A Writer's Life

More on Interactive Webcast

The folks at Maverick Entertainment have created this ad for the Oct 4, 6 p.m. interactive webcast, where I will be talking, and taking your questions, about the movie FAST TRACK and my MONK novels (Click on the image for a larger view). I'll be posting more details here over the next few days on how you can participate.

Polanski's Crime, Hollywood's Arrogance

Celebrity makes people stupid. That's the only explanation for Harvey Weinstein calling Roman Polanski's drugging, rape and sodomy of a 13-year-old girl a "so-called" crime, or Whoopi Goldberg shrugging it off as not a "rape-rape." Today, LA Times columnist Steve Lopez brilliantly summed up my feelings about the case...and,  I suspect, the feelings of anybody outside the entertainment industry, where it's assumed that anyone with talent, fame and an award statuette should get a free pass for illegal, immoral, and just plain inept behavior. Is it any wonder that Woody Allen supports Polanski? Lopez writes, in part: 

I'd like to show all these great luminaries the testimony from Polanski's underage victim, as well as Polanski's admission of guilt. Then I'd like to ask whether, if the victim were their daughter, they'd be so cavalier about a crime that was originally charged as sodomy and rape before Polanski agreed to a plea bargain. Would they still support Polanski's wish to remain on the lam living the life of a king, despite the fact that he skipped the U.S. in 1977 before he was sentenced?

[...] Yes, Polanski has known great tragedy, having survived the Holocaust and having lost his wife, Sharon Tate and their unborn son, to the insanity of the Charles Manson cult.

But that has no bearing on the crime in question.

His victim, who settled a civil case against Polanski for an unspecified amount, said she does not want the man who forced himself on her to serve additional time.

That's big-hearted of her but also irrelevant, and so is the fact that the victim had admitted to having sex with a boyfriend before meeting Polanski.

Polanski stood in a Santa Monica courtroom on Aug. 8, 1977, admitted to having his way with a girl three decades his junior and told a judge that indeed, he knew she was only 13.

There may well have been judicial misconduct.

But no misconduct was greater than allowing Polanski to cop a plea to the least of his charges. His crime was graphic, manipulative and heinous, and he got a pass. It's unbelievable, really, that his soft-headed apologists are rooting for him to get another one.

DiCaprio is Travis McGee

Variety reports that Leonardo DiCaprio has signed to portray Travis McGee in a movie version of John D.  MacDonald's THE DEEP BLUE GOODBYE . Dana Stevens wrote the script, and Peter Chernin will produce, but no director has been set yet. I have a hard time picturing DiCaprio as McGee, how about you?  

Why Are They Defending a Common Rapist?

Roman Polanski drugged, raped, and sodomized a 13-year-old girl and then fled to Europe to avoid imprisonment. If his name was Tyrell Washington, and he was black, and did everything Polanski did except direct movies, people would be thrilled that he was arrested. But because Polanski is an Oscar-winning director, we get abhorrent comments like these:

France's culture minister Frederic Mitterrand also criticized the U.S. "Seeing him alone, imprisoned while he was heading to an event that was due to offer him praise and recognition is awful," he said. "He was trapped. In the same way that there is a generous America that we like, there is also a scary America, and that has just shown its face."

In Germany, there was also support for the director. The Berlin Film Festival demanded Polanski be freed. "The Berlinale protests the arbitrary treatment of one of the world's most outstanding film directors," the fest said in a statement. "We declare our deep respect for Roman Polanski and we demand his immediate release."

The German Film Academy also condemned Polanski's detention. Academy presidents Senta Berger and Guenter Rohrbach said in a joint statement: "The German Film Academy finds it revolting that Roman Polanski has been arrested for an act committed more than 30 years ago."

I'm the father of a 14-year-old girl, maybe that's why I find all this anger over the arrest of a child rapist disgusting and infuriating. I don't care if he's made good movies. Why?

Because Roman Polanski drugged, raped and sodomized a 13-year-old girl...and fled the country rather than go to jail for his horrible crime. 

What is truly "revolting" is the defense of this criminal and the stunning hypocrisy that it represents. 

What the French government, German Film Academy and other fans of the director are saying is that raping a child, and being arrested for it thirty years later, is "awful" and "revolting" ... if the rapist happens to be a talented actor, writer or director. They don't seem capable of drawing a distinction between Polanski the director and Polanski the rapist. Yeah, his movies may be great, but he drugged, raped and sodomized a child...and then he ran.

We don't forgive other rapists for their crimes...we hunt them down. Why should Polanski be given special treatment? Because he's talented? Because he's married with kids? Because he's old? Because his now-adult victim has forgiven him? Because the judge may have intended to renege on a plea bargain and make Polanski do the prison time he deserved?

Hell no. Why? Because there's a message here, folks. And the message is:  you can't drug, rape and sodomize children and run from the law. You will be punished for your heinous crimes.

How would Polanski feel if someone drugged, raped and sodomized his children? Would he want the rapist to walk free if he has directing talent?

I know that the French government, or the Berlin Film Festival judges, would be making the same appeals on behalf of a black American plumber who'd committed the same crime. We all know it.

I, for one, am pleased that the Justice Department has not given up, has not been blinded by celebrity, and has finally nailed him. I hope they drag him back here and make him do his time.

Talked to Death

Denis McGrath was talking about fanfic on his blog the other day, and happened to mention my many discussions here on the same topic, prompting someone to comment:

I find your posts re: fanfic far more fun because you actually address the issue whereas poor Lee, who is usually so eloquent, seems to be rendered a name-calling child in the face of the issue, unable to put an actual argument together. Just because he is on the side that is obviously right doesn't mean that slanging nasty words around is sufficient advocacy or even entertaining commentary.

Denis replied, saying what I might have said if I wasn't guilty of exactly what the commenter said.

To be perfectly honest? I think he's just been at it longer than I have. My recent experiences on the Copyright brief have kind of siphoned off my good humor and goodwill, too. There comes a point where you've made the arguments, and when you face utter illogic, misinformation and misunderstanding, that you lose that humor.

I couldn't have put it better myself. I've made the rational, coherent, good-humored arguments 10,000 times...and that's  just if you count my posts on the topic when I was producing SEAQUEST. I ended up writing a book about that experience (BEYOND THE BEYOND) and, to be honest, I think I do a better job dealing with the fanfic issues now in a fictional context (eg my novel MR. MONK IN OUTER SPACE and my Diagnosis Murder episode MUST KILL TV) than I have done here lately.

I fear I am reaching the same point of humorlessness, repetition, and lack of clarity when I discuss the vanity presses that prey on the desperation and gullibility of aspiring writers.  At a certain point, you say everything you have to say, in every way you can possibly say it, and it might just be better to drop the whole thing (which I have largely done on the fanfic stuff, except when highlighting a special case, like the delusional woman who is writing & publishing her own TWILIGHT sequel).

But the vanity press thing is something else altogether. I'm not going to stop talking about those scams because it is so important to alert writers about them. But I'm dialing it down in that department, too, as you may have noticed.

Technology Rendering Some Cliches Obsolete

My daughter asked me what it meant when my wife told her that she sounded "like a broken record." I realized that technology was leaping way ahead of our cliches, rendering many of them obsolete to entire generations. 

I explained to her that  for years, people listened to music was on vinyl records, and that the music was picked up with a phonographic needle. A scratch on the album would cause the needle to skip and a piece of the song to repeat over and over and over again, much like her constant nagging for an iPhone.

"What a stupid way to listen to music," she said. "A needle?"

So now I'm wondering what are some other common, cliche phrases that are likely to make no sense at all to anyone born after 1990? 

(I guess referring to television as "the tube" makes no sense anymore. Same for "dialing a number.") 

FAME Doesn't Live Forever

I got a laugh from the first paragraph of Betsy Sharkey's review of FAME in today's Los Angeles Times:

"Fame," it turns out, is not going to live forever. It's officially DOA. Call the coroner. Then call in the top teams from "CSI," and that sexy pair from "Bones" while you're at it, because if ever there was a crime scene that should be yellow-taped and relentlessly investigated this is it.

Mr. Monk and the Librarian

Gerard Saylor, librarian at the ND Fargo Public Library in beautiful downtown Lake Mills, Wisconson, really likes MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY and my buddy Scott Phillips' COTTONWOOD as you can see in his YouTube review, recorded in the soon-to-be-demolished library annex.

Live Author Chat/Interactive Webcast with Me

I'll be hosting a Live Author Chat/Webcast on Sunday, Oct 4 at 6pm PST...talking about my latest MONK book, MR. MONK IN TROUBLE & the Oct. 6 DVD release of my movie FAST TRACK: NO LIMITS. The cast of FAST TRACK is also scheduled to participate. But best of all, ANYONE ANYWHERE can join in by going to: 

http://live.expandedbooks.com/lee-goldberg 

Or you can talk to me, and everyone else who is watching, VIA WEBCAM...all you have to do is send an email first, with your Skype username, to: 

info@expandedbooks.com

Expanded Books will connect you via Skype so you can participate in the show....and be seen by people all over the world. 

Live Author Chat is a new service from Expanded Books that uses cutting-edge video streaming and television technology to broadcast author chats in real time, via the web. Each chat is a fully produced and customized live webshow where up to four people can communicate with each other simultaneously via video webcam while many more participate via chat and tens of thousands

 worldwide can watch. The conversation happens in real time, while the Expanded Books team directs the show from their studio in Los Angeles. You can expect a lively conversation between me at home, fans on webcams, and chat participants, while the directorial team switches between the four multiple webcams, book covers, clips from MONK & FAST TRACK, and much more. I hope you'll watch...or, better yet, take part in the fun!

UPDATE 9/26/09: We are doing a live test run of the broadcast this Sunday, Sept. 27 at 4 pm PST. Here's the link:

http://live.expandedbooks.com/channels/3/with_player. 

You are welcome to log in ...or send your Skype username to info@expandedbooks.com to participate by webcam.

Tom Selleck is Happily Stoned

I'm a big fan of Tom Selleck's JESSE STONE movies. I like them even more than the Robert B. Parker books that they are based on. The movies do very, very well for CBS, but that doesn't stop the network from inexplicably sitting on them for as long as a year before airing them. The sixth movie NO REMORSE, has been on the shelf since January, the seventh is currently shooting in Halifax, and Selleck tells Variety that he'd like to do an eighth...and see CBS broadcast two a year to add some regularity to what amounts to network television's last successful, TV movie franchise.

"We don't do cliffhangers. The movies stand on their own. But with regular viewing the audience gets the bonus of a continuing backstory," Selleck said. "People want to know what's going to happen with this guy. He's basically a decent guy with a lot of flaws. He's his own worst enemy...but he's a guy you want to root for.

He's got other TV and film prospects, but there's something special about Jesse Stone for Selleck -- perhaps because he feels like complicated cop is carrying the flag for the longform biz on network TV.

"There's a market for us," Selleck said. "We're proving that the network TV audience does want to see movies -- they just want to see good movies."

Harvey Mapes Isn't Forgotten

I was stunned today to stumble on Ed Gorman's unexpected tribute to my novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE. He says, in part:

Iron-On is a book that will keep you laughing and smiling all the way through. If you have any affection for the private eye novel, this book should be required reading because in addition to gently spoofing the form it is a story so rich in character and story twists it's truly masterful.[...]But more than the comedy, the beautifully designed plot and the snapshots of La La Land--more than any other element in the book, it's Harvey's voice you'll remember. There's a workaday universality to it that gives the novel its wit and insight and truth.

Thank you, Ed. I'm truly flattered. It is my favorite book of all the ones that I've written. I hope that it's published in trade paperback someday...and does well enough to justify a sequel.

Housekeeping

Sorry I have been more or less absent here. I've been working on my second draft of GRACE UNDER FIRE,  a German/Chinese co-production that's tentatively scheduled to be shot in English in early 2010  in Berlin and Shanghai. I got that draft out in the wee hours of the morning today and will probably notes on the polish at the end of the week. 

I've also been working on a couple of TV series pitches with some well-known actors and writing MR. MONK IS CLEANED OUT, my 10th Monk novel, which is due to my publisher very soon.  I'm having a great time with it. 

Outside of my writing life, I've had work to do as membership committee chair for Mystery Writers of America and president of my home owners association. So I couldn't justify spending three hours watching the Emmys last night. It's on my Tivo, but I doubt I'll ever get to it, even to scroll through. I've got two new MONK episodes and the premiere of BORED TO DEATH to catch up on. But today, with the script done (for now), I'm going to concentrate on the Monk book and see if I can make some significant progress this week before other projects demand attention... 

Mr. Monk and the Piss Poor Review

Steven Torres, who reviews short stories at the Nasty, Brutish and Short blog, has given my story "The Case of the Piss Poor Gold" a rave. He says, in part:

This story, however, is not about ADRIAN Monk. It's about a distant relative, Artemis Monk who solves crimes (in his spare time) in a California gold rush town that's still in its unclean infancy.[...] this story is more than just a good puzzle (or two, Monk also quickly wraps up a murder - his powers are prodigous). It is also a good portrait of a mining town and its inhabitants, paying particular attention to the dirt. More importantly for me, the story had me laugh out loud a couple of times, and that is a terribly difficult thing to do on paper. Most funny lines die once written down, but not in Goldberg's hands. That's magic. Well worth the price of the latest Ellery Queen.

Thanks, Steve! 

Stephen King's Rough Draft

Stephen King's upcoming novel UNDER THE DOME is a reworking of a manuscript called THE CANNIBALS that he wrote and abandoned in 1989 which, itself, was a rethink of a novel he abandoned in the late 1970s. King is sharing the first sixty, original, typed pages...with his handwritten changes...of that 1989 manuscript on his website and it's a fascinating peek into how he works.

(Thanks to Duane Swierczynski for the link)

My Job is to Write

Writer-producer Diane Ademu-John pointed me to this excellent blog post by author John Scalzi on dealing with strangers who want screenwriters and novelists to read their  work, listen to their pitches, etc. He says, in part:

Dear currently unpublished/newbie writers who spend their time bitching about how published/established writers are mean because they won’t read your work/introduce you to their agent/give your manuscript to their editor/get you a job on their television show/whatever other thing it is you want them to do for you: A few things you should know.

1. The job of a writer is to write. So, I’m looking at one of my book contracts. It says that I need to write a certain type of book (science fiction) of a certain length (100,000 words) by a certain time (er… Hmmm). In return, I get paid a certain amount of money. So that’s the gig.

Here’s what’s not in the contract:

1. That I critique the novels of other people; 

2. That I offer any advice to people on how to get published; 

3. That I arrange introductions to my agent, editor or publisher; 

4. That I do any damn thing, in fact, other than write the book I’ve agreed to write.

The job of a writer is to write.

To which you may say, “Yes, but –” To which I say, you’ve gone one word too far in that sentence.

The rest of the piece is just as brilliant. He's basically saying the same things that Josh Olsen did, only without the anger and profanity that turned off a lot of people.

Farscaping with Carleton

There's a great interview with my buddy Carleton Eastlake over at The Write Blog, talking about his experiences writing & producing shows like BURNING ZONE, SEAQUEST, FARSCAPE, and OUTER LIMITS. He says, in part:

I think good science fiction and fantasy, because they break some or many of the rules of the real world, require that the rules of the imagined world be interesting and consistently applied. So much more attention needs to be paid to the mythology. At the same time, there’s more room, if done in a credible way, to keep things fresh by evolving those rules, making new discoveries…here come The Borg with all sorts of new moral and psychological issues – and very different spacecraft!

On the other hand, it’s a little harder to keep the dramatic, psychological side of a science-fiction show compelling. It’s easier to ignore those concerns or be distracted from them. But if the show is consistent about its rules, then the character side of the show can absolutely work. Crichton and Aeryn on Farscape were very much in love and very much troubled by the moral conflict between running away and having a life, or staying and fighting to save their societies.

It’s also important in a science fiction show that the plot issue of the day be motivated by the implications of the world the show is set in. Attempts to do actual medical or criminal or legal procedural shows in a science fiction setting are very, very hard to pull off – the science fiction side undermines the credibility of the procedural issue, and the procedural issue rarely delivers on the magic and wonder of the setting.

Grimhaven

I finally read Charles Willeford's unpublished novel GRIMHAVEN...and its fascinating. It bears a lot of similarity to some of his earlier books and is every bit as compelling, disturbing, and darkly funny. In some ways, its among his best books. But what is most striking about it is what it represents.

The book centers around Hoke Moseley, the unforgettable detective in Willeford's classic, break-through novel MIAMI BLUES. But that novel, and success, came late in Willeford's life. When he was asked to write a sequel to capitalize on his newfound fame, he did the unexpected. 

He wrote a book in which Hoke leaves the force, moves into a drab apartment, and works in his father's hardware store. Hoke attempts to live a life of extreme austerity, cutting his wardrobe down to just two jumpsuits (and no underwear) and eating a hard-boiled egg each day for lunch, among other things. Into this carefully constructed, cold life, come his two teenage daughters, abandoned by his ex-wife, who has run off to L.A. to live with a baseball player. They complicate his life and stretch his thin budget. So Hoke solves this problem by strangling his daughters and leaving their bodies on ice in his shower (which he continues to use to wash up each day). He eventually dumps the bodies in his father's empty home and drives to Los Angeles to murder his ex-wife. The only reason he wants to kill her is so he can be imprisoned in California, where he'd face death in the gas chamber for her murder as opposed to the electric chair in Florida for killing his daughters. Either way, Hoke figures he can enjoy ten good, solitary years in prison, enjoying the austere "simple life" he'd wanted,  before his inevitable execution.  

I enjoyed the book immensely on several levels. But its real literary value is what it tells us about Willeford the writer. It's like a 2oo page statement on Willeford's fear of success...and his resentment at the demands and challenges writing commercial fiction would place on him. Or so I assume, I didn't know the man and I'm not a shrink. But what other way is there to read it? 

Taken on its own, GRIMHAVEN is a masterful piece of work and pure, unadulterated Willeford. As a MIAMI BLUES sequel, it's a calculated fuck you to the character, the publisher,  the readers and his career. It would be like following up the pilot of MONK by having Adrian rape and murder Sharona, then dispose of her body with acid in his bathtub.

Naturally, Willeford's agent took one look at the GRIMHAVEN manuscript and said there was no way in hell he could send it to the publisher...it would be career suicide and would squander a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Willeford wisely took his agent's advice and shelved the book...but not entirely. He ended up cannibalizing its best parts, and making them even better, in the three fantastic Hoke Moseley books that followed. 

GRIMHAVEN is only legally available to be read at the Willeford Archive at the Broward County Library. I was fortunate to be sent the manuscript a few years ago from Willeford's widow (as a result of refusing to read a bootleg copy that was offered to me). I don't know why I waited so long to finally read it...but it was worth the wait. It's a fascinating piece of work...and a revealing glimpse into Charles Willeford creative life. 

New Tricks Becoming Old Tricks

Broadcast magazine reports that the UK mystery series NEW TRICKS, about a bunch of retired cops solving crimes, has been picked up for two more seasons, guaranteeing the show at least an eight season run. That said, their idea of a "season" is eight 60-minute episodes. So, after eight years, they will have made as many episodes as a typical American network series does in three. 

The UK Loves Its Crime Writers

Broadcast reports that ITV3, a UK TV network, has struck a deal with the Crimes Writers Association to air their awards and run documentaries on their nominees.

ITV3 has secured the Crime Thriller Awards for another three years, after signing a deal with Specsavers, Cactus TV and the Crime Writers Association.ITV3 will broadcast a six-week season of crime and drama programming each year and Cactus will produce 6x 60-minute docs profiling nominated authors ahead of the awards’ broadcast.

Can you imagine an American network striking a deal like that with the Mystery Writers of America?

I Will Not Read Your F--king Script, Part 2

Yesterday, I talked about how Josh Olson wrote a great piece explaining why he won't reading your script...and that, on the same day that I read his article, I had an experience that proved him right. Here's what happened. A stranger wrote me:

I have a great idea for a TV series...oops, you've heard that a million times. But really I do. Can I send you the Treatment I have written and get some help pitching it?

I replied:

Nope. (And you are the 27th person to ask me that today. No kidding. And the day isn't over yet).

...and I sent him a link to Olson's piece. And within minutes, he was twittering things like this:

Sick of arrogant TV writers who write crap that we have to watch on TV.

And this:

I am talking about Lee Goldberg...what a f'n snob...and he sucks.

Today, he sent me this note:

I joined Facebook in part, my arrogant friend, to sell my book and to network. That is what Facebook is for in part, as well as reconnecting with family and old friends. Therefore, I reached out to you to network. But like the arrogant prick you are, instead of simply saying no thanks, or ignoring my request, you slap me around as if I was a moron. I had a bad day yesterday, involving one of my children, and didn't need your snotty lecture. So go away. I get your drift. You got lucky and think you are somebody now. But know this, my arrogant friend, what you dish out to the world comes back to you.

And the replies from his friends to his twitters reflected a similar point-of-view:

fuck Lee Goldberg and his arrogance. He lives in a phony world of recycling idiot ideas. Perhaps I'm missing something, but has any Hollywood writer *lately* managed to write a good work of fiction? I dunno, perhaps Lee Goldberg has some sort of defense for that episode of "She Spies" that he helped write in committee.

And this from the guy who initially wrote me:

What does Lee Goldberg write - that Monk nonsense? That's why I spend the evening (when not writing or reading) flipping through the numbing crap on TV that is written by the arrogant "professionals" full of themselves that they can't mentor a struggling author along.

Of course, he thought well enough of me to hit me up to read his stuff...I became an arrogant asshole and author of mind-numbing crap after I said no.

I am stunned by the arrogance of these people, telling me that my professional success isn't the result of talent or hard work, but rather it is some kind of entitlement. And that by not reading their work, or listening to their ideas, or coaching them on pitching, I am an asshole. My time is their time to do with as they please. They also assume that I am not interested in helping anyone else achieve what I have.

These jerks know nothing about me, or the time and effort I devote to sharing my experience with others. They don't know about the many days I spend each year teaching TV writing, giving seminars, or speaking about writing at high schools, universities, conferences, and libraries locally, nationwide and around the world, mostly for free. 

In the last six weeks, for example, I spent seven days at the International Mystery Writers Festivalin Owensboro, Kentucky teaching, speaking, and moderating seminars on tv and mystery writing to the public. At no charge. I taught a three-hour course on TV writing to students at Cal State Northridge. At no charge. And I spent a day giving a seminar on TV writing to a delegation from China Central Television.

But what I didn't do is drop everything in my life to read some stranger's treatment, listen to his idea for a TV series, and coach him on how to pitch. 

So obviously I am an arrogant, talentless, asshole.

I have committed the unforgiveable sin of deciding how to use my time and how best to give back to others. And not letting some stranger decide for me. 

So, when it comes to this guy and all those outraged, wanna-be writers who they think own me and my time, I think Josh Olson really nailed it when he said:

I will not read your fucking script.

UPDATE 9-11-09: The pissed off stranger who wanted me to read his treatment has responded. What follows is his email to me, verbatim, minus the title and link to his self-published "manifesto" on new belief system that will revolutionize society.

Blah, blah, blah. Whippy shit. Whining ahole. If you spent all the time trashing me trying to help me instead, we might both have a better feeling about you. Doth protest too much, my friend. You have a guilty conscience as you should. Hard work, my ass, you got lucky, friend, pure and simple. Given the chance, I would write you off the page.

And look who's talking about people skills. All you had to do numbnut, was ignore me, or give me a website where to send my treatment, an address, something. Instead, you bastard, you give me a snide, insensitive stupid article. And a bunch of messages that are just pure mean-spirited. I might be dying of cancer or have a kid dying of cancer, but you don't care.

Who says I want to succeed in Hollywood anyway - if it's populated by untalented, arrogant mean-spirited likes of you, I don't need it. It will be TV's loss not to have my treatment.

Read my book, XYZ

Know what it says, you strunes - death is the only reality. I will certainly see you at some point there, in some afterlife. And maybe I'll buy you a beer, and then again, maybe I won't.

.357 VIGILANTE: #4 KILLSTORM

 KILLSTORM, the long lost fourth novel in the .357 VIGILANTE series...never before published, now available for the first time anywhere in this special Kindle Edition.

Brett Macklin faces his greatest adversary yet -- a ruthless, professional hit woman, seductress and master of disguise who launches a campaign of terror and bloodshed against him, pushing the vigilante to the emotional and physical breaking point, unleashing a bloody killstorm on the L.A. streets.

"As stunning as the report of a .357 Magnum, a dynamic premiere effort [...] The Best New Paperback Series of the year!" West Coast Review of Books

THE STORY BEHIND THE BOOK

The adventures of Brett Macklin, the .357 VIGILANTE, were published by Pinnacle Books in 1985 as part of their popular line of "men's action adventure novels," which included such classics as THE DESTOYER, THE EXECUTIONER, THE PENETRATOR, and THE DEATH MERCHANT, to name just a few.

The first three books in the .357 VIGILANTE series were enormously successful. The movie rights were sold to New World Pictures. The fourth book, KILLSTORM, was only a few months away from publication in 1986 and a fifth novel was in the works...when Pinnacle abruptly went out of business.

For years, the .357 VIGILANTE books were locked up in a protracted bankruptcy proceeding before the rights to all the books, including the unpublished manuscript, finally reverted back to me.

Now, for the first time anywhere, KILLSTORM is finally "in print," twenty five years after it was written....

THE OTHER BOOKS IN THE SERIES

.357 VIGILANTE

.357 VIGILANTE #2 MAKE THEM PAY

.357 VIGILANTE #3 WHITE WASH

and

.357 VIGILANTE: DIE, MR. JURY...all four books in one volume.

.357 VIGILANTE: DIE, MR. JURY

All of my out-of-print .357 VIGILANTE novels, including the never-before-published fourth novel KILLSTORM, have been compiled into one Kindle edition --- .357 VIGILANTE: DIE, MR. JURY. 

This is the complete saga of Brett Macklin, a one-man army fighting a war on terror on the streets of Los Angeles in the mid-1980s...

.357 VIGILANTE #1

.357 VIGILANTE #2: MAKE THEM PAY

.357 VIGILANTE #3: WHITE WASH

.357 VIGILANTE #4: KILLSTORM

"As stunning as the report of a .357 Magnum, a dynamic premiere effort [...] The Best New Paperback Series of the year!" West Coast Review of Books, 1985

You can also find the compilation on Smashwords and Scribd in multiple e-formats.

The Mail I Get

Those incompetent hucksters at Bookwhirl are back. This week they cold-called a major, A-list novelist I know, offering him their inept "services." The guy who called my friend, who is a household name, sounded like someone from Dell Customer Support in India and had no idea who he was speaking to.

Even though I have repeatedly trashed Bookwhirl here on my blog, today I got a solicitation from them. It was from "Marketing Consultant" Melissa Adams, who apparently hasn't mastered English yet:

I came across your book, “Mr. Monk is Miserable” and I find it very interesting. Our company, Bookwhirl.com is really interested to help you in promoting your book/s online because we find out that your book/s deserves to be recognized

And that's the most coherent paragraph in her pitch. Imagine how dumb and gullible someone would have to be to hire these dimwits. I wrote her back and suggested that she take a few English courses before trying to portray herself as an expert in promotion.

Mr. Monk and the Character Name

Critic Bill Peschel found it unsettling that I named a character after him in MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP, but he says he didn't let that influence his opinion of of the book. He gave it a rave review anyway. He says, in part:

To thank me for helping with a previous “Monk” book, Lee Goldberg asked if I would mind being killed for your entertainment in “Mr. Monk and the Dirty Cop.” I said yes, pleased at the prospect of contributing to a novel without actually going to the trouble of writing it. [...]As I kept encountering my name, I felt more and more uncomfortable. Seeing one’s name in print associated with this character causes a disassociation with my self-image of the employed writer, father, and husband. Sometimes, it felt like I could feel a gear slipping in my head, so it was something of a relief when I’m finally killed. Fortunately, there’s plenty to appreciate about the book.

[...]The Monk books not only capture the pleasures of the TV show, but add to it by deepening our understanding of the characters. It’s a testament to Goldberg’s energy and inventiveness that he’s been able to do it successfully for eight books.

Thanks, Bill. It was a pleasure murdering you.

Josh Olsen will not read your f--king script

I know a lot of screenwriters who can sympathize with Josh Olsen, who wrote a column in the Village Voice about all the reasons why he "will not read your fucking script." He writes, in part:

Which brings us to an ugly truth about many aspiring screenwriters: They think that screenwriting doesn't actually require the ability to write, just the ability to come up with a cool story that would make a cool movie. Screenwriting is widely regarded as the easiest way to break into the movie business, because it doesn't require any kind of training, skill or equipment. Everybody can write, right? And because they believe that, they don't regard working screenwriters with any kind of real respect. They will hand you a piece of inept writing without a second thought, because you do not have to be a writer to be a screenwriter.

[...]What they want is a few tough notes to give the illusion of honesty, and then some pats on the head. What they want--always--is encouragement, even when they shouldn't get any. Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell someone that they've spent a year wasting their time? Do you know how much blood and sweat goes into that criticism? Because you want to tell the truth, but you want to make absolutely certain that it comes across honestly and without cruelty. I did more rewrites on that fucking e-mail than I did on my last three studio projects.

I found this article especially timely since today I received over two dozen requests from complete strangers to read their scripts or listen to their great ideas for TV series. Here's one I got just a few minutes ago from a stranger on Facebook:

I have a great idea for a TV series...oops, you've heard that a million times. But really I do. Can I send you the Treatment I have written and get some help pitching it?

The answer was no. I will not read scripts from strangers unless, of course, I am running a show and I've asked agents to send me samples to read for assignments, staff jobs, etc. But I will read scripts from my good friends...and I will occasionally ask them to return the favor. And I certainly will never, ever listen to a TV series idea from someone I don't know...most of whom, of course, aren't screenwriters, just someone who is convinced they are more clever than the thousands of professional writers, producers and directors who are pitching series to the networks every day.

UPDATE:  Within minutes after I told the stranger that I wouldn't read his treatment or give him pitching advice, he wrote this in his Facebook update:

Sick of arrogant TV writers who write crap that we have to watch on TV.

and

I am talking about Lee Goldberg...what a f'n snob...and he sucks.

I wasn't a fucking snob, and I didn't suck, until I told him I wouldn't read his treatment and help him pitch it. This reaction from him proves a point Josh Olsen made in his column:

I will not read your fucking script. At this point, you should walk away, firm in your conviction that I'm a dick. But if you're interested in growing as a human being and recognizing that it is, in fact, you who are the dick in this situation, please read on.

Yes. That's right. I called you a dick. Because you created this situation. You put me in this spot where my only option is to acquiesce to your demands or be the bad guy. That, my friend, is the very definition of a dick move.

[...]You are not owed a read from a professional, even if you think you have an in, and even if you think it's not a huge imposition. It's not your choice to make. This needs to be clear--when you ask a professional for their take on your material, you're not just asking them to take an hour or two out of their life, you're asking them to give you--gratis--the acquired knowledge, insight, and skill of years of work. It is no different than asking your friend the house painter to paint your living room during his off hours.

How Did I Miss This?

Glorianna Arias, aka Lady Sybilla, the delusional fanficcer who plans to self-publish her own TWILIGHT novel entitled RUSSET NOON, has launched a blog where she's sharing chapters from her upcoming, craptastic opus...

"The reason we continue to move forward with the publication of Russet Noon as a paperback novel is because we are confident that there are no grounds for a lawsuit. We do not intend to make a profit from this venture, and any books we publish will be given out for free. The only difference between Russet Noon and other Twilight fanfics is that Russet Noon will be a free paperback novel."

What she meant is that she no longer intends to make a profit from the book...but she once did. Arias was taking orders for the book on her website and on ebay until word got out about it. 

But this story keeps getting better...and weirder. Arias has announced that she's going to self-publish a "tell-all" book entitled LADY SYBILLA'S MANIFESTO: THE TRUTH BEHIND THE 'RUSSET NOON' CONTROVERSY. 

You will be able to find the book online and in the gift shops of  mental hospitals nationwide in January. 

I can't wait.

Idris Elba Stars in new BBC Series

Broadcast reports that Idris Elba, who played "Stringer Bell" on THE WIRE, will star in the new BBC detective series LUTHOR, written and created by SPOOKS writer Neil Cross, who describes the title character as a “near-genius murder detective whose brilliant mind can’t always save him from the dangerous violence of his passions”.

Whereas traditional whodunits search for the murderer, each hour-long episode of the new drama will identify the culprit from the start, focusing attention on the dynamic – and similarities – between the detective and the murderer.

The series will air in Autumn 2010. No word yet on whether it will be carried stateside on BBC America or not. Cross also writes for the ITV series THE FIXER, one of my favorites (about a hitman working for a secret police unit), so I have high hopes for this show.

.357 Flashback

I've created Kindle editions of my out-of-print, 1985 paperbacks .357 VIGILANTE #3 WHITE WASH and .357 VIGILANTE #4 KILLSTORM ...but it will be another six or seven days before they're "live" on Amazon.  

So in the meantime, I have posted the entire VIGILANTE series, in multiple e-book formats, on Smashwords and in PDF format on Scribd. Here are the links:

.357 Vigilante #1 by Ian Ludlow Smashwords / Scribd

.357 Vigilante #2 Make Them Pay Smashwords / Scribd

.357 Vigilante #3 White Wash  Smashwords / Scribd

.357 Vigilante #4 Killstorm  Smashwords / Scribd

This is the first time KILLSTORM has been available anywhere on earth. Pinnacle Books, the original publisher of the .357 VIGILANTE series, went out-of-business on the eve of the book’s scheduled publication in 1986. Although the cover painting was completed, and the book was typeset, it never went to press. I couldn't find a copy of the galley, so I scanned my original manuscript, written back in 1984 while I was still a UCLA student. It's a relic from the past, full of dated references to the politics, culture, and technology of the time...not to mention all the cliches of the men's action/adventure fiction that Pinnacle was churning out. But don't let that stop you from buying it!

UPDATE 9-7-2009: It might be a little while longer before those two titles are available for the Kindle...Amazon has asked me to prove that I am, indeed, "Ian Ludlow," and that I have the e-rights to the books. So I have to dig up my reversion of rights letter, which I got way back in 1995. I hope I can find it! I guess Amazon has really been stung by people uploading books that they don't actually own...

Florida Sues Writers Literary Agency

The Florida Sun Sentinel reports that the state attorney general has filed a lawsuit against Robert Fletcher, aka Writers Literary Agency, for defrauding authors:

The so-called Writer's Literary Agency used more than 20 websites and related companies to collect money from writers, who paid fees from $89 to $600 for critiques, editing and marketing of manuscripts, according to the Attorney General's Office.

The state's lawsuit says few books were ever sold as the result of company owner Robert Fletcher's efforts.

More than 175 complaints were filed from around the world about Fletcher, who admitted to having no background as a literary agent and to using at least 10 aliases in his businesses.

The lawsuit seeks to prevent Fletcher from future business ventures in the literary field, restitution for his victims and fines.

This is great news. You may recall that Fletcher unsuccessfully sued Writer Beware for exposing his activities. It would be nice if other state attorney generals were as aggressive about shutting down scam literary agents and vanity press "publishers." Even so, I'm hoping this will have a chilling affect on similar activities by others who prey on aspiring authors.

Bronson's Loose!

You don't have to be a DEATH WISH fan -- and I'm not -- to enjoy BRONSON'S LOOSE! THE MAKING OF THE DEATH WISH FILMS, a highly entertaining and informative book about the making of the cult classic Charles Bronson vigilante film and its lesser (and inevitable) sequels. Author Paul Talbot has done a remarkable job, interviewing all the major players behind the development and production of the DEATH WISH movies (including Brian Garfield, the author of the original novel), and delivering a tight little book that is packed solid with fascinating details and wonderful anecdotes. I strongly recommend it to anyone interested in screenwriting and movie-making. It's a lot of fun to read. 

This is not a new book -- it was self-published by Talbot in 2007 through iUniverse. I don't know if that's because it was rejected by every publisher in NY, or if he opted from the get-go to do it himself. Either way, it's a shame it wasn't picked up by a major publisher, its a book that deserves a wide distribution and critical recognition.

Pondering the Ponderosa and Steve Cannell

I've been reading a bunch of TV and movie reference books lately, most of which have been a disappointment. 

There's a great book to be written about the writing and production of BONANZA, something akin to the brilliant and comprehensive GUNSMOKE: A COMPLETE HISTORY. Sadly, A REFERENCE GUIDE TO BONANZA by Bruce Leiby and Linda F. Lieby, now out in paperback, isn't it. A scant eight pages --- eight pages!-- are given to the creation, writing and production of the show. The bulk of the book is a workman-like episode guide to the 14 seasons and brief synopses of the TV movies, hardly worth the price of purchase. The only thing interesting and worthwhile about the book are the appendices listing various BONANZA merchandise, books, comics, and records. However, I wish the effort the authors put into gathering so much pointless information -- like listing all the shows available on video featuring Tim Matheson -- had been focused instead on giving us the definitive history of the show. Consider this a lost opportunity.

The same can be said of STEPHEN J. CANNELL TELEVISION PRODUCTIONS: A HISTORY OF ALL SERIES & PILOTS by Jon Abbott. While the book is far more substantive and detailed than the BONANZA book, it draws entirely on previously published articles and books. The author, based in the UK, doesn't appear to have actually interviewed anyone himself, either at Cannell or at studios or the networks that Cannell worked for. The one person he should have talked to, and didn't, was Steve Cannell, the subject of his book. That is a glaring and crippling fault, obvious in every chapter. The author tries to make-up for that major weakness by relying heavily on his own ponderous and uinformed commentary (often repetitive, obvious and pointless), his critical overview (often meaningless and ridiculously fannish) and his interpretation of events (often dead wrong). That was a big mistake. What is especially irritating is the author's tendancy to make an assumption, and then afterwards treat it as fact. For example, in the RICHIE BROCKLEMAN chapter, he writes:

"The intention may have originally been to introduce the aggravating Brockleman into THE ROCKFORD FILES as a semi-regular partner for Rockford (to take some of the pressure off Garner's aching back). Fortunately, reason prevailed, and the character was instead written into the 1976 pilot film before surfacing in a double-length 1978 episode of ROCKFORD."

Most of the Cannell series, even from his days at Universal, are given full chapters and sketchy (to the point of almost being useless) episode guides...but after UNSUB, for reasons not explained, only passing reference is given to TOP OF THE HILL, BOOKER, BROKEN BADGES, 100 LIVES OF BLACK JACK SAVAGE, PALACE GUARD, MISSING PERSONS, THE LAST PRECINCT, COBRA, STREET JUSTICE, HAWKEYE, MARKER and three of his all-time biggest hits, RENEGADE, THE COMMISH and SILK STALKINGS. Perhaps the author just wasn't able to get video tapes of those shows from his circle of collectors, who he thanks in his acknowledgments, which noticeably doesn't include the names of any people associated with Stephen J. Cannell Productions or his shows. It begs the question -- why didn't he actually talk to anybody? I know many of these writers, producers and directors, and I can tell you, they aren't hard to find or unwilling to share their experiences. Maybe he couldn't afford the long-distance phone calls. 

All that said, there is a lot of useful information in the book and, since the definitive book on Cannell has yet to be written, this is not a bad place-holder until somebody writes it (hopefully, Cannell himself will do it some day!). 

The Angel's Game

I read THE ANGEL'S GAME by Carlos Ruiz Zafon because my brother Tod gave it such a glowing review. And, at first, it seemed like the book more than deserved the praise.

The book starts out brilliantly, rich in a character, humor, and a powerful sense of place. I was utterly captivated. I couldn't wait to keep reading. I felt I was reading a truly great book, one I was certain would become a beloved favorite of mine.

I was so in love, that I was willing to overlook a nagging flaw -- in a story where language and the craft of writing mean so much, where the writer himself aims a spotlight on authorial laziness ("Don Basilo [...] subscribed to the theory that the liberal use of adverbs and adjectives was the mark of a pervert or someone with a vitamin deficiency"), I was astonished by the repeated reliance on cliche phrase like these:

"In this neck of the woods, one doesn't have to run very fast."

"The editorial board had opted to take the bull by the horns..."

"technically, it was my father who paid, but don't look a gift horse in the mouth"

"my father came back and found me alive and kicking..."

It was especially bewildering since the author is capable of amazing, vivid, and fresh prose.  How could he possibly let a cliche like "he let the cat out of the bag" get past the rough draft?

Since the book is a translation, I will give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume it's the translator's fault and not his (one need only look at The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo  for an example of that).

But the cliches would be a minor annoyance if the rest of the book matched the brilliance of the first half. Unfortunately, the book quickly devolves into relentlessly dull exposition, delivered by one-note characters with absolutely no motivation or reason to deliver the speeches to our hero besides the author's need to relay the information.

Worse, the plot totally collapses into an unintelligble, incoherent mess that isn't satisfying or entertaining. Nothing that was "planted" in the first half pays off in the second. For me, the book was a crushing disappointment.

You Can Become a Kindle Millionaire, Part 9

My third month of Kindle sales has ended (click on the picture of the Amazon Royalty Report for a larger image). 

My out-of-print novel THE WALK , priced at $1.99, is my biggest selling Kindle title (not including my MONK books, of course). I sold 444 copies in June and 373 copies in July. This month, I sold about the same, 380 copies, earning me a royalty of $266.  I have sold 1197 copies of the Kindle edition so far.

Sales have actually ticked up a bit for my short story collection THREE WAYS TO DIE.  I sold 69 copies this month at 99 cents each, for a royalty of  $24... that's up from 40 copies in July and 54 copies in June. So sales of both of my "premiere" Kindle titles have remained more or less steady.

In mid-July, I added two more of my out-of-print novels and one non-fiction book to my list of Kindle editions.

My novel MY GUN HAS BULLETS, priced at $1.99,  sold 65 copies this month, earning me a royalty of $45.50. That's down from last month, when it sold 95 copies in 17 days earning me $65 in royalties. The sequel,  BEYOND THE BEYOND, is also down, selling 21 copies as compared to 29 copies in 14 days in July. 

TELEVISION SERIES REVIVALS was only out for two days in July, selling 17 copies at $2.39 each, earning me  $14.28. In its first full month of sales, however, it sold a mere 16 copies, earning me $13.44. That's a steep drop...and yet its consistently listed as the #1 bestselling TV reference book in several Amazon categories (History, Direction & Production, Guides & Reviews) on the Kindle. Clearly, that isn't saying much.

This month, I made several more of my out-of-print titles available in the Kindle format. 

I added Unsold TV Pilots: The Greatest Shows You Never Saw on August 2, priced at $2.39. I've sold 28 copies for  royalty of $24.36. Those sales are pretty weak...and yet that book is consistently listed as the #2 bestselling book in three categories:  TV reference, TV direction & production and TV Guides & Reviews.  TV reference books clearly don't sell well on the Kindle.

I added a Kindle edition of my out-of-print 1985 paperback .357 Vigilante: #2 Make Them Pay on Aug 5, priced at $2.99.  I've sold 25 copies for a royalty of $25.26 . On Aug 19, I added .357 Vigilante #1, also priced at $2.99. I've sold 21 copies for a royalty of $22.05

All together, I earned $436.45 in royalties on my out-of-print books in August, up from $375 in July. As I've said here many times before, that's found money on material that wasn't earning me a dime before, so I am very content with those figures.

I intend to add the two remaining books in the out-of-print  ".357 Vigilante" series to the Kindle in the next month or so, even though, as you can see, there really isn't much of a financial incentive to do so. 

TV Main Title of the Week - Bonus Edition

TV Main Title of the Week