A Writer's Life

TV Main Title of the Week

TV Main Title of the Week - Bonus Edition

Mr. Monk on the Road Raves

Two rave reviews for MR. MONK ON THE ROAD just came my way, both from long-time fans of the books. Debra Hamel at Bookblog says, in part:

Goldberg's books aren't only about the crimes. More important are the series's wonderful characters. The development of Monk and Natalie's relationship over the series makes for many sweet moments, but in this outing the focus is on Ambrose's interaction with Monk and Natalie and with the world at large. As usual in the series, there is some very funny dialogue. Usually this is centered on Monk's abhorrence of all things unsanitary, but Ambrose's social ineptitude also makes for some funny lines. I really enjoyed this one and the series as a whole, and I'm hoping the books never stop coming. 

Ed Gorman liked it for a lot of the same reasons. He says, in part:

Lee Goldberg has cast the new and extremely enjoyable Monk book as a picaresque adventure.[...]I've given up trying to rank the Monk books. I've read them all and think they each have different pleasures to offer, which is a tribute to Lee's savvy as a writer. But I have to say that putting both the Monks in a RV with Natalie-take-no-crap-Teeger has got to be the funniest premise yet. A truly hilarious read with a surprise shout-out to the movie "Duel" coming out of nowhere. Among many other surprises.

Thank you Ed and Debra for the great reviews and the continued support!

Hells Fargo

I want to share with you a Kafka-esque conversation I had today with a representative at Wells Fargo Bank.

But first, some background.

Back in December, my accountant pointed out that I'm apparently paying twice, through automatic withdrawals, for online banking each month. One payment is for $14.95 and is clearly listed as a Wells Fargo online banking fee...the other fee for $15.95 and is listed as an "Online Bill Payment Services Fee."

I called the bank and questioned them about the charges. They said that the ""Online Bill Payment Services Fee" wasn't from them. When they called the number associated with the account, they got "middle eastern music." So I had them put a stop payment on the withdrawal, effective immediately. They did that, said they would investigate the matter, and told me to call back in a couple of weeks for more details on who was taking my money.

So that's what I did. But when I called back, with my claim number and everything, the agent had no idea what I was calling about. I gave him the back story.

"Some entity calling itself  'Online Bill Payment Services" has been withdrawing fifteen dollars a month from my account," I said. 

"That is correct. We have stopped that transaction. It won't happen again."

"That's great. Who are they?"

"A bank," he said.

"Your bank?" I asked.

"Another bank."

"Which bank?"

"I can't tell you that information," he said.

"Why not?" 

"I can't answer that question," he said.

"Why not?"

"Because that's not my department," he said. "You will need to speak to another department."

"The department that answers questions?"

"I don't appreciate the tone of your voice," he said. "I will send the department a request. They will get back to you in three days. Or maybe more."

"With the name of the bank," I said.

"They might," he said. "Or they might not. They may not know, either."

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Is there anything stopping this other bank from just withdrawing a different amount of money from my account next month? Say, $15.97 or $1500?" 

"No, there isn't"

"Can't you put a stop to any automatic withdrawals from my account from that other bank?"

"No, because it's not the bank that is withdrawing the money, but rather a person or business who has an account with them."

"Okay, now we're getting somewhere," I said. "Can you tell me the person or business that is that is taking my money?"

"No," he said. 

"So how do I stop this person or business from making withdrawals from my account?

"You have to call Wells Fargo customer service and ask them to put a stop payment on all withdrawals from the person or business."

"But you won't tell me the name of the bank or the person or the business that is taking my money!"

"That is correct," he said. "You don't have to yell."

"I am closing my account," I said.

"It would be easier to put a stop payment on the person or business that is withdrawing your money."

"BUT YOU WON'T TELL ME WHO THEY ARE!"

"That is correct. Can I be of any more service to you today?"

UPDATE 1/25/2011: After that infuriating call, I took a "time out" and called Wells Fargo again. I spoke to a different representative, who was only slightly more helpful.

She was pleased to tell me they were reversing $47 in charges paid to whoever was taking my money. That's only a fraction of what I've lost, but okay, it's a step forward.

She went on to say that the withdrawal is coming from New York Clearing House on behalf of Mid-Peninsula Bank (which a quick web searched revealed was taken over by Wells Fargo in 2007).

She said that, short of me closing down my account, there was nothing they could do to help me prevent future unauthorized withdrawals from Mid-Peninsula Bank. Nor were they willing to help me figure out who at Mid-Peninsula Bank was withdrawing my money, nor were they willing to give me any information I could take to law enforcement to try to figure out who was taking my money. 

So I closed my checking account and opened a new one. But because all of our other accounts are at Wells Fargo, and I didn't want the hassle of starting anew at another bank, I ended up staying there.

I went down to my local branch and had a new checking account in about ten minutes. Even so, I am not happy customer.

TV Main Title of the Week

Would you rather be an enlightened barista or a working writer?

My brother Tod did an interview with the Association of Writers and Writing Projects blog about his approach to running the low residency MFA program in Creative Writing & Writing for the Performing Arts at the University of California, Riverside. This brief excerpt pretty much says it all: 

Caleb J Ross: You said something at last year’s AWP which stuck with me. Paraphrased, of course, you said that you teach your MFA classes like an instructor of any trade program might, with the end goal of providing financial opportunities for the students. This seems like a radically different approach than most MFAs which may instead focus on non-definable, creative signposts to gauge student success. First, am I expressing your idea correctly? Second, how is this goal compromised by a low-residency program, if it even is?

Tod Goldberg: Pretty close. Essentially my philosophy is that if you’re in an MFA program, your goal isn’t to become the most well-read person on earth with a handful of literary quotes at your disposal at all times, it’s to be published. It’s to be produced. Graduate programs in creative writing are some of the few that seem entirely esoteric because they don’t seem to be training you for anything tangible, apart from maybe being a particularly enlightened barista, because, well, that’s frequently the case.  But I think that has to change. Being a professional writer is a job. And if you want to write books, or write screenplays, or write poetry, simply for personal edification, you certainly don’t need an MFA program to do that. But if you want to become a professional writer, I think an MFA program can and should be a clear stepping stone in that direction. Most aren’t. Most entirely eschew the idea of life after the MFA — in fact, most programs tend to herald your acceptance into the program as the “making it” part of your writing career, which is silly. It’s school. It’s what you do afterward that makes a difference...

 

Is A Story Really Necessary?

This is a dramatization of an actual event.

 

Agent Scams

Victoria Strauss at Writer Beware offers an excellent primer today on how to spot, and avoid, literary representation scams. As it turns out, the sample solicitation she's using was sent by Dan Grogan, an ex-employee of Jones Harvest, a two-bit and particularly sleazy vanity press. Clearly, Dan learned from the best. Here's some of Victoria's warning signs to watch out for:

- Cold-call solicitation. Reputable agents will sometimes directly approach an author whose work they've seen and liked (and if so, will reference that work). But they don't rely on mass email solicitation to build their client lists. 

- Multiple punctuation and spelling errors, both in the email and on the agency's website (missing apostrophes, "summery" for "summary," etc.). A literary agent should be able to write error-free English--and to proofread it once it's written.

- Claims of experience that can't be verified. There are more of these on the agency's website. Alleging "long term relationships with particular publishers and editors" or "connections in the film industry, publishing companies, and multi-media marketing companies" are meaningless without specifics. A real agent with real experience who wants to tout that experience will say exactly what it is (see, for instance, the staff bios at the Nelson Literary Agency, or those at the Waxman Agency).

- Promotion of services irrelevant to literary representation.Reputable agents help guide their clients' careers, but they don't typically double as "public relation [sic] representatives." And see this page of the agency's website, where they claim, among other things, to be able to provide an ISBN, list clients' books on Amazon, and "Copyright your work with the Nation [sic] Library of Congress." These are services important for self-publishers, but not relevant to authors expecting their agents to sell their books to reputable trade publishers. (And wouldn't you hope your agent would know that your work is copyrighted from the moment you write it down, and that what you do with the US Copyright Office--not with the Library of Congress--is register it?)

- A critiquing service for a fee. The publishing world is changing, and reputable agents are more and more branching out into other areas--including the provision of various paid services (I'm planning a post on that in the near future). However, offering a paid service to a potential client is a conflict of interest--never a good thing--and if you're cold-call soliciting that client, it suggests that maybe shilling the paid service is your main objective. 

Zach Is Back

Back in the 1990s, my friend Zachary Klein wrote three terrific, widely-acclaimed mystery novels about substance abusing PI Matt Jacob ("Still Among the Living," "Two Way Toll," etc.) and then disappeared from the book scene. Until now. He's back with a new blog...and soon his out-of-print books will be showing up again on the Kindle (and, I hope, the unpublished fourth book in the series will follow, too). Here's an excerpt from his first blog post...

Creating fiction has always been crucial.  Imperative, really, to keep my mother from slamming my ass with the telephone or frat paddle.  To juke the rabbis in the Brooklyn Mirrer Yeshiva when they’d catch me in Greenwich Village or reading Playboy(just for the interviews, of course).  Unfortunately my verbal dancing wasn’t always successful since I got thrown out before high school graduation.  But no serious damage.  I’d done well on the New York State Regents and had been accepted at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, before the toss. (Actually, everyone from the yeshiva did well. They made sure the collective marks were always high enough to keep their accreditation.)

 

 

Announcing Top Suspense

Here's the press release announcing TopSuspense, which just went out to media outlets this week.

Navigating the Sea of E-Books

Nine top suspense authors join forces to promote quality e-books www.TopSuspenseGroup.com

 The e-book market is exploding. With over 700,000 e-books currently available and hundreds more added every week, it’s growing increasingly difficult to distinguish quality books from those that are unedited and written by inexperienced authors.

That’s why nine established, professional authors have formed Top Suspense Group, a site where readers are guaranteed to find top-notch, award-winning authors in multiple genres who deliver a great e-reading experience in their dozens of highly-acclaimed books.

"Readers can count on us," acclaimed author Max Allan Collins explains. "Every member of our group has already made his or her mark on genre fiction, whether it's noir, crime, mystery, thriller, horror or Westerns, and in some cases, several of these genres."

Top Suspense authors have each:

• Published multiple novels with traditional publishers
• Won or have been nominated for major literary awards
• Been internationally published
• Received critical acclaim from national publications

Many of the authors have graced the national bestseller lists and have had their work produced or optioned for film (the Oscar winning “Road to Perdition”) and television (the Emmy winning “Monk”). Our authors include:

 Max Allan Collins · Bill Crider · Lee Goldberg · Joel Goldman · Ed Gorman · Vicki Hendricks

Paul Levine · Harry Shannon · Dave Zeltserman

 This unique site provides a one-stop-shop of quality suspense fiction. As the e-book market continues to flood and overwhelm readers, Top Suspense will remain a succinct guide to quality, professional e-books written by today’s leading authors.

 

You Can Become a Kindle Millionaire, Part 20

I've got a new guest post up on Joe Konrath's blog charting my Kindle experience...and the complete change in my thinking about ebooks. A lot of what I'm saying there you've already read about here, so let's cut to the chase:

This January, if sales continue at the current pace, I will sell about 3100 books this month and earn $6600 in royalties.

That’s a 166% increase in sales and a whopping 751% jump in royalties.

In just one year.

On out-of-print books that I wrote years ago that were earning me nothing before June 2009.

If those sales hold for the rest of the year, I will earn $77,615 in Kindle royalties, and that’s not counting the far less substantial royalties coming in from Amazon UK, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble and CreateSpace.

Even if my sales plummet tomorrow by fifty percent, I’ll still earn about $38,000 in royalties this year…and I’d be very, very happy with that.

My most profitable title, in terms of hours worked and pages written, is THREE WAYS TO DIE, a collection of three previously published short stories. In print, it’s a mere fifty-six pages long, but it’s selling 24 copies-a-day on the Kindle, earning me about $1500-a-month. That means I could potentially earn $18,000 this year just from those three short stories alone.

That is insane.

But what would be more insane is if I took my next, standalone, non-MONK book to a publisher instead of “publishing” it myself on the Kindle.

That’s right. I’d rather self-publish. This from a guy who for years has been an out-spoken, and much-reviled, critic of self-publishing. But that was before the Kindle came along and changed everything. I was absolutely right then…but I’d be wrong now.

Yes, it's happened. I have become a complete convert to self-publishing and the Kindle. But do I recommend it for you? It depends. I go into more detail in the post on Joe's blog, so check it out.

A Question About Monk

This is a re-enactment of an actual conversation I had with a fan after I spoke to the American Society of University Women (or something like that) up in Ventura last year.

A Harvest of Broken Promises

I've written a lot over the years about Brien Jones and his sleazy vanity press Jones Harvest (most recently, I blogged about his hilarious offer to turn your book into a screenplay). Now Bonnie Kaye's Jones Harvest Victims Blog has posted an open letter from Donna Hamilton, one of Brien's former employees, to the poor suckers who paid him to publish their books. It reads, in part:

Please know that it was always my intention to do an honest job for the authors that I worked with. I know how much your hard work means to you. I also know how hard you worked for the money that you invested to receive publishing and promotional services that you expected to be provided—especially when I promised you that the work you paid for would be done. At the time I sold you these services, I truly believed that you were paying for legitimate services that were being provided by the owners of the company. When I realized this wasn’t the case, I made the decision to leave.

Donna provided the authors with her email and phone number if they would like to talk some more with her. I applaud her honesty and I hope she is also talking to the Indiana Attorney General, who shut down the infamous Airleaf/Bookman vanity press, where Brien worked for years and acquired all of his valuable  "publishing experience" before starting Jones Harvest.

 

Edgar Award Nominations Announced

Mystery Writers of America is proud to announce on the 202nd anniversary of the birth of Edgar Allan Poe, its Nominees for the 2011 Edgar Allan Poe Awards, honoring the best in mystery fiction, non-fiction and television published or produced in 2010. The Edgar® Awards will be presented to the winners at our 65th Gala Banquet, April 28, 2011 at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, New York City.

BEST NOVEL

Caught by Harlan Coben (Penguin Group USA - Dutton)
Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter by Tom Franklin (HarperCollins – William Morrow)
Faithful Place by Tana French (Penguin Group USA - Viking)
The Queen of Patpong by Timothy Hallinan (HarperCollins – William Morrow)
The Lock Artist by Steve Hamilton (Minotaur/Thomas Dunne Books)
I’d Know You Anywhere by Laura Lippman (HarperCollins – William Morrow)

BEST FIRST NOVEL BY AN AMERICAN AUTHOR

Rogue Island by Bruce DeSilva (Tom Doherty Associates – Forge Books)
The Poacher’s Son by Paul Doiron (Minotaur Books)
The Serialist: A Novel by David Gordon (Simon & Schuster)
Galveston by Nic Pizzolatto (Simon & Schuster - Scribner)
Snow Angels by James Thompson (Penguin Group USA – G.P. Putnam’s Sons)

BEST PAPERBACK ORIGINAL

Long Time Coming by Robert Goddard (Random House - Bantam)
The News Where You Are by Catherine O’Flynn (Henry Holt)
Expiration Date by Duane Swierczynski (Minotaur Books)
Vienna Secrets by Frank Tallis (Random House Trade Paperbacks)
Ten Little Herrings by L.C. Tyler (Felony & Mayhem Press)

BEST FACT CRIME

Scoreboard, Baby: A Story of College Football, Crime and Complicity 
by Ken Armstrong and Nick Perry (University of Nebraska Press – Bison Original)
The Eyes of Willie McGee: A Tragedy of Race, Sex, and Secrets in Jim Crow South by Alex Heard (HarperCollins)
Finding Chandra: A True Washington Murder Mystery by Scott Higham and Sari Horwitz (Simon & Schuster - Scribner)
Hellhound on his Trail: The Stalking of Martin Luther King, Jr and the International Hunt for his Assassin by Hampton Sides (Random House - Doubleday)
The Killer of Little Shepherds: A True Crime Story and the Birth of Forensic Science by Douglas Starr (Alfred A. Knopf)

BEST CRITICAL/BIOGRAPHICAL

The Wire: Truth Be Told by Rafael Alvarez (Grove Atlantic – Grove Press)
Agatha Christie's Secret Notebooks: Fifty Years of Mysteries in the Making by John Curran (HarperCollins)
Sherlock Holmes for Dummies by Steven Doyle and David A. Crowder (Wiley)
Charlie Chan: The Untold Story of the Honorable Detective and his Rendevouz with American History by Yunte Huang (W.W. Norton)
Thrillers: 100 Must Reads edited by David Morrell and Hank Wagner (Oceanview Publishing)

BEST SHORT STORY

"The Scent of Lilacs" – Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine by Doug Allyn (Dell Magazines)
"The Plot" – First Thrills by Jeffery Deaver (Tom Doherty – Forge Books)
"A Good Safe Place” – Thin Ice by Judith Green (Level Best Books)
"Monsieur Alice is Absent" – Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine 
by Stephen Ross (Dell Magazines)
"The Creative Writing Murders" – Dark End of the Street by Edmund White (Bloomsbury)

BEST JUVENILE

Zora and Me by Victoria Bond and T.R. Simon (Candlewick Press)
The Buddy Files: The Case of the Lost Boy by Dori Hillestad Butler (Albert Whitman & Co.)
The Haunting of Charles Dickens by Lewis Buzbee (Feiwel & Friends)
Griff Carver: Hallway Patrol by Jim Krieg (Penguin Young Readers Group - Razorbill)
The Secret Life of Ms. Finkleman by Ben H. Winters (HarperCollins Children’s Books)

BEST YOUNG ADULT

The River by Mary Jane Beaufrand (Little Brown Books for Young Readers)
Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S. King (Random House Children’s Books – Alfred A. Knopf)
7 Souls by Barnabas Miller and Jordan Orlando (Random House Children’s Books – Delacorte Press)
The Interrogation of Gabriel James by Charlie Price (Farrar, Straus, Giroux Books for Young Readers)
Dust City by Robert Paul Weston (Penguin Young Readers Group - Razorbill)

BEST PLAY

The Psychic by Sam Bobrick (Falcon Theatre – Burbank, CA)
The Tangled Skirt by Steve Braunstein (New Jersey Repertory Company)
The Fall of the House by Robert Ford (Alabama Shakespeare Festival)

BEST TELEVISION EPISODE TELEPLAY

“Episode 1” - Luther, Teleplay by Neil Cross (BBC America)
“Episode 4” – Luther, Teleplay by Neil Cross (BBC America)
“Full Measure” – Breaking Bad, Teleplay by Vince Gilligan (AMC/Sony)
“No Mas” – Breaking Bad, Teleplay by Vince Gilligan (AMC/Sony)
“The Next One’s Gonna Go In Your Throat” – Damages, Teleplay by Todd A. Kessler, Glenn Kessler & Daniel Zelman (FX Networks)

ROBERT L. FISH MEMORIAL AWARD 

"Skyler Hobbs and the Rabbit Man" – Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine by Evan Lewis (Dell Magazines)

GRAND MASTER

Sara Paretsky

RAVEN AWARDS

Centuries & Sleuths Bookstore, Forest Park, Illinois
Once Upon A Crime Bookstore, Minneapolis, Minnesota

THE SIMON & SCHUSTER - MARY HIGGINS CLARK AWARD
(Presented at MWA’s Agents & Editors Party on Wednesday, April 27, 2010)

Wild Penance by Sandi Ault (Penguin Group – Berkley Prime Crime)
Blood Harvest by S.J. Bolton (Minotaur Books)
Down River by Karen Harper (MIRA Books)
The Crossing Places by Elly Griffiths (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt)
Live to Tell by Wendy Corsi Staub (HarperCollins - Avon)

Dead Tree Books

Those of you without Kindles, Nooks, Kobos, iPads, or Smartphones with e-reader aps can now get your hands on trade paperback editions of my books  THE WALK, THE MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE, DEAD SPACE (aka "Beyond the Beyond") and THREE WAYS TO DIE.  

MY GUN HAS BULLETS has been out in trade paperback for six or seven years through the Author's Guild/Back-in-Print program...but I am yanking that edition and will be releasing a new, cheaper edition in a few weeks.

I am also toying with the idea of releasing a trade paperback of THE JURY SERIES, all four of my early "vigilante" novels combined into one edition. 

With all the attention being given to ebooks lately, I am surprised that I have been able to sell 100 copies a month of THE WALK in trade paperback. I will be curious to see if the other books do nearly as well.

Confidentially Speaking

If you haven't already had your fill of me blathering on about TV and ebooks, I will be a guest tonight on Ed Robertson's podcast TV Confidential, blathering some more.  You can catch it at 7 pm on ShokusRadio.com and again on Tuesday at 9 pm. on InternetVoicesRadio.com, Friday at 5 & 8 pm on KSAV.org, Saturday at 9 pm on KWDJ-AM in Ridgecrest, and it will be broadcast directly into your brain while you are sleeping tonight. If they still fail to reach you, the program will be archived at TVConfidential.net.

TV Main Title of the Week

TV Main Title of the Week: T & T Edition

Take a Hint

The print ads for the awful new TVLand sitcom RETIRED AT 35 feature the three stars of the show under the headline "When Your Career Goes South." I couldn't help noticing what's missing from the picture. See if you can spot it (click on the photo for a larger view):

The show's three stars are pictured, but only two are identified -- George Segal and Jessica Walter. The poor guy who is at the center of the sitcom and the advertisement isn't mentioned at all. Apparently, his career has already gone south. If I was him, whoever the hell he is, I'd start looking for a new agent. 

Fatal Beauty

My Uncle Burl Barer's latest true crime book, FATAL BEAUTY, explores yet another bizarre and compelling homicide with a cast of outrageous characters straight out of an Elmore Leonard novel:

Jimmy Joste was a powerhouse in the oil and gas industry, but he was a weakling when it came to his gorgeous, athletic, longtime lover, Rhonda Glover. Addicted to her sexual prowess and madly in love, Joste gave her homes, cars, cash, and a $350,000 engagement ring. Their fifteen years of passion and excess ended the day Rhonda drove directly from a shooting range to the Austin home they once shared. After pumping ten bullets into him from a Glock 9mm, she stood over Joste's blood-splattered body and shot him six more times - twice below the waist..

How can you resist reading more? Uncle Burl is already getting rave reviews from the crime writing community, including this one from Kevin Sullivan, author of THE BUNDY MURDERS.

Anyone familiar with Burl Barer, understands what they're getting in a book written by him long before they turn that first page: In-depth research, exceedingly revealing interviews, and straight-forward answers as to what exactly occurred in each case. And with FATAL BEAUTY he does just that. It's a quick paced narrative that keeps one on the edge of their seat, and sparks that unmistakable feeling that it's all happening right before their eyes. I highly recommend FATAL BEAUTY for anyone who wants to know what a body can do when a mind is in turmoil.

And he got a rave from the True Crime Book Review blog.  They say, in part:

While the book may be more focused on how to prosecute (or not) a person suffering obvious mental disorders, it’s very interesting. Also mind-boggling, so don’t expect to read it in a couple of days – give yourself time to savor each chapter like a fine wine

If you like colorful and unusual tales of true crime, this book is for you.

The Best of the Best

My friend Phoef Sutton's episode of TERRIERS was singled out by The Futon Critic, their staff, and freelancers this week as one of the ten best of hours of television this season.  The acclaim is well-deserved. TERRIERS will go down as one of the best PI shows ever on TV (along with ROCKFORD, HARRY O and THE OUTSIDER)... and Phoef's episode as one of the best of the best.

TV Main Title of the Week - Forgotten Spin-Offs edition

Some Mystery Bookstore Memories

I must have hundreds of photos from the Mystery Bookstore, going back twenty years, but here are a few that I found lingering on my hard-drive tonight.

1. Me signing with a broken arm at the Mystery bookstore's booth at the Festival of Books.

2. Bob Levinson, manager Bobby McCue, Me, Ken Kuhlken, and Gar Haywood at a booksigning for HOLLYWOOD & CRIME.

3.  Me finally getting to meet one of my favorite authors Garry Disher and discovering that he'd dedicated his book to me.

4. Michael Connelly, Martha Lawrence and me at a 2001 signing.

5. Me and Zoe Sharp signing together.

6. Me and Victor Gischler at a Festival of Books party.

7. Jerrilyn Farmer, my daughter Maddie, and me at a booksigning.

 

These photos don't begin to cover all the countless booksignings, readings and parties I've attended there...or all the times I just stopped in to browse for books. I remember visiting the store, back when it was in West Hollywood, and imagining what it would be like to have a book of mine on a shelf there some day. Sheldon MacArthur, who ran the store in the early days, recommended so many great books and authors to me that I probably never would have discovered on my own. He was incredibly supportive of my aspirations to be an author myself. Not only did I end up signing my first book there... but my brother signed his first one there, too. And so many of the close friendships that I have with other authors began inside that store. It's really hard for me to accept that it's closing.

Tragic News

Today, Los Angeles lost a great bookstore. Authors got an email today from Kirk Pasich and Pamela Woods, owners of the Mystery Bookstore, announcing that they are closing their store on January 31. It's like hearing that close friend has been diagnosed with a terminal, and incurable, illness.

We have very much enjoyed owning the Mystery Bookstore in Los Angeles.

We've enjoyed your books and getting to know you, and the kindness and generosity of spirit you've shown us--as well as your visits and signings.  Unfortunately, we, too, are going the way of too many independent bookstores.  We simply cannot compete with the Amazons of the world and the impact of the economy.  We love the bookstore and mysteries and the relationships we've formed with authors and publishers and agents and publicists.  But, we do have retirement to think about (not in the near future!), and family and, well, all of those things that require money.  So, it is with considerable sadness that we announce that The Mystery Bookstore, Los Angeles, will--after many years (and as apparently the last-standing bookstore in Westwood, other than UCLA's student store)--be closing. Our last day will be January 31, 2011.

This is very sad news... both for me as a mystery lover, a reader, and as an author. I am really going to miss it.

It's a Matte World

The new Showtime series EPISODES is amazing. I'm not talking about the premise, the writing, or the acting. No, what astonishes me is the digital matte work. The show takes place entirely in Los Angeles... with plenty of blue skies, palm trees, McMansions, and lots of driving through Beverly Hills and Malibu in convertibles. And yet, the show is shot entirely in London.

They pull it off thanks to the green screen magicians at Stargate Studios. There are a few shots where the digital compositing is obvious (in particular, a night-time, outdoor party in the Hollywood hills), but for the most part, the trick photography is entirely invisible and utterly convincing. I constantly found myself wondering "how the hell did they do that?"

But the really, really amazing thing is that it's cheaper to do all those elaborate effects shots than to just shoot the show here. 

 

Mr. Monk and the Scoop

MR. MONK ON THE ROAD got a rave review today from the Gelati's Scoop blog. They said, in part:

This is probably the best Monk novel that Lee Goldberg has written by far, plain and simple, it's flat out awesome! [...]Lee Goldberg has really taken the characters and fleshed them out more, gotten inside their heads, exposed their feelings and emotions on a level that hasn’t been done before, [giving] them a unique sense of self, where they stand with each other and the world, and a balance and symmetry that the characters have always craved but never had. This for me is the complete Mr. Monk novel: fun, tongue in cheek, over the top insanity mixed with equal parts mystery, action and an ending that ties everything up into a nice package.  

Thanks so much, Giovanni!

 

 

The Doctor is In

My buddy Dr. Doug Lyle has scored a remarkable double-header:  two new novels coming out this June.

There's HOT LIGHTS, COLD STEEL, the second book in his Dub Walker series, and ROYAL PAINS: FIRST DO NO HARM, the first in his new series of original tie-in novels based on the hit TV show.

I had nothing to do with HOT LIGHTS, COLD STEEL, but I can take credit for championing Doug for the ROYAL PAINS books and luring him into our evil cult of tie-in writers.  It was the least I could do after all the medical advice he's given me over the years for my various scripts and all of my DIAGNOSIS MURDER and MONK books. 

I've read the first few chapters of the ROYAL PAINS book and can report that he's perfectly captured the show. I'm looking forward to Doug joining me, my brother Tod, and William Rabkin for signings this summer to promote our various tie-ins (all for the same publisher and TV network).

Mr. Monk and the Two Great Reviews

MR. MONK ON THE ROAD has been out for a couple of days and the reviews are starting to come in. The Gumshoe Review liked it a lot and said, among other things:

With each new Monk novel that author Lee Goldberg gives us, plot becomes less and less important, and the characters and their interactions with one another become more important. Mr. Monk on the Road cannot boast of having an actual plot. The book is comprised of a series of vignettes that are loosely tied together through the device of the motor home and the improbable road trip. But this fact will not greatly trouble readers of the previous Monk books. The joy of this narrative is derived from observing Mr. Monk as he effortlessly spots the subtle clues and unravels the baffling complexities of each crime scene. And further pleasure is derived from the continuing evolution of the relationships between Monk, Natalie Teeger, brother Ambrose, and SFPD Captain Stottlemeyer.

Readers of Monk will enjoy Mr. Monk on the Road as much as or more than any of the Monk books that have preceded it. Heartily recommended.

And my friend Bill Crider also found a lot to like in this one. He said, in part:

The jokes are funny. The human relationships are serious and treated with dignity and respect, and the mystery aspect is . . . solidly there. I can say no more. Okay, that's a lie. I can say that this is another fine entry in a spin-off series that's taken on a life of its own. In fact, this book is the first one that picks up after the end of the TV series. I'm looking forward to keeping up with the adventures of Monk and Natalie for a long time to come. While the TV show is in endless reruns, those two characters will be living out their lives in ways that are bound to be well worth reading about

Thank you both for the great reviews!

UPDATE: I don't know how I missed it before, but Gumshoe Review also gave a rave to MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT. They said, in part:

Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out may well be the finest entry to date in the Mr. Monk series, although it took me awhile to put my finger on the precise reasons that I liked this book so much. One major reason, I finally realized, is that this story resonated on some very sympathetic levels. The descriptions of small businesses gone bankrupt, police officers and others who have lost their jobs due to budget cuts, and people fearful of losing their homes to foreclosure struck a definite chord. So many of us these days find ourselves walking an economic tightrope, and this book's frank portrayal of that condition seemed to create a sort of brotherhood--a brotherhood comprised of both the readers and the characters. A kind of, "We're all in this together" spirit of dismal camaraderie.

Speaking of characters, throughout the Mr. Monk series author Lee Goldberg has always kept a firm grasp on exactly who his characters are, and he is able to expertly play them against one another to the best dramatic and comic advantage. If anything, Goldberg's use of his characters, dialogue and dramatic pacing has with time gotten better yet. From Natalie Teeger's inner dialogues that reflect the uncertainties of a single mother (and single woman) in today's uncertain world, to the lovable, but usually clueless and banal ideas that fall from the lips of police detective Randy Disher, to the extreme obsessive-compulsive manias that beset Mr. Monk on a daily basis, the idiosyncrasies and resulting interplay of these characters is a delight to the reader.

Mr. Monk is Cleaned Out is a first rate comic crime novel, but more so it is a celebration of all things Monk. A celebration that any fan of Mr. Monk will revel in. I heartily recommend this book.

 

Why am I not watching TV?

I'm a TV geek. I love TV. I write about TV, I read about TV, and I work in TV. So why have I watched so little of it this season?

For example, I never missed an episode of LAW & ORDER:SVU. Until now. This season, I've seen one episode (the horrendous "soft drinks are evil" episode)...and I haven't been back. (Of course, last season may go down as their worst ever and that may have turned me off to the show).

I loved MODERN FAMILY last season, I watched every, single episode. This season, I've watched three. I liked them all. But haven't been back.

I've seen about half of the CASTLEs this season. Have a bunch on my Tivo. Haven't watched them.

I've seen two episodes each of NIKITA, DETROIT 187, BLUE BLOODS, THE WALKING DEAD, BOARDWALK EMPIRE...I liked them, enough to get season passes on my Tivo, but so far, I haven't gone back to see any of them.

Last season, I watched four episodes of THE GOOD WIFE. Liked it. Tivo'd every episode, and still do. Haven't watched any of'em yet. I used to be an avid viewer of HOUSE, BONES, and CSI ...and haven't watched them now for a couple of years.

I've seen three LAW & ORDER: LA's and that was enough. I saw two DEFENDERS, also enough. I saw one episode of each of CHASE, NO ORDINARY FAMILY, and THE GOOD GUYS. I saw one SHIT MY DAD SAYS and one MIKE & MOLLY, and I want that hour of my life back.

The only shows I haven't missed an episode of this season are DEXTER, JUSTIFIED, and LEVERAGE...and HAWAII FIVE-O (which is astonishing, since 5-o is so disappointing on so many levels. Why the hell do I keep going back?). I have watched a few UK shows... SHERLOCK, LUTHOR, LEWIS, etc...but those are only three to six episodes each.

And I, a life-long TV geek, have never seen a single episode of the Emmy-winning and wildly acclaimed series MAD MEN or BREAKING BAD. I've also never seen a single episode of  BROTHERS & SISTERS, IN TREATMENT, THE EVENT, LIFE UNEXPECTED, VAMPIRE DIARIES, THE HUMAN TARGET and most of the new sitcoms.

I used to watch everything. I used to make sure I saw at least one episode of every new series. 

What I can't figure out is... why have I stopped watching TV? What's happened to me? 

Part of it may be there is so much more TV than ever before...ABC, CBS, FOX, CW, USA, TNT, TBS,Showtime, HBO, Starz, AMC...that it's impossible to keep up.

Part of it may be that I have been writing a lot...and watching TV feels like cheating on my deadlines.

Or maybe it's because so much of what I'm seeing feels rehashed and cliche-ridden...and I'm tired of being 20 steps ahead, plot wise, of the shows that I am watching. 

Or maybe I've just watched too much for too long and need a sabbatical. 

I have no clue. And yet, I feel guilty for "falling behind" in my TV viewing, like it's some sort of obligation.

But, and here's the really strange thing, I don't miss it.

Get DEAD SPACE For Free

I will soon be releasing a trade paperback edition of my book DEAD SPACE to go along with the ebook edition, which has been available for some time now. To generate fresh word-of-mouth and new reviews, I’d like email you a FREE COPY of the novel in whatever format you prefer (epub, PDF, txt, html, etc). Here’s all that you have to do:

1. Send me an email at lee@leegoldberg.com with the subject FREE SPACE BOOK and give me your name and the address of your website or blog (don’t have one? That’s okay. Read on).

2. Agree to post a review, positive or negative (but with no spoilers!) on your blog, website, Goodreads page, Facebook page, or the Amazon listing for DEAD SPACE in the next 60 days. (You don't have to buy the book on Amazon to review it there, you only need to have an account). 

3. Email me a copy of the review or a link to the post.

This offer is limited to the first 50 people who respond by January 15. (UPDATE 1/6/2011: I have already given away 25...so if you are interested, contact me ASAP!)

Here's the story on the book, which was originally published under the title BEYOND THE BEYOND by St. Martin's Press in the mid-1990s as a sequel to my book MY GUN HAS BULLETS...

Ex-cop Charlie Willis handles "special security" at Pinnacle Pictures. His job: to protect the studio and its stars, to stop scandals before they explode, to keep the peace in the land of make-believe. When Pinnacle revives the cult, 1960s TV series "Beyond the Beyond" as the cornerstone of a fourth network, two powerful forces fight for control of the show—a talent agency that uses blackmail, torture, and murder to keep its clients on the A-list, and a homicidal legion of rabid fans led by an insane actor who thinks he's in outer space.

CRITICAL ACCLAIM FOR 'DEAD SPACE':

“Goldberg uses just about everything he can think of to send up the studio system, fandom, Star Trek, Trekkies, agents, actors… you name it, he’ll make you laugh about it.” Analog

"An outrageously entertaining take on the loathsome folkways of contemporary showbiz," Kirkus Reviews

“Mr. Goldberg has an observant eye and a wicked pen!” Washington Times

“[It] reads like a modern-day Alice in Wonderland set against the venal world of the TV industry. It’s wonderfully revealing and uncannily accurate,” Vancouver Sun (Canada)

"Some of the easily recognizable actors, agents and producers who are mercilessly ribbed may find it hard to crack a smile at the author's gag-strewn prose, likewise those seekers after politically correct entertainment. But the rest of us should have no trouble….the novel's satiric slant is strong enough to have an effigy of Goldberg beamed into outer space at the next Star Trek convention," Los Angeles Times

"Pinnacle Pictures has decided to revive a 25-year-old cult sci-fi TV show called Beyond the Beyond, but somebody keeps killing off the new cast. Is it the Hollywood agent who eats human flesh? The aging actor who still thinks he's a starship captain? The fans who live only to attend conventions? This sharp roman a clef goes where no Hollywood satire has gone before—altering just enough facts to avoid the libel courts but still smacking of a certain je ne sais Trek. It probably won't make Goldberg, a television writer and producer (Baywatch, Spenser: For Hire, seaQuest), the most popular boy on the Paramount lot, but it's a stingingly funny novel just the same." 
—Entertainment Weekly 

"The hilarious follow-up to Goldberg's witty debut, My Gun Has Bullets...[this book] skewers the entertainment business, which Goldberg knows well," Oline Codgill, Knight-Ridder Newspapers.

"As in his riotous novel My Gun Has Bullets, TV writer/producer Goldberg once again bites the hand that feeds him, laughing all the while. Inspired silliness," Publishers Weekly

Tod is Reformed

My brother Tod reveals the inside scoop today on the writing of his latest BURN NOTICE book, THE REFORMED. Here's an excerpt:

 Julia Pistell, whose name appears in this book as a person who has had their identity stolen, went to graduate school with me and is one of the best humans alive. She happened to be visiting Wendy and me last January, when I was in the middle of the book, but didn't have a title yet. However, the fine people at Penguin needed a title and needed it right now, except that right now happened to be while Julia, Wendy and I were eating lunch at a deli in Palm Desert. So I said to Wendy and Julia, hey, anyone got a title? And Julia came up with The Reformed. (This was after The Godfather was rejected.)

TV Main Title of the Week - Harry O Edition

Harry O season 1, version 1

 

Harry O season 1, version 2

Harry O Season Two

Plagiarist's Goose is Cooked

I just stumbled, very late to the party, on this great story at The Consumerist about a cooking magazine that's facing demise after publishing a story that it stole from a writer.

After the writer, Monica Gaudio, discovered that her article had been lifted, without permission or pay, by Cook Source Magazine, she demanded a printed apology and a $130 donation to the Columbia School of Journalism. But the editor, Judith Griggs, was unapologetic, and fired back that Gaudio should be grateful for the editing that was done on the article...and consider herself fortunate that she wasn't being sent a bill. 

 honestly Monica, the web is considered "public domain" and you should be happy we just didn't "lift" your whole article and put someone else's name on it! It happens a lot, clearly more than you are aware of, especially on college campuses, and the workplace. If you took offence and are unhappy, I am sorry, but you as a professional should know that the article we used written by you was in very bad need of editing, and is much better now than was originally. Now it will work well for your portfolio. For that reason, I have a bit of a difficult time with your requests for monetary gain, albeit for such a fine (and very wealthy!) institution. We put some time into rewrites, you should compensate me! I never charge young writers for advice or rewriting poorly written pieces, and have many who write for me... ALWAYS for free!

But the real, amazing twist to this story is that Griggs is now blaming the writer for the likely demise of Cook Source Magazine.

"The bad news is that this is probably the final straw for Cooks Source," says the unsigned note posted on Cooks Source website. "We have never been a great money-maker even with all the good we do for businesses. Having a black mark wont help ... and now, our black mark will become our shroud. ... This will end us."

The note goes on to criticize writer Monica Gaudio for not giving Cooks Source more time to explain its mistake. "I really wish she had given me a chance to respond to her before blasting me. She really never gave me a chance."

Amazing stuff!

Sign of the Times, II

Two big Borders stores in my area -- the one in Westwood Village and the one in Thousand Oaks -- are closing, holding "everything must go sales." They may only be part of the first wave. The Los Angeles Times reports that Borders is having a severe liquidity problem that could lead to more store closures.

Borders Group Inc., the second-largest U.S. bookstore chain, lost more than a fifth of its market value Friday after saying it had delayed payments to some publishers while trying to avert a liquidity crisis.

Borders shares sank 26 cents, or 22%, to 90 cents, the biggest drop in more than two years. The shares have retreated 24% this year.

The company said last month that it was in talks to refinance debt and might violate its credit agreements in the first quarter if negotiations failed. Borders reiterated Friday that it couldn't guarantee that its initiatives would be successful. If the refinancing fails, the chain may face a "liquidity shortfall" in the next quarter, said Mary Davis, a Borders spokeswoman.

"The timing certainly raises eyebrows," said Peter Wahlstrom, an analyst with Morningstar Inc. in Chicago. Bookstores are typically most flush with cash at the end of the holiday shopping season, when they can stock lower inventories for the slow winter months, he said.

"If they are doing this at the end of December, it's more concerning," Wahlstrom said.

Borders is in discussions with potential lenders that would provide funds through the start of 2012, the Ann Arbor, Mich., company said Dec. 9. Borders also said it was looking to raise money through asset sales and cost reductions.

If Borders doesn't find additional lenders, the company may have to accelerate store closures, Wahlstrom said.

Borders and larger rival Barnes & Noble Inc. face growing competition as consumers download more digital books on electronic devices such as Amazon.com Inc.'s Kindle. Borders has reported three quarterly losses in a row as sales and its store count shrank.

The Mail I Get - The Crooks from People Magazine Edition

When my Mom died in November, and we were settling her accounts and subscriptions, we discovered that she'd renewed People Magazine through March 2015. We tried to get the magazine to cancel the subscription and refund the money, but they refused. So now we're getting the magazine here at the house. It's fine bathroom reading, let me tell you. What we couldn't figure out is what possessed my Mom to renew her subscription so far in advance. 

Now we know. She was tricked into it. 

Today, she got a bill from People Magazine, which I found pretty surprising, since my Mom was paid up well into the afterlife. 

Inside, I found an invoice that stated that her minimum amount due is $237.30, that her minimum current payment due is $158.20, and that it must be in by 1/16/11.  You can see the invoice yourself right here (I've redacted her account number and address).

You'll notice that nowhere on the "Summary of Account" does it state that this is simply a renewal offer, that she doesn't actually owe anything, and that her subscription doesn't expire for another four years.

My mother lived on a fixed income. She was tens of thousands of dollars in debt. And she had big medical bills. But I have no doubt that if she was still alive today, as ill as she was with "chemo brain," she would have paid this "bill" thinking that she owed the money and that she'd lose her subscription if she didn't. 

This invoice is an example of reprehensible business practices. You'd think that People Magazine would be required by law to say, clearly and in large letters, that this is a renewal offer and not a bill, that no payment is required at all, and that the current subscription is not in danger of expiring for a few more years.

The people at People Magazine are garden-variety swindlers, preying on the old and the addled, and they should be stopped from engaging in this kind of deception. It's shameful.

Does anybody know which government agency I can complain to about these scumbags?