A Writer's Life

You Don't Get This Kind of Service at Hometown Buffet

AOL City Guide recently profiled Los Angeles caterer Gary Arabia...

Not to be missed is Arabia's Body Sushi experience. Originating from Japan, the Global Cuisine version entails a colorful array of sushi placed on  tea leaves and served on the body of a beautiful model. Patrons are  traditionally seated on the floor around her and dine directly off of her body. For dessert, indulge in the Body Chocolate.

Pot Pie Heaven

If you love chicken pot pie, as I do, I heartily recommend Claimjumpers, a chain of steak places. they make an incredible chicken pot pie and goes for a mere $10. It must be comfort food for me...because lately I have been dreaming of pot pies...

UPDATE: Several folks emailed me... saying I had to try Marie Callender's pot pie. So I went there for lunch. It's no contest, friends... Claimjumpers is much better. For one thing, it's a PIE. Crust all around, not just on the top. Flaky and delicious. Oh God, I want one NOW.

UPDATE - I just discovered that Claimjumpers is selling their pot-pies in the frozen food section of my local Ralphs. While the frozen pies aren't as good what you find in the restaurant (duhhhhhh), they are still too damn good... I've had three already this week.

The Habit

The best hamburger place in LA. I eat at the Woodland Hills place four or five times a week. Always the same thing. Double charburger with cheese, protein style. I've also fallen into the habit (nice segue) of eating breakfast on my way to work at the local Dennys. I've only been going in for two weeks now, but I am already a regular. They don't know my name yet, and I don't know any of theirs, but they know what I like to eat. I don't have to order at all. I just smile when I come in, find a seat, and five minutes later there's my Grand Slam, two eggs over medium, all bacon (soft, not crispy) and a large Diet Coke (which they keep filled and transfer to a to-go-cup when I go to pay at the counter). It's comforting...small townish... and kinda scary. I've started to notice the other regulars. The guy who sits at the counter drinking one Iced Tea after another (he comes in every day and stays, I'm told, for HOURS). The enormous fat guy with a weeks worth of newspapers to read EVERYDAY. He uses a cane and has the look of a hardcore sci fi fan. Also video geek. Odds are he has tapes of everything Heather Locklear has EVER done. The big table of school bus drivers. There are more. They all seem sad to me... until I realize I am one of them. Then I wonder what they are thinking about me ("Look at that judgmental jerk over there... looking at me like I'm some kind of loser. Is that a nose on his face or is he eating somebody's arm?") The fun people are the illicit lovers who come in from the dive motel next door. I love eavesdropping on their conversations.
Who said TV writers don't lead glamorous lives? Okay, now I am officially rambling.

My Brother On The Atkins Diet

My brother writes a terrific column for the Las Vegas Mercury. ..especially when he's writing about my Mom.

All of us Goldberg men are lard-asses... so we are on the Atkins Diet. Well, I am. Tod quit because he couldn't poop anymore... and wrote a very funny column about it called The Crap Free Diet. If you're eating "protein burgers" and counting carb, you gotta read this.