A Writer's Life

Seven Weeks

UK-based Writer/producer Stephen Gallagher takes you step-by-step through the seven weeks between the initial conception of an ELEVENTH HOUR episode idea and the start of filming. His experience is typical of American episodic television production...and very, very different from the way things are done in the UK...where the same process can take months, if not longer.

Here's the nub of it. It looks fast and scary. But for the writer, the actual amount of work in turning out an hour-long script for American TV barely differs from that involved in creating script for a UK hour. The difference is that the US system edits out the soul-destroying longueurs between stages, while your script sits on someone's desk or some executive disappears on holiday. It's the same act of writing, but you get to do it in real time; and because of that, you don't run the risk of anyone - you included - falling out of love with what you're doing.

Bend

Writer/producer Lisa Klink, elaborating on Bill Rabkin's great essay on crafting spec scripts, passes along some important advice to aspiring TV writers. Yes, creativity is important. Yes, writing skill is important. Yes, people skills are important. But all of that won't move you forward in the television business unless you possess the most important talent of all: flexibility.

Which isn’t the same as spinelessness. You have to be willing to fight for the key elements which make your script work. You also have to be willing to change or even throw out elements you love if they’re not really crucial. Or affordable. Want to make yourself indispensable to a showrunner? Be the writer who can take any mess of an idea, stupid studio notes or ridiculous budget restrictions and still crank out a gem of a script.

Jutting Breasts and Willing Hips

James Reasoner has posted a terrific article by Brian Ritt about pulp author Orrie Hitt. Here's an excerpt: 

His women were too hot to handle, ex-virgins, frigid wives, sin dolls, wayward girls, torrid cheats, easy women, frustrated females, inflamed dames and, most often, trapped. Their names were Sheba, Sherry, Honey, Candy, Cherry, Betty French, and Lola Champ. They used what they had to use to make a buck--limited opportunities left them few other choices. They were duped and deceived, approached and abandoned.

Meet one of Hitt's women: "Jutting breasts, a flat stomach, willing hips, anxious thighs and legs that demanded all of the man in me, bringing to both of us an ancient pleasure which never grew old." --Man-Hungry Female, Novel Books, 1962, pg. 127

Hitt wrote two novels a month (a pace James Reasoner could certainly appreciate, if not match), writing from 7 a.m until the late afternoon, stopping only twenty minutes for lunch. He wrote 145 books from 1953-1964. Most of his books were "sleazy" paperback originals, written under a variety of pseudonyms.  

His research allowed him to write convincingly enough so that author Susan Stryker, in her book Queer Pulp: Perverted Passions from the Golden Age of the Paperback, says, "Only one actual lesbian, Kay Addams, writing as Orrie Hitt, is known to have churned out semipornographic sleaze novels for a predominantly male audience." Stryker actually thinks "Orrie Hitt" is a pseudonym, and "Kay Addams" is a real lesbian author! I'm sure Orrie'd be laughing his ass off about that one.

I really enjoy reading about hard-working pulp authors like Harry Whittington and Orrie Hitt -- both of whom were far better writers than they were given credit for because of the genres they toiled in and their astonishing productivity.

Fewer Commuters Kills Audiobook Sales

The Los Angeles Times reports that revenue from audiobooks sales has plummeted 47% this year as a result of unemployment...not because people have less to spend (though that's part of it) but because they aren't commuting.

The fewer people who work, the fewer people who drive to work. More than half of audio customers listen in their cars, said Chris Lynch, executive vice president and publisher of Simon & Schuster Audio. [...]"We got hit pretty badly last summer when gasoline prices were so high," Lynch says. "And then the stock market crashed in the fall and we got hit again."

The Mail I Get

I got this email from an aspiring model who wants to create a reality travel show about herself and is worried about somebody stealing it.

I am in the process of trying to write a treatment for a travel show I'd like to pitch to networks, but I am afraid that even if I have my stuff registered with WGA and have it copyrighted that my idea and/or ideas will get stolen. I am just starting out in the business so I am a little naive as far as what exactly I should do. Everything I've found so far seems so negative towards beginners and isn't exactly the most helpful as far as what to do when starting out (other than to hire a show runner or give your idea to someone else, but I want to see if I can do this myself as opposed to having someone else have all the credit).I am also wondering if there is a different process regarding a travel show, since it will only follow my life and is not a sitcom.

You have nothing to worry about registering your idea with the Writers Guild. No one there will steal it from you. It is completely safe. But registering it with the WGA doesn't "copyright" it...it only establishes when you wrote your treatment and holds a copy for safekeeping.

You can't copyright an idea...only your unique execution of it. For example, how many shows have there been about cops in Los Angeles solving murders? It's not the idea that makes each of the shows different, it's the execution and the unique characters.

You may be leery of getting involved with an established producer but let's be realistic. You are a complete unknown and have no experience writing or producing television programs...so what makes you think that any network would buy a travel show from you, especially now, in this terrible economic environment? That's like sketching a car on a napkin and expecting Ford to manufacture it.

One way around this would be to do the show yourself on the cheap on the web. If you can generate some buzz with the webseries, you might attract a cable network to your idea.

Cool Desperation

I read two interesting takes on the new fall TV season. TV Writer Kay Rendl sees more vertical integration on the business side and the continued pursuit of cool on the creative side. 

Think about it -- what drama do you watch on network TeeVee that features uncool lead characters? Even my favorite network shows featured cool people. The Gilmore girls were cool. The politicians on the West Wing were cool, even when they were policy wonks because they would still sleep with prostitutes. And even Buffy, with her outcast-ness, slayed vampires. Willow became a cool lesbian witch. Xander married an ex-demon and lived in a weird 80s condo.

There are two ways to be an outcast: You either hide your weird qualities (Buffy), or you showcase them (Glee). It wasn't until I watched the Glee pilot that I realized what had been bothering me about the pilots, and it's that cool factor. Even when a pilot tries to make a character less cool, they invariably balance that quality out with a cool element: Mary Sue's a mousy librarian, but she's also a witch who looks GREAT with her hair down and her boobs pushed up. Cool is the safe zone for networks.

Emily Nussbaum of New York Magazines sat through the network upfront presentations and saw something else -- fear and desperation.

With buyers still shaken by the economy, this is the first upfront season in which it’s become impossible to ignore the troubles that riddle the television industry—financial, technological, creative. Automobile ads have dissolved. Cable is ascendant. And none of the default settings are holding: NBC—which skipped the upfronts, giving “infronts” two weeks earlier—has gone rogue, scheduling an hour of Leno every weeknight at ten, touting an “all-year” schedule.

[...]CBS’s “we’re No. 1!” sell is compelling, if in a depressing way: People love our dullest shows! They cheer their purchase of Medium, which NBC dumped. The reality pilot Undercover Boss strikes a chord with this audience of people terrified of being fired.

The after-party—at Terminal 5 instead of CBS’s old venue, Tavern on the Green—is sweaty and miserable, with chocolate fortune cookies containing the unsettlingly fascist message “Only CBS.” It occurs to me that all this branding is itself oddly dated, to viewers if not to marketers—how many television viewers are loyal to one network anymore, now that the very concept of a time slot has nearly dissolved?

The sad truth behind the hype, the booze, and the chilled shrimp fed to the advertising reps who attend these things is that 90% or more of the new fall shows will fail. Miserably. And everybody knows that...but deny it to themselves, something Jimmy Kimmel's comedy schtick at the ABC upfront presentation made perfectly clear. 

"Everything you’ve heard today, everything you’re going to hear this week, is bullshit. [...] Every year we lie to you, and every year you come back for more … You don’t need an upfront, you need therapy. We lied to you, and then you passed those lies along to your clients! Everyone in this room is completely full of shit.” 

Everybody laughed. They should have cried.

What You Need to Know about Bookscan

Alison Kent pointed me to this excellent post about the influence of Bookscan on an author's career...and how the sales tracking system actually works:

BookScan numbers are like an author’s credit rating.

All book publishers (and some savvy authors) subscribe to Nielsen BookScan. The very first thing an acquisitions editor does is check a published author’s Nielsen numbers, when considering a new submission. Nielsen BookScan tells the naked truth about how many copies a book sells. It produces weekly tallies via electronic links to thousands of cash registers across the country. This is no guess or anecdotal report. It’s all ka-ching, straight from the till. The numbers may as well be carved in stone.

Always Change the Names

All writers take some inspiration from their own lives for the stories they tell in their books and screenplays. But it looks like CSI writer/producer Sarah Goldfinger may have gone too far (or, at the very least, was sloppy about it). The Los Angeles Times reports:

When married real estate agents Scott and Melinda Tamkin read about an episode of the hit crime drama "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" that featured dirty-dealing, S&M-loving real estate agents named Scott and Melinda Tamkin, they didn't need to consult a forensic expert for an explanation. A house sale involving the Tamkins and a "CSI" producer had fallen apart four years before, and the producer was listed, in the same online description, as the co-writer of the episode. On Friday the Tamkins filed a $6-million defamation and invasion of privacy suit against the producer, Sarah Goldfinger, saying she humiliated them and cost them potential business...

I don't fault Goldfinger for using the couple as a jumping-off point for her story. There's nothing wrong with that. Series often use real-life events and people as inspiration (that's why they run a legal disclaimer on certain episodes of LAW & ORDER that are obviously "ripped from the headlines"). Goldfinger's mistake was actually using their real names in the script. Although the names of the characters were changed before the script was shot (undoubtedly after the standard legal script clearance process uncovered that there were actually real estate agents with the same name as those in the teleplay), the damage was done. The early draft was used for casting and initial network publicity. 

It's a surprising mistake for someone of Goldfinger's experience to make.  Every TV writer knows better...and probably cringed when they read about this. Look for this lawsuit to be quietly settled before it goes to court.

Brimstone

It's a lousy book, a dull compendium of Robert B. Parker cliches... including the endless discussions about "men who are men doing what they have to do" and still more bland iterations of the Spenser & Hawk/Jesse Stone & Jenn relationships, only this time played out in the old west (there's even a chapter that ends with a character saying "We'd be fools not to," something Parker manages to put in at least once in every book). What's really tiresome is all the filler talk about how wonderful and invincible gunslinger Virgil Cole is, especially whenVirgil himself keeps saying it.  The banter between Virgil and Everett is witless and dull, and feels more like typing than writing. I was a big fan of APPALOOSA and RESOLUTION, the earlier, and much better, books in this series, but this one is an aimless, lazy, clumsy mess...difficult to enjoy even for diehard Parker fans like myself who have stuck by him even as he continues to disappoint. 

International TV Buyers Want WalMart Prices

This week is the LA Screenings, when buyers from networks worldwide come to Los Angeles to see pilots and buy the broadcast rights to new series for their countries. These sales are important to the U.S. studios. They help the studios recoup the difference between the network license fees (what CBS, ABC, etc. pay to air the shows) and the actual production costs (which are considerably more). The problem is, networks worldwide are in deep financial trouble. Although it's usually cheaper for foreign networks to buy U.S. stuff rather than produce their own, home-grown fare, they still don't have the cash to spend on a shopping spree. Variety reports:

Twentieth global TV head Marion Edwards said she's concerned that the U.K. market, after years of high spending and bidding wars, is scaling back in a big way, especially after a weak 2008 Screenings.

"Sky buys a lot of shows, as do Channel 4 and Five, but not last year. ITV is the wildcard," she explained. "They've all announced they'll slash programming budgets and won't buy U.S. programming. We'll have to take the temperatures. The market has gotten very tough."

The Los Angeles Times reports that 1400 buyers came this year...one hundred less than last year. And those who've shown up have a lot less money to spend.

Asked where the most challenging markets will be, Jeffrey R. Schlesinger, who oversees international television for the studio, didn't even need a pause. "Unfortunately, the answer is everywhere." The Canadian buyers had already passed through the lot Sunday with much smaller wallets than usual. "Prices were not at the level of the past two years," Schlesinger observed. The United Kingdom and Australia are also challenged. While lots of new buyers have emerged recently most don't have the deep pockets of the entrenched networks.

Blog Spamming

This takes some chutzpah. S.G. Kiner is trying to promote her self-published book by spamming the comment sections of blogs all over the Internet. Take, for instance, this comment that she left on author Laura Caldwell's post at The Outfit:

"The Hong Kong Connection" is a legal thriller about a gutsy female attorney who takes on high ranking International officials. It's a taut, rollercoaster of a ride from New York to Palm Beach to Washington D.C. to Hong Kong. The plot is expertly woven, the characters persuasive, and the dialogue snappy and spot on. www.StrategicBookPublishing.com/TheHongKongConnection.html

This comment, of course, had absolutely nothing to do with the subject of Laura's post. It is, however, an example of inappropriate and stupid behavior by an aspiring author. First Kiner was dumb enough to fall for the Strategic Publishing scam (the latest incarnation of Robert Fletcher's infamous Writers Literary Agency). Now Kiner is compounding that mistake by ineptly trying to leach readers off of another author. The only thing she's succeeded in promoting is her own rudeness and ineptitude. 

Tod Answers Burning Questions

My brother Tod talks at BiblioBuffet about writing the BURN NOTICE books, the latest of which, "End Game," just came out:

It was hard at first. I re-watched all of the first season (this all came about in November of 2007, so the first season had just concluded), read all of the scripts, talked to Matt about how he created the characters, their motivations, fears, etc. because I really wasn’t comfortable stepping into an established character. [...] I essentially decided once I started writing that I’d treat the books like a band doing a cover song. I wasn’t going to get it exactly right and I really couldn’t hope to. It wasn’t going to be the same as the show, because, uh, it’s a book. You want a different thing from a book than a television show. But it would be pretty close and I’d put my own spin on it.

Mr. Monk in Trouble

Here's the cover for for MR. MONK IN TROUBLE, which will be coming out in December 2009. The latest book, MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP, comes out in four weeks.

TV Main Title of the Week

Heading Home

I have one more meeting this morning for tea and then it's off to Heathrow for my flight home. It has been a very busy and productive week of "get-to-know-you" meetings in London with top level executives at various networks and production companies. I believe that my agent and I accomplished exactly what we set out to do here this week -- introducing people to me and my work and establishing relationships that will lead to writing & producing opportunities in the future. 

All the meetings went well and I made some great contacts, so I am feeling very optimistic. I am eager to get home and foll0w-up on everything (sending thank you notes, pitch treatments, etc.) I get home late Saturday and that gives me two days to conquer  my jet-lag before a week of pitching and staffing meetings.

You probably know what a pitch meeting is, but if you aren't in the TV biz, you  might wonder what I mean by "staffing." Now that the network schedules have been announced, everybody (me included) is running around trying to land one of the few available writing staff jobs. It's an intense, competitive and exciting time...full of big emotional ups and downs.  I try not to get my hopes up on any particular project...but I do anyway. I never learn. But I guess enthusiasm and optimism in this business is actually a plus...even if it it inevitably leads to some disappointments.

It wasn't all business in London. I had great dinners with screenwriter & novelist Stephen Gallagher and author James Swallow, browsed lots of bookstores, stocked up on DVDs of UK TV series, and even squeezed in a show of STAR TREK at the BFI Imax theatre. And I won't tell  you how many times I ate chicken pot pie at Square Pie at Selvridges...but the sales clerks and I got to know one another on a first-name basis.

But I am eager to get home and see my family. For some reason, it feels like I have been away much longer than a week.

Interceptors, Immediate Launch!

I may be psychic. Or perhaps Stephen Gallagher is. Or perhaps the two of us combined are. Last night, Stephen took me to dinner with his daughter Ellen at a terrific Chinese restaurant in Soho. Among the many things we talked about how much we enjoyed the cheesy, silly 1970s Gerry Anderson series UFO (I absolutely love the Barry Gray score). So I was a bit startled to discover the  news today that Robert Evans  is developing  a theatrical remake of UFO. The script is being written by Ryan Gaudet and Joseph Kanarek.

The Robert Evans Co. has a first-look deal at Paramount, which will be first stop for the project. "We know the importance of the 'UFO' series brand to ITV Global, and we will work closely with them to build this into a franchise," Evans said.

This is not the first time a revival of UFO, either for TV or film, has been attempted. I believe the last one was for MGM and would have been shot in Australia. I wonder if they will keep the women with the colored hair...and the secret government base under a movie studio...and the Interceptors that could only fire one missile.

Breaking In

Screenwriter, producer, teacher, novelist and bon vivant William Rabkin has written an excellent article on Storylink about what a newbie writer has to do to break into television. You've still got to write an episodic spec script, but...

Your spec can’t simply be a good episode. It’s got to be bold, audacious, and big. It has to go places no one has ever thought of going before and do things no one has imagined doing. And it’s got to do it on the first page. Hell, on the first half page, because your reader may not bother going further than that. You’ve got to grab your readers right away and force them to keep reading.

In short, you need a gimmick.

No, typing your script in 3-D and including polarized glasses isn’t going to do it. What I mean by a gimmick is a transformative approach to storytelling that allows you to retell the series’ underlying narrative in a way that makes it seem new again. It’s a stylistic or structural element that shows that your vision is so intriguingly different that showrunners will fight to bring it to their series.

In London

The big news here are the ridiculous expenses claimed by MPs for taxpayer reimbursement...everything from flat screen TVs to sacks of horse manure.  Its ridiculously entertaining stuff. Last time I was here, just a few weeks ago, the scandal was some underling of Gordon Brown's who was planting fake, salacious news about political adversaries with bloggers. I must say politics are a lot more fun and sleazy here than at home. 

My first day of meetings went very well. The hardest part has been finding my way from one corner of London to the other but I've been managing all right. Today may be a bit more difficult...I've got a bunch of meetings all over town and I understand from the news this morning that there are lots of troubles/closures on subway system, so it should be even more challenging to get around.

I have been learning more about the UK TV biz...and how it constrasts with how biz is done in the U.S. and Germany. I may have more to share about that in a future post.

TV Main Title of the Week

Dishing on Disher

I'm sure glad I recuperated in time to meet author Garry Disher today.  I arranged to pick him up at his hotel and take him on a quick visit to Santa Monica before his 6 p.m. signing at the Mystery Bookstore. 

When I met him at the hotel, he handed me a copy of his new book BLOOD MOON and said "I dedicated this to you." I smiled and opened the book, assuming that he meant that he'd signed it for me. And he had, right there on the title page:  

Lee,

This one is for you, with thanks and admiration. 

Garry Disher

I thought that was a very nice thing to say.  And then I turned the page and was stunned to see this:

For Lee Goldberg

Holy Crap! He actually did dedicate the book to me. I hadn't done anything to deserve such an honor. I honestly didn't know what to say, so I mumbled a thank you and then rambled on about something stupid for the next five minutes as we drove towards the beach. And then I thanked him again, properly this time, by letting him know how surprised and honored I was. 

I'm still not sure why he did such a wonderful thing for me, but I am very, very flattered.  It's the second time a book has been dedicated to me --Max Allan Collins floored me a couple of years ago by dedicating a CSI novel to me. That's two more dedications than I deserved.

We had a very nice conversation over the next two hours. I learned about his writing life and methods, his family, and some of his signing mis-adventures. I also learned something about the Australian book business  -- did you know authors get additional payments from book sales to libraries to take into account the books that aren't sold as a result of loaning? And there's good news for Disher fans: there's finally a new "Wyatt" novel coming in 2010. I enjoy his Inspector Hal Challis books very much, but I love Wyatt, sort of the Aussie equivalent of Donald Westlake's Parker. There's even a western version of Wyatt in one of Disher's short story collections (which gave me the inspiration to do a western version of Monk, which you will see in December). 

His signing at the Mystery Bookstore went well. He was followed by Laura Lippman, who came along with her husband David Simon, creator of THE WIRE. So I finally got to meet David, who I've admired for years. It turns out that he's a fan of SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION WRITING, the screenwriting book that Bill Rabkin & I wrote. I told David how much I love the "f-word" scene from season one and use it often when I teach and he shared some anecdotes about how the scene came about.

Garry will be speaking & signing with Laura at M is For Mystery in San Mateo on May 16.  

If you're in the Bay Area, you should go see them. He's also speaking at the First Congregational Church in Berkeley that same day.

After his Westwood signing, I took him to dinner at Jerry's Deli next door and did the fanboy thing of having him sign all the books of his that I've collected over the years.  

It was a great day and I hope I can make it down to Australia some time to see Garry on his home turf.

By the way, Garry will also be speaking & signing at the Velma Teague Library in Glendale AZ on May 19, the Poisoned Pen in Scotsdale on May 20, at Murder By The Book on Houston on May 21, and at the B&N in Reston VA on May 22. He'll also be signing with Cara Black at Mystery Lovers Bookshop on May 23 and at the Scituate Massachusetts Town Library on Tuesday, May 26. Those are just a few of the events on his national book tour...I can't seem to find the rest in one spot on the web, so check out your local independent, mystery bookstore to see if he will be coming to your area this month.

This and That

Sorry I have been absent from here lately. I have been absent from everything for the last two days, felled by a nasty combination of a stomach bug (that first crept up on me last weekend) and a bad back (that has plagued me for two weeks) that combined to keep me in bed and miserable. The first day I felt so lousy all I did was nap, sweat and shiver. But on the second day I continued my UK video binge and watched a WALLANDER, a LEWIS, two episodes of  THE FIXER, the latest episode of series 2 of ASHES TO ASHES, three series 2 episodes  of MOVING WALLPAPER, and an episode of MISSING.

I'm out of bed today, temperature  normal, eating again, and walking more-or-less upright (thanks to me finally giving in and seeing a chiropractor)...just in time to meet Aussie author Garry Disher tonight before his signing at the Mystery Bookstore. I am a huge fan of his work, particularly his terrific Wyatt novels (inspired by Westlake's Parker  series), which need to be read in order to truly be appreciated. I will try to behave like a professional and not a drooling fanboy.

Tomorrow, I will spend the day packing and getting prepared for my Saturday flight to London, where I will be spend a week meeting with various UK studios and networks...so you can expect more sporadic, rather than regular, posting.  

Mr. Crider Isn't Miserable

Bill Crider really enjoyed MR. MONK IS MISERABLE, which will be coming out in paperback in a couple of weeks. He writes, in part:

If Monk is miserable, you can be sure I'll be happy reading about it. [...] there's plenty of Monk's quirkiness, which I continue to find amusing. This is where the title of the book is somewhat misleading because before it's over, Monk has found something approaching pure happiness driving a motocrotte. Again, you'll have to read it for yourself, which is something I recommend the next time you need a good laugh, an entertaining mystery, and a tour of the Paris underground all for the same price.

Thanks, Bill!

This is My Life

Getting fired, in the form of a series cancellation, is a fact of life for people working in the TV industry. As an example, The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday on what it's like for the crew of the CBS series THE UNIT to be waiting, and wondering, whether their show is coming back.

If drama is life heightened, then Hollywood's bubble shows mirror much of America right now, where the specter of pay reductions, freezes and immediate unemployment is writ large. In the television industry, the phenomenon is an annual rite as network executives decide which series will be ditched to make room for new projects.

"What the country in general is going through, if you choose to work in Hollywood, you've accepted a life that is constantly like that," said executive producerShawn Ryan, who runs "The Unit" and created the FX cable channel's cop drama "The Shield." 

[...]Executive producer Vahan Moosekian is as familiar with these employment ups and downs as anyone. His four years on "The Unit" is his longest stint on any show during his 33 years in the industry, stability he knows could easily be followed by years of unemployment. With the rise of reality TV and NBC's new 10 p.m. Jay Leno comedy show, there are fewer jobs in scripted television.

I know how Moosekian feels. For years, I used to dream about what it would be like to actually be on a show that came back for a second season. It seems like every show I was on would be canceled during it's first season, or if it came back, I would leave for one reason or another before it happened. It wasn't until DIAGNOSIS MURDER that I discovered what it felt like to be on a show for several years...though we were on the bubble for renewal, not just every season, but every mid-season as well.  

I have never seen things as tough for TV writers as they are now. There are fewer scripted dramas and fewer writer/producer slots on them. Even if you are lucky enough to be on a show that gets renewed, you might not come back with it --- every show is trimming expenses and writers are the first to go when networks and studios look to cut costs. 

Then again, it's tough for everybody in every industry right now.

TV Main Title of the Week - Special Tom Jones Soundalike Edition

TV Main Title of the Week - Special Tom Jones Edition

What I've Read This Week

I'm a big fan of Bear Manor Media, a small press that publishes great books about television, film, radio and the stage. I have raved about their books here in the past (like the Encyclopedia of TV Spies and the 12 O'Clock High Logbook), so it pains me to have to say that one of their latest,  Just When You Thought it Was Safe: A Jaws Companion is underwhelming.

It's not that it's a bad book, but it's simply a serviceable rehash of material that has been told over and over and over again. If you've never seen a documentary about the making of JAWS, or read any of the other fine books about it, than I suppose that this one provides a nice, if superficial, over-view. For me, it felt like a recap of stuff I already knew and without the depth and detail of previous accounts. Far too much of the book relies on previously published interviews and is padded with unrevealing and uninteresting interviews with d-list actors, bit players (on screen and off), and background extras (the non-speaking roles) that only the most ardent JAWS officionado would care to hear from (for the most part, their perspective adds nothing new or even vaguely interesting).  A pointless chapter on the 2005 JawsFest personifies just about everything that's wrong with this book.

What is supposed to set this book apart from all the JAWS books and documentaries that have come before is coverage of the sequels. But it's just that, coverage. It doesn't go much deeper. I never really felt like I was getting into the nuts-and-bolts of how the sequels were developed, shot, and distributed. The exception are fascinating and candid interviews with director John Hancock and his wife Dorothy Tristan, who talk about their vision of JAWS 2 and why they were fired three weeks into filming. If only the rest of the book was as fresh and intriguing.

The best Bear Manor books focus on TV shows, movies, etc. that have been largely overlooked and unexamined until now. The mistake with this book (unlike, say, the book on 12 O'CLOCK HIGH in all its incarnations) is that this is a subject that has already been extensively covered...to death. There simply wasn't a need for yet another book...especially one that doesn't break any significant new ground. 

# # # # #

I got a big kick out of James Reasoner's widely, and justifiably, praised HUNT AT THE WELL OF ETERNITY. It's a throw-back, in the best sense of the word, to the pulps of yesteryear. But you don't have to be a fan of old movie serials and comic books to enjoy this Doc Savage/Indiana Jones-esque tale, a rollicking, fast-moving, and thrill-a-minute action adventure that aspires to be nothing more than it is: pure, escapist fun. James has set the bar mighty high for the next five authors in this "ghost-written" series.

When to Self-Publish

Karen Opas-Lanouette, a freelance editor and ghostwriter, believes it only makes sense to self-publish if you meet three criteria, which she's posted on LinkedIn. I think her list is great:

1) You have written a memoir or cookbook that you want to share with family and friends. Professional editing and cover design/interior layout are not an issue. A POD self-publisher like Lulu or iPublish is an inexpensive way to put a book into the hands of friends and family.

2) You have a successful business and a book will enhance your authority as an expert. You prefer the 50%+ of the cover price you will receive via this process than the 7-15% you will receive via traditional publishing. You can write the initial expenses off against marketing, and declare income as you hand sell books to clients and at lectures. In this case, it is worth the money to hire a professional editor, an experienced book designer, and create a combination of printed physical copies and a POD set-up with someone like Lightning Source.

3) The expenses involved in creating a professional quality self published book are worth it to you in the same way that going on a vacation is worth it--you are unlikely to make a profit, but the mental and emotional rewards of having your book out in the world, along with the statistically slender chance that your book will hit, make it worth the money.

That is one of the most-clearheaded, accurate, and helpful posts about self-publishing that I've read in some time. I agree with everything she's said. But I would add one more important criteria -- self-publishing makes sense if you have written a non-fiction book and have a built-in sales and promotional platform. In other words, if you lead seminars, have a TV or radio show, teach a class, preach to a congregation, etc...a stage from which you can promote the book and a ready-made venue/audience for selling it yourself.

UPDATE: Jane Smith pointed me to this excellent post that makes some excellent points about self-publishing Here's a taste:

4) Nearly all self-published books sell in minuscule numbers. How many friends do you have? How many could you persuade to part with cash? Well, that's how many books you will probably sell. Unless you are a seriously brilliant and dedicated salesperson and are prepared not to write any more ever again because you will be selling, selling, selling. You will lose hair, weight (hmm, good idea), self-esteem and years off your life; you will gain wrinkles, bags, and new respect for book-led publishers. You will probably not make any money but if you do, you will be rightly proud of it. But too tired to do it again. 

5) Whenever someone tells you that publishing is "broken", ask yourself who is saying this and why. Is it a published author? Is it an author who has won awards, received good reviews, has a genuine fanbase? Or is it someone who has either failed to get published or who has decided to make money out of other people's failure to do so? 

6) When you hear about a self-published book becoming "successful", (and this does occasionally happen, but much less often than you are led to believe) realise that this success nearly always happens when a book-led publisher takes on the formerly self-published book. So, is that a self-publishing success or proof that publishing is neither dead nor the future?

Fascinating, Captain

Not only is the new STAR TREK a brilliant and exhilirating re-boot of the franchise, it could serve as a text book for writers on how to update a beloved media property. JJ Abrams and his writers manage to pay affectionate and respectful homage to the original series and all of its spin-offs...while at the same time cleverly and elegantly freeing themselves from all that has come before. 

Like CASINO ROYALE -- which successfully rebooted "James Bond," another beloved, enduring franchise -- the film is both comfortingly familiar and delightfully surprising. And like in CASINO ROYALE, you won't hear the franchise's iconic theme until the end, when the movie and its characters have earned it.  The one miss-step in the movie is Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy. He is the only actor in the cast who seems to be attempting an impersonation of the original performer in his part...and he does it badly. But that's a minor quibble. This is a terrific movie. 

I am already looking forward to the sequel.

The Independence Fallacy

I have to point you to two terrific blog posts from Writer Beware's Victoria Strauss, who tackles the fallacy behind POD companies calling themselves "independent publishers"  and their customers calling themselves "independent authors." The POD companies are eager to cast themselves as the equivalent of indie movie-makers. But the comparison doesn't fit. Indie film-makers and musicians don't pay someone to package and market their work, they do it themselves. Victoria notes:

If you sign a contract with a self-publishing company, you are not an independent writer, no matter how emphatically the self-pub company says you are.

She goes on to note:

If you are a true self-publisher--if you've handled every aspect of publication on your own--then yes, you can accurately call yourself an independent author.[...]If you've used a print-on-demand self-publishing company, you've granted it a limited license to your work, you've chosen from a pre-determined package of services, you're dependent on whatever distribution the company provides, and you probably don't own your ISBN number. Also, since most self-pub companies reserve the right to discontinue publication for any reason, you don't fully control your work's availability, and since most pay a royalty, you don't control its income, either. In other words, you are not independent.

By the way, there's some very good news coming soon about the future of Writer Beware that will make it even stronger.

Tod's Burning Sensation Explained

My brother Tod talks today about the challenges he faced writing his latest BURN NOTICE novel:

Writing these books is certainly a different kind of experience for me -- I write them very, very quickly. More quickly than I'd like, really, but the turn-around time on them is such that I really only have about three months to write each one and have a normal life in-between. And by normal life, I of course mean a normal writing life...

But even after he turned in the book, he wasn't actually done writing it...

I wasn't happy and added a new chapter from Fiona's pov when the copyedits came in, which probably didn't thrill my publisher, but it felt like something was missing. I've been tinkering a lot with adding different povs into the books -- Sam's, Fiona's, and in this new book I'm writing, you get the client's pov for a chapter, too -- because that's the one thing I'm really able to do that you can't get on the show. Plus, it's fun for me as a writer.

And it's gonna be fun for you as a reader, too, because his BURN NOTICE books are great. And I'm not just saying that because we share a few genes.

Goodbye, TelevisionWeek

Television Week, the publication formerly known as Electronic Media, is ceasing publication and will continue as a website. This is sad news for me. Back in the late 1980s, I was a reporter for Electronic Media. My biggest scoop was breaking the news about Paramount's revival of STAR TREK as first-run syndicated series -- a story which the studio initially denied (USA Today later picked up my story and then Paramount reluctantly confirmed it). I also reported extensively about the birth of the Fox Network. It was an exciting time for me and I learned a lot about the nuts-and-bolts of the television business. Electronic Media catered to station programming execs and the syndication marketplace and often went into far more depth than either Variety or the Hollywood Reporter on TV biz stories. I don't think Electronic Media ever got the attention or respect that it deserved for its business journalism...though I often saw newspapers using their stories as jumping off-points for articles of their own. 

UPDATE 5-6-2009: The Franklin Avenue Blog has a detailed remembrance  & appreciation of EM.

Proof the Banking System is Going to Hell

Citibank just offered my 13-year-old daughter a MasterCard with an opening 13.24% APR  which jumps to a mere 30% if you miss a single payment. We signed her up for it immediately.

TREK Screenwriters Are Tied-in

The LA Times asked Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, screenwriters of the new STAR TREK movie, to pick their favorite TREK tie-in novels. Surprisingly, these guy actually had some, proving their Trekkie street cred. Their choices were:

"Best Destiny" by Diane Carey (Pocket Books, 1993). "A beautiful imagining of Kirk's childhood and how it shaped him to love the stars."

  "Spock's World" by Diane Duane (Pocket Books, 1988). "If Mr. Spock is your favorite character, this is amust read. The relationship he forges with Dr. McCoy finally gets the nuanced treatment it deserves." 

"Prime Directive" by Judith and Garfield Reeves Stevens (Pocket Books, 1990). "One of the best incarnations of the original bridge crew, with every character given equal consideration and full development, against the backdrop of a real-deal science fiction story." 

"Ex Machina" by Christopher L. Bennett (Pocket Books, 2004) "A great example of how a 'Trek' novel can fit within 'canon' while existing between the movies we love."

TV Main Title of the Week

The Monkford Files

A few months ago, the USA Network did a MONK promotional campaign that spoofed the main title sequence of MAGNUM PI.  Now some enterprising Monk fan has done the same thing on YouTube...only with THE ROCKFORD FILES.

The Mail I Get

Facebook is quickly becoming over-run by people promoting their books...or at least it seems that way from my mailbox. Every day I get cringe-worthy new examples of how not to promote your book. Here's one that I got today from a self-published author:

I just wanted to send greetings from New Orleans and to thank you for adding me as your friend on Facebook. I am an author with a new suspense thriller, Time Couriers, recent recipient of AmazonClicks Author's Choice Award for March 2009!

Touting yourself as an "AmazonClicks" award-winner is like screaming "I am pathetic!!" as loudly as you possibly can. 

AmazonClicks is an utterly meaningless and honorless non-accolade that has nothing whatsoever to do with Amazon.com.  It's basically a popularity contest among nobodies set-up by a fledgling e-book publisher:

These are the only awards, voted for by ordinary readers and peer authors, where world beating best sellers compete against brand new and often unknown titles from talented writers sometimes struggling to gain recognition for their work.

We also list the winners of all the major literary awards so you can choose from the very best books available. [...] A wide range of thought provoking, amusing, thrilling and heart wrenching works are always nominated. The list shows these initially in the order they are received and then they are rank ordered by votes cast. 

[...]From the hundreds of nominations that can be received each month, only the top titles, most voted for, are listed - an award in itself! 

Participation in the voting and nominations for the AmazonClicks Authors Choice Award is open only to people with an ISBN number of their own. 

The Author's Choice Award is to give peer recognition and so we need to establish the votes for this award are coming from other authors, that is why we ask for an ISBN number of one of your works.

[...]Each person has one vote except authors who can vote once in each category so they get two. A vote will continue to be counted to support a book until that book wins an award in one of the categories (Reader's or Author's Choice) after which is will be removed from that category but may remain in the other if it has also been nominated there.

Well, those were the rules. The response from readers and authors this month has been so low, that AmazonClicks is combining the two "awards" into one. 

After much deliberation, we have decided to merge the Readers and Authors Choice Awards to one monthly 'AmazonClicks Award' for the most popular book. Due to the low votes in April, this will be effective immediately. The good news is that the competition goes on.

That's a relief.  What any of this idoicy has to do with Amazon is beyond me, except that they want to imply a connection where one doesn't exist. 

While this awards hokum isn't a scam in the classic sense -- nobody is conning people out of their money -- it still preys on the insecurity, naivete and desperation of aspiring authors. 

These self-published authors are so hungry for validation, for acknowledgment of any kind, that they'll jump at anything, no matter how insipid, that offers even the illusion of acclaim and recognition.

Instead, by touting this inane "award," the aspiring authors are humiliating themselves and creating new obstacles to overcome in their quest for publishing success and professional recognition. No reputable agent, editor, or reviewer will ever take an author seriously who considers an AmazonClicks "award" an honor worth touting. 

I feel sorry for this guy.

UPDATE 5-5-09: Pete, the guy behind the AmazonClicks "awards," isn't too pleased about my comments. He says, in part:

basically he accuses us of trading off Amazon's name and running meaningless awards. I'm guessing he's never won an award and is envious of those of you who have attracted hundreds of votes for your titles. If you come across this sort of vitriol, I suggest you just ignore it because his is only one tiny, unknown voice against the many that have praised your achievements.

What's interesting is that now he's going to change the site's name (to scrap the implied connection to Amazon) and is dropping his plans to start an e-book business.

rather than give fuel to the mindless ramblings of people like the aforementioned, I intend to change the name in the near future. [...]After long consideration and polling onions around the Internet, I've decided not to pursue the eBook or any other type of selling on line. The new awards site will be just that, exclusively awards.

This is a sharp detour from just a week ago, when he had very different "onions" to report:

A number of surveys, polls and requests for feedback have been conducted to evaluate the eBook proposition and I'm pleased to report overwhelming support in favour. So wheels are now in motion to set this up

Gee, I wonder what changed. I'm sure that his new awards (WalmartClicks? BarnesandNobleClicks? PetCoClicks?) will be just as meaningful, coveted, respected, and renowned as AmazonClicks was.

Battlestar Dallas

I love this.


(Thanks to TV Squad for the link)

The Price isn't Right

Lots of scripted shows in recent years have moved their production from Los Angeles to New Mexico, North Carolina, New York, Toronto, Vancouver and even Bogota, Colombia . But you know things are really getting bad when even the cheap, non-scripted shows are fleeing the state. The LA Times reports today that the gameshow "Deal or No Deal" is saying "no deal" to California and high-tailing it to Connecticut.

The syndicated game show, hosted by comedian Howie Mandel, has been based out of the Culver Studios in Culver City for the last 3 1/2 years. But the show, which is produced by Endemol USA and distributed by NBC Universal, will shift production this summer to a studio in Waterford, Conn., to take advantage of that state's film and TV production tax breaks. Most of the 250 people who now work on "Deal or No Deal" will lose their jobs.

Connecticut offers a 30% production tax credit for films and digital media productions. NBC Universal, whose corporate parent General Electric Co. is based in Fairfield, Conn., already has announced plans to move three of its talk shows into a new production facility in Stamford, Conn.: "The Jerry Springer Show," "The Steve Wilkos Show," both from Chicago, and "Maury," from New York.

What's next to go -- "The Price is Right?" "Ellen?" "The Tonight Show?" This is very bad news for all sectors of the entertainment industry in Southern California.

Author Photos for the Dead

Can you believe that picture? It's the author photo and profile picture for Judith Gilbert, a stranger who asked to be my friend on Facebook today.  That picture looks like something you might see at a funeral home. She looks like she died and went on to horse heaven (I'm surprised that she didn't work a few unicorns, doves, and cats in there, too).  

I have a hard time reconciling that author photo with the cover of BLOOD HUNT, her latest e-book (the guy is either having an orgasm or trying to pass a very large gall-stone).

I'm sure Judith is a very sweet lady (and I'm not just saying that because she's a kick-boxer who could break me in two if she got pissed) but she might want to rethink the image she's creating for herself. She might start with one that doesn't make her seem, well, dead.