A Writer's Life

My Doctor Is In

There's a new interview with me up at Dr. Doug Lyle's Writer's Forensics Blog. But I should disclose that it's a biased interview...he's an old friend, he's given me medical advice on all of my books and many of my TV scripts, and he's also my doctor. Here's a brief excerpt:

DPL: What’s the hardest part of writing [tie-in novels]?

LG: Capturing the feel of the show, and the voices of the characters, while also kicking things up a notch. You have to offer the reader something more than they are getting from simply watching the show (or the reruns). It’s also difficult, particularly with a long-running series, to come up with stuff that the writers haven’t already tackled.

DPL: You have a new Monk book coming out July 3rd. What can you tell us about it?

LG: The book is MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT and it’s the last book set before the finale of the TV series. This one is set in the midst of the current national economic crisis. The SFPD has to make draconian cutbacks to save money… so they fire Monk as a consultant. Monk figures he can live off his savings for a while. Then Natalie learns that Monk invested his money some time ago with Bob Sebes, the charismatic leader of Reinier Investments, who’s just been arrested on charges of orchestrating a massive $100 million fraud. All of Sebes’ clients, including Monk-are completely wiped out. Monk is broke…he can’t even afford to pay Natalie. So they end up taking all kinds of odd jobs. Meanwhile, when the key witness in the government’s case against Sebes is killed, Monk becomes convinced that Sebes did it, even though the man has been under house arrest with a horde of paparazzi in front of his building 24/7. I hope people have as much fun reading it as I had writing it!

TV Main Title of the Week - Vegas Edition

Here Comes the Slush

With so many ways for aspiring writers to self-publish their books, Laura Miller at Salon says the slush pile of millions of rejected manuscripts is about to go public...but will readers have the stomach for it?

People who have never had the job of reading through the heaps of unsolicited manuscripts sent to anyone even remotely connected with publishing typically have no inkling of two awful facts: 1) just how much slush is out there, and 2) how really, really, really, really terrible the vast majority of it is. Civilians who kvetch about the bad writing of Dan Brown, Stephenie Meyer or any other hugely popular but critically disdained novelist can talk as much trash as they want about the supposedly low standards of traditional publishing. They haven't seen the vast majority of what didn't get published -- and believe me, if you have, it's enough to make your blood run cold, thinking about that stuff being introduced into the general population.

[...]It seriously messes with your head to read slush. Being bombarded with inept prose, shoddy ideas, incoherent grammar, boring plots and insubstantial characters -- not to mention ton after metric ton of clichés -- for hours on end induces a state of existential despair that's almost impossible to communicate to anyone who hasn't been there themselves: Call it slush fatigue

So what happens to the book business when readers, who've filled their Kindles with $1.99 slush, discover that most of it is unreadable drivel? What will the backlash be?

A few days of reading bad manuscript after bad manuscript has a tendency to make you never want to pick up another manuscript again, but when finding new talent is your job and your vocation, you keep at it until you're successful enough to hire someone else to do it for you. If, on the other hand, you're a civilian, and reading is something you turn to, seeking fun or transcendence, during your precious hours of free time, how long will you persist when book after book has exactly the opposite effect, crushing your spirit instead of refreshing it? How long before you decide to just give up?

Some argue that readers and bloggers will spread the word about what is good or bad, and the market will become self-correcting. The sludge will quickly be identified, as well as the few genuinely terrific books buried amidst it all. But Miller argues we are just trading one set of gatekeepers (publishers, editors, "elite" literary critics) for a new set (bloggers, pundits, self-annointed experts).

Perhaps this system will work better, but I'm not so sure. Contrary to the way they're often depicted by frustrated authors, the agents and editors I've met are in fact committed to finding and nurturing books and authors they believe in as well as books that will sell. Also, bloggers or self-appointed experts on particular genres and types of writing are, in my experience, just as clubby and as likely to plug or promote their friends and associates as anybody else. Above all, this possible future doesn't eliminate gatekeepers: It just sets up new ones, equally human and no doubt equally flawed. How long before the authors neglected by the new breed of tastemaker begin to accuse them of being out-of-touch, biased dinosaurs?

The Other Side of the Coin

 A few days ago, I talked about how successful Joe Konrath has been on the Kindle and I argued that he's an exceptional case. Well, now author Mark Terry shows us the flipside. He's put five books on the Kindle, a mix of out-of-print and unpublished stuff. So farthis month he has sold 30 books and earned $29. And that's an uptick on his previous month's sales. He writes, in part:

Honestly, I don't know what to make of Joe's success. Joe says he doesn't know why some of his e-books sell great and others don't. I don't know why DANCING IN THE DARK sales seem so sluggish even though it's been out for months.

[...]I'm pretty unsold on the idea of people who can't get traditionally published just e-publishing, but a number of people have done it successfully. Maybe it all depends on what you want out of it.

Let's put it this way. On the basis of what I've seen so far, I'm still leaning strongly toward traditional publishing venues.

People who look at Joe's success or, to a far lesser degree, mine publishing books on the Kindle and think that our sales are the norm are in for a rude surprise...particularly if they don't already have an established following or strong name recognition. Sure, there might be a handful of exceptions out there, but that's what they are, the exceptions. Sadly, I believe Mark's experience is closer to the norm for the majority of authors self-publishing their work for the Kindle.

I Love GOLD

One of my favorite soundtracks, and guilty pleasures, is Elmer Bernstein's score for GOLD, a terrible thriller starring Roger Moore about a flood in a South African gold mine. But the big, bold, brassy and extremely cheesy theme song and score are absolutely wonderful...and it's on sale this week for just $14.95 from Screen Archives Entertainment. Here's the main title sequence from the film...

Writing is Rewriting

 The New York Times takes a peek at the John Updike archive at Harvard University and examines the various drafts he did of the first few paragraphs of RABBIT AT REST:

Though he was known and envied for writing rapidly and easily and revising very little — a reputation he encouraged — the archive demonstrates the painstaking care he took to establish the tone and atmosphere of his novels.

Cartons deposited in the early 1990s offer a synoptic map of “Rabbit at Rest,” the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that concludes the earthly transit of Harry Rabbit Angstrom, the former Pennsylvania high school basketball king who remains Updike’s most famous creation.

An Eagle Typing box contains a handwritten draft, completed in January 1989. Hurried on to the page (in pencil on the back of the typescript of a previous book), the flowing sentences are constellated with crossings out, insertions and circled text as Updike honed, phrase by phrase, the middle-American idiom and the hurtling present-tense that are signatures of the Rabbit cycle.

So numerous were the emendations to the opening scene, set in a Florida airport, that Updike stapled a typed page to the handwritten draft, in which the initial paragraphs are thoroughly resequenced to create an effect less linear and more interior. Further reworking the opening paragraph, to draw out its theme of impending death, Updike made subtly significant improvements.

“The sensation chills and oppresses him, above and beyond the air-conditioning,” he had first typed. Retouching by pen, he tightened the phrasing and also inserted an inspired pun: “The sensation chills him, above and beyond the terminal air-conditioning.”

But the best part of the Times piece is this link that shows the actual drafts, from his handwritten scribbles to the typed manuscript. It's fascinating stuff. And that's not all. There's also a link to a video interview with Updike filmed shortly before his death.

Kindle King Konrath

  My friend Joe Konrath can't stop making Kindle news. A month ago, he announced that Amazon Encore will be publishing his next Jack Daniels novel, first as an ebook exclusive and then as a trade paperback. Yesterday, he upped the ante and announced that he's giving up on print altogether and putting all his chips on the e-format, primarily the Kindle. And he's kicking it off with the Kindle publication of ENDURANCE and TRAPPED, two horror novels originally commissioned by a print publisher... but that he pulled from them rather than accepting the editorial changes they wanted him to make. Joe writes, in part:

Last year, some fans asked me to put my early, rejected books on Kindle so they could read them on their cool new device. I figured it couldn't hurt to try.

Fourteen months later, I've sold over 52,000 ebooks, and will earn over $100,000 this year on Kindle sales alone. On books that NY Publishing rejected.

So now I've taken the next, logical step. ENDURANCE (now available on Kindle for $2.99) is being released exclusively as a self-published ebook.

I've gone from desperately wanting to be accepted by NY Publishing, to completely ignoring NY Publishing.

And for him, I predict it will pay off handsomely. As of 10 pm tonight, ENDURANCE is ranked #42 out of all the books available in the Kindle store... and #1 in horror. I think his book is going stay at the top of the Kindle lists for some time to come. And if this book does a fraction of the business that AFRAID, his first Jack Kilborn horror novel, did as an ebook, then Joe is going to make a hell of a lot of money out of this...certainly more than he could would have made sticking with his publisher.

But I want to stress that I believe that Joe's success is the exception, not the rule. Mid-list or newbie authors who yank their books from publishers over editorial notes and go the Kindle route shouldn't expect to do nearly as well as he has. He is a very special case. 

Prior to his ebook success, Joe was doing well in print... and heavily promoted his books by attending dozens of conferences annually, sending out thousands of newsletters, and visiting hundreds of bookstores across the country (if I am not mistaken, I believe he landed in the Guiness Book of World Records for most bookstore signings in one year). He had a considerable blog presence and significant name recognition before embarking on this Kindle course. 

There's no question that Joe is blazing a trail in ebooks... and doing incredibly well at it. I am one of many authors who have benefitted from both his example and his great advice...but I fear that aspiring writers will read about his success and believe it's a short cut that will lead them to a pot of gold. And it's not. 

He paid a lot of dues, suffered a lot of rejection, honed his skills, and established a strong, professional reputation before he got where he is. That's very important to remember before you decide to follow his path...which, contrary to what you might think, isn't necessarily paved with gold. 

TV Main Title of the Week - Walter Brennan Edition

Speaking for the Dead Again

My buddy Paul Levine has brought To Speak For the Dead and Night Vision, the first two books in his acclaimed and beloved Jake Lassiter series, back in print in new Kindle editions. The rest of the books in the series will soon follow. These books are a steal at $2.99... and all the proceeds from the sale of To Speak For the Dead will go to the Four Diamonds Fund, which supports cancer treatment for kids at Penn State Hershey Children’s Hospital. So what are you waiting for?

Cover Story

Here are the new covers for MY GUN  HAS BULLETS, DEAD SPACE, and THE MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE, all designed by Carl Graves.  

 

GUN and SPACE share the gun/bullet hole motif because they feature the same hero and the same comedic tone. This is the most professional, and the best, MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE cover yet. I think I've finally got that one right.

I am confident, based on past experience, that I will see my sales go up as a result of the cleaner, simpler, more professional covers and the "branded" look that's consistent with the previous covers that Carl designed for me. 

Mr. Monk and the Nice Reviews

Now that the paperback of MR. MONK IN TROUBLE has come out, I've been getting a second wave of nice reviews for the book. For instance, here's a sampling of what Dana Mentink had to say on her blog: 

This book is a combination of satisfying mystery, hilarity and a shade of poignancy which is the flip side of Monk’s OCD. The reader is made aware every so often, that Monk’s gifts do not come without a price and at the core he is a lonely, frightened soul. Because he has Natalie, we can enjoy the fact that he cannot cut a pizza unless he’s brought along his string, compass, T square and level.

The fine folks at Gelati's scoop like the entire book series and say, in part:

The nice part of the novels for me is that Goldberg allows us to get inside the mind of Natalie as she helps Monk through the crisis du jour. Stottlemeyer, Disher, Natalie, & Monk take us on adventure after adventure through the course of the book series. Monk has gone to such locations as Hawaii, France & Germany. I found those installments to be some of Goldberg’s best work with the characters. Monk rarely leaves San Francisco, so I enjoyed the situations the cast of characters endured as Monk was being Monk, going on planes, trains and staying in different hotels (even numbers are a must). I think that through his narrative, Goldberg not only continued the characters’ story lines for us, but enhanced it and made them more enjoyable, believable, likeable and endearing.

And there's this rave of the German edition, MR. MONK UND MR. MONK from Swabian Touring Theatre. He says, in part and roughly translated:

When I heard this book was going back to 1850s, I was a little worried about how it would work. I should not have been. The flashbacks fit in seamlessly with the story and adds a whole new level of humor to the events. As always, the characters are sharp and the humor is wonderful. I laughed loudly and repeatedly. Nevertheless, there were some subtle character moments that made me really see things in a new light.

Thanks to all those bloggers for the great reviews!

New Cover for Dead Space

Carl Graves has designed a wonderful new cover for DEAD SPACE (aka BEYOND THE BEYOND).  There are new covers coming from him for MY GUN HAS BULLETS and MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE...and I'm real pleased with them, too. 

Pardon My Interruption

You may have noticed that I haven't been blogging as much lately. The last month or so has been very busy for me. I finished writing a MONK book (MR. MONK ON THE ROAD), wrote an episode (with William Rabkin) of the new A&E series THE GLADES, came up with the story for my next MONK, did a polish of my adaptation of Victor Gischler's GUN MONKEYS for the Big Name Star who is now attached, edited a book of essays by a dozen authors on tie-in writing to be published by the International Association of Media Tie-in Writers, and I prepared for a number of pitches, two of which still may pan out.

On top of that, I wrote an adaptation of one of my favorite western novels (and it looks like the financing for that might be coming through) and have been preparing to write & direct a short film in Kentucky in September based on my short story "Remaindered" (more about that later). 

Amidst all of that, there was the post-surgery physical therapy three-times-a-week for my arm (that's finally over). 

So blogging has fallen by the wayside and may remain so for a while. But at least I'm not alone... my brother Tod, who used to blog several times a week, hasn't posted anything new since May 23rd.

Tripping Through My Past

Thanks to John Zipperer's blog, I've been able to time-travel into my past through the articles I wrote for STARLOG magazine in the 1980s. John has been cataloging every single issue of STARLOG's run. Each of his blog posts inevitably brings back memories. There are many interviews that I've done that I've forgotten all about, like the one above with screenwriter W.D. Richter on the set of Big Trouble in Little China and one that I did with George Lucas (how could I forget that?). I am also astonished by how hard I worked. I often wrote three or more articles per month. For instnace, in one issue, I had interviews with  Kurt Russell, Martin Landau, and director Tobe Hooper..and in another I interviewed Bob Gale, Ray Bradbury, and Kim Cattrall. It's also interesting to see the wide assortment of people I talked to... directors, actors, producers, screenwriters, novelists, special effects experts. But it's clear to me that I was more interested in the writing of the movies and TV shows that I covered than anything else. No surprise there. It's also amusing for me to see how many of my UCLA Daily Bruin buddies (William Rabkin, Brian Lowry, Marc Weinberg), girlfriends (Karen E. Bender), and family members (my mom!) I talked into working for STARLOG, too.  

TV Main Title of the Week - Delayed Edition

Trouble with Mr. Monk in Trouble

I have heard from dozens of readers today that there are some blank pages in some copies of the paperback edition of MR. MONK IN TROUBLE. So I ran out to my local B&N and, sure enough, the copies I saw were partially blank on the copyright page, and pages 9, 20, and 33. Before you buy the book, be sure to double-check and make sure you don't have those blank pages! 

I have alerted my publisher, so hopefully they can recall those bad copies and get new ones out to the affected stores right away.

Wiley Royalty Grab

An important warning from The Authors Guild:

Wiley's Deceptive Letter to Bloomberg Press Authors: "We are pleased to inform you" that we will be slicing your royalties up to 50%

John Wiley & Sons acquired Bloomberg Press, the books division of Bloomberg, in March. At the end of April, it began sending a letter to hundreds of Bloomberg Press authors purporting to inform them "about a few differences in the accounting systems of Bloomberg and Wiley that it will be helpful for you to know about." 

While this sounds innocent enough, it isn't. If signed by an author, the letter is actually a contract amendment that will materially and adversely affect the royalty rates of many Bloomberg Press authors. 

Among other things, this contract amendment would: 

1. Change royalty rates based on retail list price to rates based on net receipts. We've reviewed several Bloomberg Press contracts. All provide for royalty payments based on the retail list price (although we understand that there may be many based on net receipts). The Wiley letter misleadingly presents this to the author as good news: "We are pleased to inform you that we will be paying your royalties on the net amount received..." This change will, for many authors, effectively slice royalties by up to 50% for some book sales. Wiley's letter fails to disclose that. 

2. Empower Wiley to keep an author's book in print with a lowball print on demand royalty of 5% of net receipts. (Bloomberg Press had no print on demand program.) The contract amendment, which provides no threshold level of sales for a work to be considered in print, essentially grants Wiley a perpetual right in an author's book for a pittance. The 5% of net receipts royalty rate for print on demand editions is as low as we've seen. 

We've asked an independent royalty auditor to review the affects of these contractual changes on royalty income. The royalty auditor found reductions of 24% to 43% using actual sales figures and applying Wiley's amendments. (The precise affect of the amendments will vary by title, depending on particular categories of sales of the work.) 

The Authors Guild strongly urges Bloomberg Press authors to not sign this letter without careful consideration. If you have received this letter, consult your agent or a publishing attorney or contact a lawyer in our legal department so you understand precisely how this amendment would affect your rights and royalties. Important: if you have already signed the letter and returned it to Wiley, contact our legal department immediately. Non-Guild members are welcome to contact us as well. All communications will, of course, be held in confidence. 

This is no way to do business. The letter is shocking from a publisher of Wiley's stature. In our view, Wiley should tear up any signed letters it has received and start over, forthrightly explaining to its new authors the contractual changes it is seeking and how this may affect their income and their right to terminate their publishing contracts. 

Read Me a Story

Every author should be lucky enough to hear their story read by a professional actor. It makes you appreciate nuances of character, and feel the "beat" of the story-telling, in ways that sometimes doesn't come across on the page.  It's one reason I enjoy listening to the audiobook versions of my MONK books -- they feel new to me even though I wrote them.

Tonight I went to WordTheatre's presentation of three short stories: TC Boyle's Three Quarters of the Way to Hell, James Salters' Such Fun, and my brother Tod Goldberg' s Walls. Gary Cole read Walls, Carla Gugino read Such Fun, and Gugino & Adrian Pasdar read Three Quarters of the Way to Hell. Cugino was the stand-out of the three actors, truly enlivening and enriching what she read, particularly in Boyle's story (where she was much stronger than the material she was reading). I am too close to Tod's story to be objective about it, but I thought Cole made some interesting choices, not all of them successful, but he still illuminated aspects of the story that I hadn't seen in the quite same way before, either when I read it or when I'd heard Tod read it. 

That's me, Gary Cole, and my brother Tod in the picture (you can click on it for a larger view, though it's hard to imagine me or Tod any larger than we already are). Cole and I chatted about a bit about MIDNIGHT CALLER -- he can't understand why the show hasn't come out on DVD yet. I said there's no logic to how those decisions are made... if there was, utter shit like Dom DeLuise's flop sitcom LOTSA LUCK wouldn't be on DVD. Is there anybody who wants to see Dom DeLuise for God's sake?

Naturally, Michael DeLuise was sitting right behind me.

Antiques Roadshow - Behind The Scenes

If, like me, you're a fan of the Antiques Roadshow, Marsha Bemko's book provides a fascinating peek behind-the-scenes. And even if you're not a fan, but simply love antiques, Antiques Roadshow: Behind the Scenes is full of great anecdotes and tips that will help you in your collecting. And if you aren't a fan of the show, or an antique collector, but are a student of television, you'll find this book packed with interesting producing info on the making of a reality series. There aren't many books about TV shows that can satisfy on so many levels and also be a pleasure to read -- but this one succeeds.

The book is written by AR's executive producer, who tells you how the series evolved, what you should (or shouldn't) bring to have appraised, how they decide which cities to visit and which appraisals they will put on the show. But that's not all. Bemko gives you deep background on all of the popular appraisers... and, as a bonus, gets them to share some tips on how to hone your own collecting skills. No book about AR would be complete, or satisfying, without a recap of some of their most memorable moments -- fleshing out what happened before, during, and best of all, after the appraisal. This is a breezy, informative and highly entertaining must-read for Antiques Roadshow fans.

Murder on the Boob Tube

 I love TV reference books, but John William Law's MURDER ON THE BOOK TUBE is, to put it bluntly, terrible in every way, factually worthless and devoid of any fresh information or thoughtful insights. The listings are superficial and generic to the point of uselessness and riddled with typographical errors and inept sentence structure.

Here are some examples from his listing for MANNIX. The typos are his, not mine:

"The show started off one one path, but changed courses after the first season and never strayed much after that."

"With less than spectacular ratings in season one, the changes were hoped to bring new live to the fledgling series"

"The showed featured an unsolved MANNIX case and use flashbacks of the original series along with present day Mannix back on the case"

And here's another example of his poor writing and proofing skills from his listing for IRONSIDE. Again, the errors and lack of punctuation are his, not mine:

"While the original series took place in San Francisco, little of the show was actually filmed there with some early location filming of the actors in popular locations and the footage would be intersperse through-out the season."

And, finally, here's an example from his listing for ELLERY QUEEN:

"At one point there were rumor's the younger Hutton might reprise his father's most famous character for a TV movie, but the closest he came was as the star of his own mystery series based on another famous detective when Timothy Hutton starred in A NERO WOLFE MYSTERY in 2001-2002."

The author hasn't done any meaningful research, hasn't interviewed anybody, and the "rare photos" he uses are merely amateurishly cropped, black-and-white scans of TV Guide covers. It's embarrassing and not worth $1, much less $14.95.

Which Cover Do You Like Best?

Which cover to do you like better? The current one...

Or Number Two...

Or Number Three...

Or none of the above?