensive care unit…to find a William Morris agent, a network president, and the head of Pinnacle Studios standing at the foot of his bed. They have a proposal for him: in exchange for conveniently forgetting who shot him, they’ll make him the star of his own series, "My Gun Has Bullets." So Charlie trades in his real badge for a fake one…and so begins an uproarious but deadly romp through the wonderful world of TV make-believe…with real bullets. To make it to sweeps week, Charlie will have to survive two homicidal stuntmen, a rabid celebrity dog, a hit man-turned-producer, a psychotic old lady, a sex-crazed blackmailer, and vicious ratings…with only a stunning, leather-clad "Baywatch" beauty to help him. 

“It will make you cackle like a sitcom laugh track. Goldberg keeps the gags coming right up to the end.”—Entertainment Weekly 

"It's Bullets Over Baywatch!" USA Today “A very funny novel…a pinch of Carl Hiaasen, a dash of Donald Westlake, and a heaping portion of avarice and inanity Hollywood Style. It’s boffo!”—Thomas Gaughan, Booklist

 "'My Gun Has Bullets' takes aim and hits the bull's eye of all good satire -- the truth," Howard Gordon, Executive Producer, "24"

"Lee Goldberg has written a winner!" —Stephen J. Cannell, executive producer/creator "The A-Team," "21 Jump Street," and "The Rockford Files."

"'My Gun Has Bullets' has an outrageous, laugh-til-you're-sick scene seemingly on every other page." —Dan Petrie Jr. Oscar-nominated screenwriter of "Beverly Hills Cop" 

“A rousing send-up of everything and everyone in the world of show-biz.”—Judith Kreiner, The Washington Times 

"Hilarious, suspenseful, action-packed...its band of merry, and not so merry, homicidal maniacs may be the greatest cast ever assembled," Warren Murphy, Edgar Award winning author/creator of the "Remo Williams: Destroyer" series

"The giddiest debut of the year!" Kirkus Reviews

Uncle Burl Barers All

Carl Brookins recently interviewed my Uncle Burl Barer, the Edgar Award-winning author of such true crime bestsellers as MOM SAID KILL and MURDER IN THE FAMILY. It's a fun interview. Here are some excerpts: 

What’s the hardest thing about being an author? Making money.

What surprised you the most when you became a published author?

I was surprised that authors don't have groupies such as the ones who pursue rock stars and famous actors, or even disc jockeys. Never be an author to pick up chicks.

Have you ever collaborated on a novel? Would you consider it?

Yes, I collaborated on a novel (unpublished) with someone who wasn't a writer. I would love to collaborate with someone who is a writer. I did contribute to one of Lee Goldberg's pulp fiction novels that he wrote under an assumed name. I helped him with one of the sex scenes. He was, at that time, not as experienced with that topic as he has since, no doubt, become. When his Nana complained that the book was nothing but sex and violence, Lee wisely shifted the blame to my brother and me. My brother deflected criticism by insisting that he only helped Lee with the legal/courtroom scenes. When Mom called me, she asked How could you pervert your little nephew that way? I told her Mom, I only helped him write one sex scene, honest! She replied, It was the one with the ice-cream wasn't it? She was right. It was.

Mysterical-E is Tied In

Gerald So's column at Mysterical-E today is an appreciation of media tie-ins. He writes, in part:

A common misconception is that tie-ins are poorly or quickly written, and while some have seemed that way to me, as my reading tastes have matured, I've been able to choose better-written material. What makes me personally pick up a tie-in novel or comic book these days? The author has to have some experience writing for the original medium and the new one, as Monk novelist Lee Goldberg has with USA Network's Monk. Because Goldberg has written for the show, and because he is a novelist in his own right, he's well suited to bring Monk to the page.

[...]In some ways, tie-in writing is more difficult than creating characters and a story from scratch. Tie-in writers have to deliver the best of both worlds: what the existing fan base enjoys about the original concept and what the new fan base expects from the new concept. For example, Tod Goldberg's first tie-in, Burn Notice: The Fix delivered the wry spycraft from the TV show but also delivered an intricate plot better suited to a novel than to TV's usual 44 minutes.

Thanks, Gerald!

My Quotable Family

Coming from a family chock full of writers and journalists means we all know how to give a good quote to a reporter. My Uncle Stan Barer, a University of Washington regent, was asked by the Seattle Post Intelligencer to comment on the severe funding cutbacks the university is facing from the state.

"We take better care of our prisoners than of our students," UW Regent Stanley Barer said Thursday. "Maybe we ought to have prisoners stay here at night so that we can get the money."

Dreams Coming True

Illustrating Stories has posted an interview with my sister Linda Woods, who shares a frequent lament I hear from writers...

"The challenge for me is balancing the business side of my career with the creative side. There doesn't seem to be enough time to ever get caught up!" 

On the other hand, like many writers I know, she also talks about how lucky she is to be doing what she loves.

"I'm really fortunate that a lot of my creative dreams have come true already. There have been many moments in my career when I have thought OK, I CAN DIE NOW! "

That has been so true for me and for my brother Tod, with whom I've enjoyed many of those "dream come true moments"  chatting together with one of our literary idols. I'm so glad that it's happening for Linda, too.

Lee Says Buy

My Uncle Burl's latest true crime book MOM SAID KILL comes out on Oct. 7th and is available for pre-order. Lee says buy.

Who Is The Short Bald Stranger There, Maverick is the Name...?

John McCain's claim of being "the original Maverick" prompted Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mark Brown to recall fond memories of the TV series MAVERICK...and to seek out the sage advice of my Uncle Burl Barer, the author of THE MAKING OF MAVERICK :

I mentioned to Barer how McCain was using "The Original Maverick" as a campaign slogan, causing my initial confusion with Garner having played, Bret, the first Maverick, which I cleared up when I remembered his brother Bart, the other Maverick.

"Yes, you mean Jack Kelly," Barer said.

Jack Kelly?

"Jack Kelly played Bart Maverick," Barer said.

It wasn't John McCain?

"No."

Then which of the Maverick brothers did McCain play?

[...] he patiently explained that at various times Maverick starred Garner as Bret, Kelly as Bart, Roger Moore as Beau and Robert Colbert as Brent -- the poker-playing Maverick brothers. But never McCain.

"It wasn't, 'Who was the short bald stranger there?' " Barer said, playing off the opening stanza from the theme song about a tall, dark stranger.

MAVERICK was a great show back in the 1950s and holds the unusual distinction of being the only vintage TV series revived three times on three networks in three years...ABC's THE NEW MAVERICK, CBS' YOUNG MAVERICK, and NBC's BRET MAVERICK...all in the early 1980s.

My Uncle Does a Very Good Thing

The Puget Sound Business Journal reports that my Uncle and Aunt, Stan & Alta Barer, have just made a generous donation to the University of Washington to establish The Barer Institute for Law & Global Human Services:

University of Washington Regent Stanley Barer and his wife, Alta, have pledged $4 million to the UW's School of Law to establish an institute to improve human services around the world.

The Barer Institute for Law and Global Human Services aims to use binding legal agreements, such as compacts, treaties and foreign aid agreements, to coordinate efforts to address social problems.

Lives saved will be the institute's measure of success, said Stanley Barer, an owner of Seattle's Saltchuk Resources Inc., a marine transportation company. The institute will focus primarily on poor areas that lack education, health services and economic opportunities, he said.

"I think it is now in our best interests to think about safety nets globally," said Barer, who is also the chair of the UW's Board of Regents.

I think my Mom and my Uncle Burl may try to convince my Uncle Stan that a contribution to them would also enhance global safety. As for me, Saltchuk just snapped up the cargo operation of the now-defunct Aloha Airlines, so I think I'm going to ask Uncle Stan if we can send ourselves to Hawaii as freight this summer.

Joking aside, I think my late grandfather David Barer, who immigrated to this country as a child from a village in Russia and sold scrap metal in Walla Walla, would be so proud that his son was able to do this...I know I am.

We Are Family

The Goldberg siblings were out in force signing our latest books at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Tod and I were signing at the Mystery Bookstore while my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino were over at the Borders booth. As usual, women threw their underwear at Tod and me while my sisters were deluged with cakes made by their fans. The cool Goldberg kids are wearing shades. Afterwards, Tod  hid out from Dr. Laura, who has been emailing him since he besmirched her on his blog, while my sisters were busy stalking Julie Andrews, who was taking the necessary precautions. I took the high road and had a cheeseburger with my daughter.

My Sistahs

My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods, authors of the bestselling books VISUAL CHRONICLES and JOURNAL REVOLUTION, can teach you to be an artist. All it takes is an ironing board, a glue stick, and a little imagination.

Join the Journal Revolution

My sister Linda and Karen's "Journal Revolution" has been selected as a Typepad Featured Blog. The blog is an outgrowth of their soon-t0-be published book of the same title, the sequel to their bestselling VISUAL CHRONICLES. Rosie O'Donnell, who had my sisters on THE VIEW, wrote the introduction. Check it out!

Journal Revolution

JOURNAL REVOLUTION, the new book by my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, is now available for pre-order on Amazon. It's the follow-up to their best-selling debut VISUAL CHRONICLES, which landed them a six minute segment on THE VIEW:

Journal enthusiasts of all levels will learn how to cut through the daily clutter in their minds to access deeper emotions, creatively express a wide range of moods and boldly record their deepest secrets. The authors' honest humor and extreme affirmation will entertain and reassure the reader as they participate in fun, easy projects such as: · Me: UNdecorated: Revel in your uncensored thoughts by using paint, ink, papers and more to convey your edgiest feelings--the `you' your parents may not know! · Save the Date: Use a calendar to create a vibrant visual journal that embraces even your seemingly mundane days. · Fauxlaroids: Journaling on Polaroids and other photos. · The Writing's on the Wall: Decorating with journaled ephemera, and creative ways to frame it.

You are Art

My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods were interviewed this week by the Santa Clarita Valley Signal. It's not The View (where they recently were guests), but every little bit helps.

Expression and individuality were coin of the realm in the universe where Dinino and Woods grew up. Their father Alan Goldberg was a newscaster for KPIX Channel 2 in Northern California and a documentary filmmaker, and their mother, Janice Curran, is a reporter for The Desert Sun in Palm Springs. Dinino was a journalist for Newsweek on Campus. Both brothers, Lee Goldberg and Tod Goldberg, are writers. "In our family, if you're not published by the time you're 40, you're kicked out," said Woods.

Lee Said Read

My Uncle Burl Barer has just landed a contract with Kensington for two more of his true crime books, the first of which has the great title MOM SAID KILL:

[It] will detail the shocking story of Barbara and Heather Opel, mother and daughter, who murdered Barbara's generous employer in front of his elderly mother, made off with his furniture and $40K from his bank account. Heather was about fourteen years old at the time, and Mom promised her a new dirt bike for helping in the murder. The kid never got the dirt bike.

You are Art

You saw it on THE VIEW...now you can own one, too. I'm talking about my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino's hot-selling I AM ART t-shirts. The shirts are doing so well that now my sisters have expanded the line to other kinds of clothes and accessories. Check it out at their store.

Scrap Tales

For some time now, Alan Barer has been sharing memories on his blog about our family and his life selling scrap metal with my grandfather Dave in Walla Walla, Washington. Although he's talking about my family and not yours, I think you'll enjoy the rememberances as much as I do...and agree that he's a natural-born storyteller.

One thing Frank did do for me was to advise me never to eat food at the home of one of our clients who lived at and operated the city dump in a small eastern Oregon town.

I arrived there late in the afternoon. The table was set with stew, milk, etc. My host invited me to join for dinner. Hungry as I was I declined. The next morning when I arrived to load, the same food was sitting on the table at room temperature. I also declined the invitation to breakfast.

A View to a Goldberg

If you missed my sisters on THE VIEW, here's your chance to see the clip:

Visual Chronicles is HOT

After their appearance on THE VIEW, my sisters' book is #32  on Amazon and #45 on B&N. That is the power of Rosie.