A Writer's Life

Who Is The Short Bald Stranger There, Maverick is the Name...?

John McCain's claim of being "the original Maverick" prompted Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mark Brown to recall fond memories of the TV series MAVERICK...and to seek out the sage advice of my Uncle Burl Barer, the author of THE MAKING OF MAVERICK :

I mentioned to Barer how McCain was using "The Original Maverick" as a campaign slogan, causing my initial confusion with Garner having played, Bret, the first Maverick, which I cleared up when I remembered his brother Bart, the other Maverick.

"Yes, you mean Jack Kelly," Barer said.

Jack Kelly?

"Jack Kelly played Bart Maverick," Barer said.

It wasn't John McCain?

"No."

Then which of the Maverick brothers did McCain play?

[...] he patiently explained that at various times Maverick starred Garner as Bret, Kelly as Bart, Roger Moore as Beau and Robert Colbert as Brent -- the poker-playing Maverick brothers. But never McCain.

"It wasn't, 'Who was the short bald stranger there?' " Barer said, playing off the opening stanza from the theme song about a tall, dark stranger.

MAVERICK was a great show back in the 1950s and holds the unusual distinction of being the only vintage TV series revived three times on three networks in three years...ABC's THE NEW MAVERICK, CBS' YOUNG MAVERICK, and NBC's BRET MAVERICK...all in the early 1980s.

My Uncle Does a Very Good Thing

The Puget Sound Business Journal reports that my Uncle and Aunt, Stan & Alta Barer, have just made a generous donation to the University of Washington to establish The Barer Institute for Law & Global Human Services:

University of Washington Regent Stanley Barer and his wife, Alta, have pledged $4 million to the UW's School of Law to establish an institute to improve human services around the world.

The Barer Institute for Law and Global Human Services aims to use binding legal agreements, such as compacts, treaties and foreign aid agreements, to coordinate efforts to address social problems.

Lives saved will be the institute's measure of success, said Stanley Barer, an owner of Seattle's Saltchuk Resources Inc., a marine transportation company. The institute will focus primarily on poor areas that lack education, health services and economic opportunities, he said.

"I think it is now in our best interests to think about safety nets globally," said Barer, who is also the chair of the UW's Board of Regents.

I think my Mom and my Uncle Burl may try to convince my Uncle Stan that a contribution to them would also enhance global safety. As for me, Saltchuk just snapped up the cargo operation of the now-defunct Aloha Airlines, so I think I'm going to ask Uncle Stan if we can send ourselves to Hawaii as freight this summer.

Joking aside, I think my late grandfather David Barer, who immigrated to this country as a child from a village in Russia and sold scrap metal in Walla Walla, would be so proud that his son was able to do this...I know I am.

We Are Family

The Goldberg siblings were out in force signing our latest books at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Tod and I were signing at the Mystery Bookstore while my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino were over at the Borders booth. As usual, women threw their underwear at Tod and me while my sisters were deluged with cakes made by their fans. The cool Goldberg kids are wearing shades. Afterwards, Tod  hid out from Dr. Laura, who has been emailing him since he besmirched her on his blog, while my sisters were busy stalking Julie Andrews, who was taking the necessary precautions. I took the high road and had a cheeseburger with my daughter.

My Sistahs

My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods, authors of the bestselling books VISUAL CHRONICLES and JOURNAL REVOLUTION, can teach you to be an artist. All it takes is an ironing board, a glue stick, and a little imagination.

Join the Journal Revolution

My sister Linda and Karen's "Journal Revolution" has been selected as a Typepad Featured Blog. The blog is an outgrowth of their soon-t0-be published book of the same title, the sequel to their bestselling VISUAL CHRONICLES. Rosie O'Donnell, who had my sisters on THE VIEW, wrote the introduction. Check it out!

Journal Revolution

JOURNAL REVOLUTION, the new book by my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, is now available for pre-order on Amazon. It's the follow-up to their best-selling debut VISUAL CHRONICLES, which landed them a six minute segment on THE VIEW:

Journal enthusiasts of all levels will learn how to cut through the daily clutter in their minds to access deeper emotions, creatively express a wide range of moods and boldly record their deepest secrets. The authors' honest humor and extreme affirmation will entertain and reassure the reader as they participate in fun, easy projects such as: · Me: UNdecorated: Revel in your uncensored thoughts by using paint, ink, papers and more to convey your edgiest feelings--the `you' your parents may not know! · Save the Date: Use a calendar to create a vibrant visual journal that embraces even your seemingly mundane days. · Fauxlaroids: Journaling on Polaroids and other photos. · The Writing's on the Wall: Decorating with journaled ephemera, and creative ways to frame it.

You are Art

My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods were interviewed this week by the Santa Clarita Valley Signal. It's not The View (where they recently were guests), but every little bit helps.

Expression and individuality were coin of the realm in the universe where Dinino and Woods grew up. Their father Alan Goldberg was a newscaster for KPIX Channel 2 in Northern California and a documentary filmmaker, and their mother, Janice Curran, is a reporter for The Desert Sun in Palm Springs. Dinino was a journalist for Newsweek on Campus. Both brothers, Lee Goldberg and Tod Goldberg, are writers. "In our family, if you're not published by the time you're 40, you're kicked out," said Woods.

Lee Said Read

My Uncle Burl Barer has just landed a contract with Kensington for two more of his true crime books, the first of which has the great title MOM SAID KILL:

[It] will detail the shocking story of Barbara and Heather Opel, mother and daughter, who murdered Barbara's generous employer in front of his elderly mother, made off with his furniture and $40K from his bank account. Heather was about fourteen years old at the time, and Mom promised her a new dirt bike for helping in the murder. The kid never got the dirt bike.

You are Art

You saw it on THE VIEW...now you can own one, too. I'm talking about my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino's hot-selling I AM ART t-shirts. The shirts are doing so well that now my sisters have expanded the line to other kinds of clothes and accessories. Check it out at their store.

Scrap Tales

For some time now, Alan Barer has been sharing memories on his blog about our family and his life selling scrap metal with my grandfather Dave in Walla Walla, Washington. Although he's talking about my family and not yours, I think you'll enjoy the rememberances as much as I do...and agree that he's a natural-born storyteller.

One thing Frank did do for me was to advise me never to eat food at the home of one of our clients who lived at and operated the city dump in a small eastern Oregon town.

I arrived there late in the afternoon. The table was set with stew, milk, etc. My host invited me to join for dinner. Hungry as I was I declined. The next morning when I arrived to load, the same food was sitting on the table at room temperature. I also declined the invitation to breakfast.

A View to a Goldberg

If you missed my sisters on THE VIEW, here's your chance to see the clip:

Visual Chronicles is HOT

After their appearance on THE VIEW, my sisters' book is #32  on Amazon and #45 on B&N. That is the power of Rosie.

Watch My Sisters on THE VIEW Tomorrow

Set your VCRs and Tivos...my sisters Karen Dinino & Linda Woods are going to be special  guests on THE VIEW tomorrow, Oct. 19th,  on ABC. They will be doing some projects from their book VISUAL CHRONICLES with Rosie and the gals.

A View to a Kill

My sisters Karen Dinino and Linda Woods are going to be on THE VIEW in early October to talk about their book VISUAL CHRONICLES.

We Ho

"We Ho" is probably an apt way to describe what we Goldberg siblings do to sell our books but, in this case, Weho refers to the West Hollywood Book Fair, which we attended last Sunday. Mark Sarvas over at the Elegant Variation took the photo on the left and writes about his favorite panels of the day. That's me, Karen, Stacy Bierlein (moderator), Tod, and Linda. You can click on the image to get a large image and see all of my chins.

The Writing Chromosome

My brother Tod, while hyping our appearance this coming Sunday at the West Hollywood Book Festival, observes:

Other than Evel and Robbie Knievel, I have to believe the family with the greatest genetic disposition toward one career must be mine. Between just the four Goldberg siblings alone, we have something like 30 books. Now, granted, Lee has written about 25 of them, but he is significantly older.

He's only scratching the surface. My mother Jan Curran was a feature writer for the Palm Springs Desert Sun (among other newspapers), my father Alan Goldberg was a TV anchorman on KPIX   (which, back in the day, actually involved some newswriting), my Uncle Burl Barer is writes true crime books (as well as the Edgar Award winning 'The Saint: A Complete History"), my cousin Sam Barer is an auto industry columnist, and my great-cousin (I'm not sure that's what he is...what would the son of my grandmother's brother-in-law be??) David Zarkin was a newspaper reporter. I know I'm leaving some writerly family members out (I think that my grandmother's brother may have written for Look magazine and know I have a distant cousin who writes for the New York Times).  And most of them...at least the ones who are still living...have blogs, many of which you can find listed on the column to the left.

So, yeah, writing is definitely in our blood. Then again, so are the furniture, pelt, and scrap metal businesses...

Dangerous if Combined

This Sunday, in a cosmic convergence of such magnitude that it could create a rip in the space-time continuum right in the center of West Hollywood, my brother Tod, my sisters Karen Dinino, Linda Woods and I will be on stage at the West Hollywood Book Festival.

All four of us are published authors and, as fate would have it, we all have new books out. We'll be offering advice about writing, publishing, and creating searingly hot erotic fiction (which none of us do, but it seems livelier than talking about what we do write, which are literary short stories, art books, and novels with 80-year-old TV actors on the cover).

In the Driver's Seat

Yet another writer in my family is blogging. Sam Barer, auto-writer extraordinaire,  launched FOUR WHEEL DRIFT with some new slogans for today's automakers. Here's a sampling from the top of the list:

Acura - Buy an Acura, your local car thief will thank you.

Aston Martin – See yourself like James Bond, even if women don’t

Audi –  Because all the people you hate drive BMWs

Bentley –  Phat cars for people with fat wallets

BMW – Even Chris Bangle and I-Drive can’t stop our cars from selling

Buick – Buy a Buick, so we don’t end up like Oldsmobile

Cadillac – Really, you don’t have to be black or Jewish to own one!

Chevrolet – The best vehicles that cost-cutting can create.

But my personal favorite comes towards the end:

Volvo – Safety: you can’t get killed in a car that’s always being serviced at the dealership

 

At Least Tod Isn't Up Against George Pelecanos Again

My brother Tod is a finalist for the Southern California Booksellers' Assocation Award for Best Fiction...a list that includes Aimee Bender (his friend since he was 11), Susan Straight, Carolyn See and the team of Jennifer Kaufman & Karen Mack.  In the mystery category, my friends T. Jefferson Parker, Paul Levine, Barbara Seranella,  Jacqueline Winspear and Denise Hamilton all snagged well-deserved nominations.

Speaking of awards, I just got word over here in the Berlin that  Tony Shalhoub snagged a third Emmy for his performance in MONK, and my friend Terry Winter snagged his second (or is it third?) Emmy for his writing on THE SOPRANOS.  Howard Gordon also copped an statuette for his amazing work running 24 this year. Congratulations one and all!

Thingies III

I'm the oldest of four children. My 11 year-old daughter suddenly realized, in the wake of her "Human Growth and Development Class," what this meant.

"Grandma had sex four times? I can't imagine even doing it once!"

Thingies II

So my 11-year-old daughter gets home from her "Human Growth and Development" class at school and has some questions about sex.

"Why does a man's thingie have to get so big?"  she asked.

"So he can get his sperm inside of  a woman and fertilize the egg," I said.

"Couldn't he just mail it to the woman so she could put it in herself?"

The Name is Barer, Burl Barer

Author Wesley Britton's terrific interview with my Uncle Burl Barer is now up on Roger Moore's official website. Britton is the author of the great book SPY TV and my Uncle Burl is the author of the Edgar Award winning THE SAINT: A COMPLETE HISTORY, CAPTURE THE SAINT, and THE SAINT movie novelization, THE MAKING OF MAVERICK, as well as a slew of true crime books.

Thingies

I drove my 11-year-old daughter to school this morning. We were just about there when she groaned.

"Oh no, I just remembered. We have 'Human Growth and Development' today. And it's right before recess!"

"So?" I said.

"Dad, I have a snack at recess."

"I don't see the problem."

"How am I supposed to eat after hearing about people putting their thingies into thingies? It's disgusting."

I don't think I need to worry any time soon about her competing with her friends to give the best blowjobs.

Lost in Space

It's been a big week for my sisters Linda Woods & Karen Dinino and their book VISUAL CHRONICLES. First, Rosie O'Donnell raved about their book on her blog (let's hope she brings a copy with her onto THE VIEW) and then my sisters made an appearance at ArtBar in Santa Ana, where they signed books with fellow artist  & author Angela Cartwright, best known as Danny Thomas' daughter on MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY and one of the Robinson clan in LOST IN SPACE. Can an appearance on THE TODAY SHOW be far behind for my celeb sisters?

Goosebumps

Today the LA Times published the program for next weekend's big Festival of Books. Borders took out an ad listing all the authors, including me, who'd be signing at their booth and it gave me a goosebumps. It wasn't seeing my name in the newspaper that gave me thrill -- it was the company I was keeping in print. Why?  Because my brother and sisters and I are  going be signing our books at the Borders booth together. That's right, all four of us -- Karen Dinino, Linda Woods, and Tod Goldberg -- have  new books out at the same time. How cool is that? If you could have told me when I was a kid that this was going to happen, I never would have believed it. All of us published authors? All of us signing our books together? Wow. I knew the event was coming, of course, but somehow seeing the ad made it real.  I'm so proud of them, you'd think they were my kids instead of my younger siblings.

Schmoozing in the Desert

Tonight I went to the author's reception for the Palm Springs  Book Festival, where I will be appearing in front of all my adoring fans (my Mom, a vagrant, my brother Tod). I had a great time catching up with old friends like Carleton Eastlake, Loraine Despres, Christopher Rice, and Gregg Hurwitz (and his lovely wife). And I made some new friends, like Eric Shaw Quinn and retired SEALS Charles O'Connor and Ross Hengebrauch. My daughter Maddie absolutely loves QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY, so when I spotted Ted Allen, I had to have my picture taken with him. Maddie was blown away. Meanwhile my Mom, Jan Curran, got up close and personal with Tab Hunter. And I've got the photos to prove it. (First photo is me with Ted Allen, the second photo is my Mom with Tab Hunter, and the third photo is me with Gregg Hurwitz, Eric Shaw Quinn, and Christopher Rice).

I Hope My Mom isn't Expecting a Mercedes For Her Birthday

My cousin Sam Barer wrote in his Olympian car column (yes, my family is full of writers) about the incredible surprise gift that he and his brother Joe gave to their father Arnie at his 70th birthday party:

Joe and I got up and roasted our father with a series of limericks. Finally, we invited Dad up to read the last one. "For all the love you've shown us and Mom, live your dreams before they're gone. We hold the keys to your heart and we just hope it starts. Enjoy your '64 Lotus Elan." I dropped the keys into our shocked father's hands and then escorted him (and our stunned mother) to the bright red, series one roadster I'd snuck into the parking lot outside...

What a great gift. Maddie, if you're reading this, you can start saving up now for my '59 Caddy convertible.

Signing Angst

My sister Linda Woods is having her first booksigning event tomorrow for VISUAL CHRONICLES (which she wrote with my sister Karen Dinino) and it's giving her nightmares:

In the first nightmare, I gave birth to a baby that projectile vomited Styrofoam. I am not sure what that has to do with the book, but it was damn scary. The second nightmare was slightly more realistic. I was trying to decide which of my 12 black jackets to wear and glanced at the clock and saw that it was 8:30 and that I was an hour and half late to my own book signing.

Welcome to being a professional author, sis!

Blatant Family Promotion

My sisters Linda Woods & Karen Dinino are celebrating the launch of their new book VISUAL CHRONICLES this Thursday night at Borders in Westwood. But that's just the beginning of their whirlwind tour of signings and workshops...
 

Our book signing events are free and you are not obiligated to buy the book at the event. If you already have it, just bring it with you. There will be a collaborative art project at the signings (you'll be able to track the progress at http://www.visualchronicles.com) as well as treats and mingling (unless you don't like to mingle in which case you can just get your book signed, grab some cake and go home). Here is our schedule:

Thursday, March 23, 2006, 7-9 P.M.
Book Signing
Borders, Westwood
1360 Westwood Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90024
Second Floor

Saturday, April 22, 2006, 3-4 P.M.
Book Signing
Stamp Your Heart Out
141 C  Harvard Ave., Claremont, CA
909-621-4363

Sunday, April 30, 2006, Time TBA
Book Signing
Borders Booth, LA Times Festival of Books
UCLA Campus

Thursday, August 17, 2006, Phoenix, AZ
I AM ART! Fearless Visual Journaling Workshop.  Visit http://www.artunraveled.com for registration information.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006, Portland, OR
I AM ART! Fearless Visual Journaling Workshop (visit http://www.artandsoulretreat.com/portland-workshop s.php for registration information)

May 2007
The Artful Journey: Mixing the Media of Art and Travel Journaling Workshop in Italy  (WOW! More info on this magical trip is coming soon.)

Bestselling Sisters

VISUAL CHRONICLES, the new journaling book by my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino, is  the #5 bestselling crafts book in the U.S, according to Bookscan. The new numbers will be out tomorrow, and we're hoping it makes it up to number one!