A Writer's Life

Life on Mars...the Spanish Version

Here's a peak at the Spanish version of the BBC hit LIFE ON MARS...and it has the best main title sequence of the bunch.

People Don't Watch Shows That Suck

You'd think that would be common sense but, apparently it's not. Case in point -- today an Entertainment Weekly article questioned why so many science fiction shows this season are tanking while audiences are still flocking to science fiction movies:

Two weeks ago, Fox aired what was probably the final episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a pretty solid sci-fi show which nevertheless suffered from guttery ratings. Two weeks from now, Terminator Salvation will premiere in theaters -- where it will likely make somewhere in the vicinity of $90 million in its first weekend, regardless of how "good" it is. Two separate extentions of the same franchise: one will be labeled a failure, the other a ginormous hit. Why? Why don't we want science fiction on television anymore?

I think that the EW article is based on a faulty premise. People do watch science fiction TV shows...when they don't suck (good stuff like THE X-FILES, STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, the first season of HEROES, etc). 

Unfortunately, most of them suck. 

People didn't reject TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES because it was science fiction...they stopped watching because it was lousy (and I say that as a guy who, inexplicably, didn't miss an episode). People turned away from HEROES for the same reason. The bottom line for science fiction shows is the same as it is for all shows in any genre:  they gotta be good or they'll die. 

That said, science fiction is a niche genre that has always appealed to a limited number of viewers...perhaps enough eyeballs to make a movie a hit but not enough to sustain a weekly TV show (which is why the SciFi network is so eager to broaden their brand and shed the "scifi" label). 

The other reason that science fiction TV shows haven't worked is that they are inordinately expensive to produce...which means they need to quickly and consistently draw a large audience to justify the expense/continued production. Most shows, sci-fi or not, have a hard time drawing viewers. But the networks understandably don't have the same patience with an expensive show as they do with inexpensive one. So no, it's not science fiction shows that audiences are rejecting...it's poor writing, or a lousy premise/franchise, or bad acting, or the promotion was so weak, nobody ever noticed the show was on the air...or it's a lethal combination of all those elements.

As far as movies go, there is also the event/spectacle factor. A 100-minute movie like TERMINATOR: SALVATION costs as much to produce as 44 episodes of TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES. Of course the movie is going to be more awesome. Plus, you're only asking the viewer to make a two-hour committment rather than a 44-hour one.  It has nothing to do with science fiction as a genre and everything to do with a dozen other factors. 

In other words, EW was asking the wrong question. What they should have been asking is "Why is science fiction TV so bad lately?"

That would be a better question, but not a fair one, because I think science fiction is thriving on TV as never before. STARGATE  just ended it's eight (or was it nine?) year run. It's spin-off ATLANTIS is also ending a long run (five years?). BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, which only ended a few weeks ago, may have been one of the best, and most-acclaimed science fiction TV series ever on television...and it gave SciFi Channel the respect it has sought for so long (which is ironic, considering they are changing their name with the premiere of the BSG spin-off CAPRICA). FRINGE is doing great.  And if you throw fantasy/horror into the mix, it looks even better (SUPERNATURAL, MEDIUM, TRUE BLOOD, GHOST WHISPERER, etc). 

So no, this is not a bad time for science fiction. It's a bad time for shows that suck...or that were once good and have slipped...or ill-conceived shows that take too much time finding their creative footing.

On My Wish List

If you've been a regular reader of this blog, you know how much I love novelist Harry Whittington. I can't wait for this new Harry Whittington collection...and Bill Crider, the guy who introduced me to Whittington's work, gives us a sneak peek. 

TV Main Title fo the Week

Book Fest, the sequel

It was another fine day at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. I chatted with lots of authors and readers....and did a signing with my brother Tod, William Rabkin, Patricia Smiley and Denise Hamilton. BURN NOTICE creator Matt Nix also stopped by and signed some books wih Tod. I showed my MWA spirit, and my rippling muscles, by wearing the new SoCal MWA t-shirts that were hot-sellers at our booth. 

I was in so much back pain yesterday that I neglected to do a proper run-down of events here when I got home (all I wanted to do was lie down). So I didn't mention that Tod and I ran into Joseph Wambaugh, who gave my brother a big hug and me a signed galley of his upcoming novel HOLLYWOOD MOON. I think Tod was envious. Friends get hugs, fans get cool galleys.  

Tod moderated a very funny panel on humor and race with Christian Lander, Lalo Alcaraz and Larry Wilmore and only made a half-dozen references to mastubation and didn't mention his bowels even once. 

Some other observations...

The green room served the same food that they have in years past, which made me wonder if we were actually eating left-overs to save money.  

Barnes & Noble, Borders, Book'em and some other bookstores were noticeably absent this year but there were a lot more booths for self-publishing companies, cults (Scientology had at least two booths) and products, including one for Volvo. 

This was the first year that I saw a couple having sex at the Festival. Granted, it was in the parking structure, but it still counts. It's nice to know that books still make some people hot.

After my panel signing, me, Craig Johnson, and Robert Dugoni went over to the tent selling our books and offered to sign the remaining stock. But they were already packing the stuff up. I suggested they might want to keep some signed stock around for people who couldn't make it to our panel. The clerk says "we aren't a bookstore, we're the School of Health Sciences. We don't sell books." Apparently, they were only making the books available for the panels and then immediately packing up the unsold stuff without even trying to sell it over the rest of the Festival. This seemed particularly dumb to me. Authors and readers lose out...and so did the School of Health Sciences, which missed out on lots of potential sales. See, in past years, B&N or Borders handled the panel signing sales...and kept the books available all weekend, which was great. It meant you didn't have to snag immediately after the panels... you could come back later...in fact, you could browse by several times during the course of the Festival and always find new stuff. I wonder why the UCLA Bookstore didn't handle the sales this time. In any case, I hope they find a bookseller...or at least someone who will behave like booksellers...next year. 

(You can see more of my Lee-centric book fest photos here. I took lots of shots of the MWA booth, and the MWA sponsored panels, for our friends on the MWA National Board.  I wanted to show them the big bang we got for our sponsorship bucks)

Book Fest

I had a great time at the LA Times Book Festival today. My panel with Steve Cannell, Jan Burke, Robert Dugoni and Craig Johnson was a lot of fun -- at least from where I was sitting (who knew Craig was so damn funny?).  All the authors were funny but also had some very revealing things to say about their approaches to writing and crafting characters. Afterwards, at the signing, a woman came up to me and said:

"I think you're very funny, and that you have a great personality, but I can't stand Monk or your books."

I kid you not. Robert Dugoni is my witness. But her comment was more than balanced out by the couple who came up to me and told me how much they enjoyed my novel THE WALK. Now that made my day.

(Photo upper left, me and Victor Gischler. Photo on right, Gischler, Brett Battles, William Rabkin, Naomi Hirahara, and Denise Hamilton, all at the MWA/Mystery Bookstore party. You can click on the images or a larger view).

More of This and That

I limped into the Mystery Bookstore party Friday with my bad back (thank God for Vicodin) and had a great time mingling with Victor Gischler, Denise Hamilton, Brett Battles, Gary Phillips, Colonel. Carol Higgins Clark (she was with me and Col. Bob Levinson in Owensboro, KY back in June), Robert Lugoni, Naomi Hirahara, Cara Black, Sarah Weinman, Paul Levine, Louise Ure, Mark Haskell Smith, and many many more talented folks. (Pictured: Naomi Hirahara, Sarah Weinman, Gary Phillips)

Tweeting About Twitter

I was quoted by reporter Chuck Barney for his Contra Costa Times article about celebrities using Twitter:

He says that, for many celebrity-obsessed fans, the glory of Twitter is all in the details.

 "I'm astounded by how mundane some of the interactions are," says Goldberg, a Walnut Creek native, who joined Twitter three months ago. "But it seems that the more mundanity there is in the tweets, the more personal and intimate the experience is for those involved. It's like, 'Hey, Madonna's having her period, and I know about it!'"

It's even more mundane than that. My Mom was totally thrilled to get a tweet from Neil Diamond letting her know that he was eating a Club sandwich for lunch. It allows people to feel like they have a intimate relationship with someone they actually don't know at all...and who doesn't know them, either. 

ABC Announces Renewals

TV Critic Alan Sepinwall reports that ABC has renewed just about everything on their schedule except their midseason shows (CASTLE, IN THE MOTHERHOOD, UNUSUALS, etc.) and two sitcoms -- SAMANTHA WHO and SCRUBS. But the missing shows, with the exception of LIFE ON MARS, haven't been given the ax just yet. Pick-ups for those bubble shows still could come once the network announces their new schedule in late May.

The full list of those shows that will definitely be on the air for the 09-10 season: "America's Funniest Home Videos," "The Bachelor," "Brothers & Sisters," "Dancing with the Stars," "Desperate Housewives," "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," "Grey's Anatomy," "Lost," "Private Practice," "Supernanny," "Ugly Betty" and "Wife Swap."

The End Game Has Got Game

My brother Tod's  BURN NOTICE: THE END GAME got a rave from Rod Lott at Bookgasm, who says, in part:

It is fun, capturing the show’s joyous, jubilant essence, but not, sadly, shots of well-endowed women in bikinis. [...]The book is quick, snappy and forever mirthful — just like its source material. And until that starts back up in the summer, this is a fine substitute for a weekly fix.

Party Hearty

The Mystery Bookstore in Westwood and the Mystery Writers of America are hosting a big pre-Book Festival party at the store on Friday night, April 24, 5-9pm. Here's the skinny:

PRE-FESTIVAL OF BOOKS PARTY!

Join us for this annual celebration of crime fiction, featuring food, drink, and visits from dozens of our closest friends. Our guest list is always subject to last-minute changes, but these are some of the folks who have promised to join us:

Shilpa Agarwal, Brett Battles, James Scott Bell, Cara Black, Marc Blatte, Carol Higgins Clark, Mary Higgins Clark, Dianne Emley, Tom Epperson, Christa Faust, David Fuller, Michelle Gagnon, Victor Gischler, Lee Goldberg, Chris Grabenstein, Robert Greer, Denise Hamilton, Naomi Hirahara, Gregg Hurwitz, Sue Ann Jaffarian, Craig Johnson, Leslie Klinger, John Lescroart, Paul Levine, Sheila Lowe, Lisa Lutz, Robert Masello, George Mastras, T. Jefferson Parker, Gary Phillips, William Rabkin, Cornelia Read, Patricia Smiley, Susan Arnout Smith, Mark Haskell Smith, Eric Stone, Kelli Stanley, Louise Ure, Sarah Weinman, Stuart Woods, Robert Dugoni, Jeri Westerson, John Morgan Wilson and Edward Wright!

This and That

Yesterday I had lunch with my buddy David Breckman, writer-producer-director on Monk. He's an even bigger TV geek than I am, which means we always have a lot of fun talking about old TV shows. He shared with me a terrific Banacek-esque plot that he wants to use if the pilot he's working on ever goes to series. I shared with him my take on a feature rewrite that I am in the running for. I guess the lunch was inspiring because I got home and finished up my outline for the next Monk book and sent it off to his older brother Andy.

I got a pass on jury duty again today and I'm hoping my luck holds and I get skipped tomorrow too, ending my week without getting called. Tomorrow night is the big MWA party at the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood, which I am looking forward to.

I'm heading back to London in mid-May for more meetings with networks and production companies, so I am making travel arrangements for that today and then, once that is done, I'm going to scrape the rust off of my creativity and get back to the "stand-alone" crime novel I set aside to finish my last Monk book.

Scarpetta Movie is Bourne Again

Fox has nabbed the movie rights to Patricia Cornwell's Kay Scarpetta books as a potential theatrical "franchise" for Angelina Jolie. But Variety reports that they aren't going to adapt the books, but rather use them as inspiration for new tales in the same way that the Bourne movies have used the original Robert Ludlum novels. In other words, they'll be taking the titles and not much else...which makes some sense, since the forensics that seemed so cutting edge when "Post Mortem" first came out have been done to death on the small screen with the three CSI series, NCIS, etc. 

The movie rights to the Scarpetta books have been optioned many times, and actresses as diverse as Helen Mirren and Demi Moore have been attached, but the project has always stalled (as have attempts to make Thomas Perry's Jane Whitefield and Michael Connelly's Harry Bosch novels into movies). It will be interesting to see if this one actually goes forward.

Whining and complaining

I've been slightly jet-lagged since I got back from Munich, and I've been on-call all week for jury duty, and there's been a heatwave, but none of that is bugging me. It's the writing. Actually, calling what I've been doing this week "writing" would be generous. I've been doing a lot of staring at the screen. I'm having a hard time plotting the latest MONK book and I've been trying to pick-up where I left off three months ago on my "stand-alone" crime novel. It has been going sluggishly...when it's going at all. I'm hoping I'll get back in the groove soon. 

Festival of Goldbergs

The Goldberg Brothers are going to be all over the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books this weekend at UCLA. I'll be kicking off the Festival by moderating the first panel on the first day -- at 10:30 in Dodd Hall with authors Steve Cannell, Jan Burke, Robert Dugoni and Craig Johnson. The panel will be followed by a booksigning. The Mystery Writers of America is sponsoring all the mystery-track panels in Dodd Hall throughout the weekend, so you can pretty much park yourself there all day and count on having a good time.

My brother Tod is moderating a panel at 3:30 on on Humor & Race with writer/producer Larry Wilmore, Lalo Alcaraz and Christian Lander. And he's got another panel at 12:30 on Sunday, also about humor, where he'll be yukking it up with Carolyn Kellogg, Seth Greenland and Ben Greenman.

Me, Tod and honorary Goldberg William Rabkin will be signing our books at the Mystery Bookstore booth on Sunday at 2 pm. 

There's also a Danny Goldberg who is going to be at the Festival, too, but he's no relation to us and doesn't have our rugged, Redford-esque good looks.

TV Main Titles of the Week - Special Europe Edition

TV Main Title of the Week

Help a Writer Restore His Life's Work

Writer Len Wein's house burned down, incinerating all the comic books that he wrote. My friend Mark Evanier is leading an effort to rebuild Wein's collection:

You know Len Wein. Award-winning comic book person. Co-creator of Swamp Thing and Wolverine and various other X-Men. Editor of Watchmen. Writer, at one time or other, of all the major characters: Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Hulk, you name it. That Len Wein. A great guy.

On April 6, 2009, a fire destroyed most of the home he was sharing with his wife Chris and their son Michael. As Len tells us, Chris was out when it happened. The men were home and asleep. He awoke to find the world in flames around him and he managed to get himself out and to save Michael, as well. Sadly, their beloved dog Sheba perished that day.

So did Len's collection of books and toys and games and artwork and those things we accumulate that help define and enrich our lives. You have stuff. He had stuff. Insurance will fix the house but many things, including his comics, were not covered. Some of us thought it would be grand if his friends and fans pitched in to help him recreate those shelves of the comic books he's worked on.

You can get the details here.

Mr. Monk and the Galley Giveaway

I have two extra, bound galleys for MR. MONK AND THE DIRTY COP which I will be giving away at random. Here's the deal...post a review of your favorite MONK novel on Amazon and send me a copy of it by June 1st at: lee AT Leegoldberg DOT com.

I will put the names into a hat and select two winners at random to receive a signed galley. Please be sure to include your snail mail address in the email. Winners will be announced here.

Fanficcers say "Uncle"

That delusional TWILIGHT fan isn't the only one trying to sell fanfiction on eBay...fanficcers L. Lazarus & A. Morrisetti have copied the look of the original MAN FROM UNCLE tie-in paperbacks from the 1960s to sell their unauthorized UNCLE novels on the auction site for $21.95 each:. 

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Continued...

NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE DISCONTINUED PRINTING OF THE BELOVED ACE NOVELS, NAPOLEON SOLO AND ILLYA KURYAKIN COME TO YOU ONCE AGAIN...IN PAPERBACK!

148 pages of sheer thrills and adventure just as you remember it from the original series. This book and the rest to come in this series are near exact replicas of the original paperbacks...but with new stories. Written by an actual screenwriter, you will feel you are seeing what you are reading.

A MUST HAVE for any U.N.C.L.E. fan.

Make room on your bookshelf right next to the ACE books you have loved and cherished for all these years.

They offer this laughable "disclaimer" :

THESE BOOKS ARE NOT ACE PUBLISHED NOVELS, NOR DO WE INTEND TO COPY ANY PART OF ANY ACE PUBLICATION. THESE BOOKS ARE FOR FAN USE ONLY AND ARE NOT INTENDED FOR MASS MEDIA DISTRIBUTION.

And yet, they have copied the Ace books and they are selling them on eBay, trying to make money off a property they don't own. 

One of the two idiots, who purports to be a "professional television writer with credits to include 'Hart to Hart''" is also selling an UNCLE novella for $18.00.

This is, of course, a blatant copyright violation, but my guess is that the guys think they can slide by because the underlying property is so old. My guess is that they are wrong.

UPDATE 4-19-2009:  They have revised their "disclaimer": 

These books are fan fiction and are not meant to infringe on any rights held by ACE Publishing, Warner Brothers, or any other entity who holds any rights to the Man from U.N.C.L.E., the television series or the previously published series of books. These books are NOT intended for mass distribution and are for fan use only!

I have news for these dimwits. Saying that you're not infringing on rights while you are doing just that doesn't make it okay. That's like saying "I'm not stealing your car even though I've just hotwired it, sped away in it, and am trying to sell it on Craig's List for money I will spend on hookers and blow. The car is intended for fan use only."

Day of the Living Dead

Today I was so jet-lagged that I felt like I was sleep walking around Munich. I know I looked like the undead. But I fortified myself with some tea and chocolate at Kafer before the big pitch and it went well. Between the sugar, caffeine and adreniline, I've managed to stay alert from mid-afternoon until right about now (8:30 pm on Thursday night). We had a post-pitch discussion over dinner and then on my way back to the hotel I treated myself to a Kopenhagener pastry for a job well done. I am going to go to bed as soon as I finish typing this post.  Tomorrow morning I have a breakfast meeting with my friends at Hofmann & Voges Productions and then it's back to L.A.   All in all, I think it was  a very productive  five days that I hope to build upon in the coming weeks.

Hot Dogging

Greetings from Munich. I arrived here on Tuesday night from London, where it was rainy and gray, to weather that felt more like Southern California than Germany. I guzzled Diet Coke on the flight so that I wouldn't fall asleep when I met my friends Daniela & David Tully for drinks at 9 p.m.  Daniela is a top executive at ProSeiben, a major German network, and her American husband David is a screenwriter. It was great to see them again and to get caught up on the state of the German TV market (which is lousy, just like everywhere else).

The next morning I awoke to a beautiful day...clear blue skies, warm weather. It was the nicest weather I've ever had in Munich and I took full advantage of it, walking all over the city and discovering it anew.  The best part was sitting in the Viktualienmarkt, eating a delicious hotdog and butter streusel, sipping Diet Coke, and enjoying the scenery.

I got back to the hotel in mid-afternoon for meetings with my friends at Action Concept, the studio I am working with over here. I ended the day with a nice long dinner at an outside table at an old Bavarian restaurant with Heiko Schmidt, the terrific line producer I worked with on FAST TRACK. I was in bed by midnight...but I awoke at 3:30 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up around 4, called home, answered some emails, and studied my notes for my meetings.

Now it's 7 a.m. I have been up for three-and-a-half hours already, and my meetings start with breakfast at 9. The most important meeting is at 3, when I will have to pitch three projects to a potential international coproduction partner. I hope I don't fall asleep in middle of it.

Tomorrow morning I head back to L.A....and hope to do some serious plotting for my next  MONK book on the plane. On Monday I start jury duty.

TV Main Title of the Week

Lazy Monday

I woke up at 6 a.m. on Monday...I would have liked to sleep more after a day without sleep, but that's jet-lag for  you. I say in bed for an hour, trying to sleep, then  got up, had breakfast at a nice little cafe, and spent an hour or so making notes on a feature rewrite that I am up for. Then I roamed around London as it woke up, too. 

Around noon, I headed out to actor Shaun Prendergast's  home for easter and had a marvelous time with his friends and family. I lost track of most their names in my jet-lag haze, but there were lots of actors and writers there, including Stephen Tompkinson, the star of a series called WILD AT HEART. I've  never seen his show but I knew that I'd seen him before, I just couldn't place his face until the train ride back into London...he was in the final PRIME SUSPECT.

 Stephen and his wife shared some fascinating stories about life in South Africa. They also shot a documentary in Africa...I didn't quite get what it was about, but part of it involved taking tribesmen up in a hot  air balloon to see their land from the sky for the first time.  Another actor, who I gathered is also a director, regaled us with tales about his time on location in India on SHARPE'S PERIL.

Anyway, I had a great time chatting while stuffing myself with Shaun's delicious steak & oyster pie, roast potatos, and all sorts of tasty dishes laid out buffet-style on a big table in the kitchen. I learned that the TV business in the UK is going through a rough patch, too. Shows are being asked to significantly trim their budgets or face cancellation. I was told that two hit shows, LEWIS and WIRE IN THE BLOOD, were cancelled over costs and that one of the networks is on shaky financial footing. I'm sure I will learn more about that when I have breakfast with my UK  agent and head off together for some studio meetings.

I spent my evening walking around London and then went back to my hotel room to write up my notes for my pitch on the feature rewrite...and was in bed by 11. I awoke 45 minutes ago...at 5 am. Wide awake. That's jet-lag. I have lots of meetings this morning...then a flight to Munich late this afternoon...and drinks tonight with some friends from a German TV network. I hope I can catch a nap on the plane...

London Calling

Just a few days ago I was in Cape Girardeau Missouri and today I am in London. The contrast is pretty jarring. I haven't slept in over 24 hours so I am seeing the city through a Zombie's eyes. It's Sunday, all the stores are closed, but the streets are jammed with people. I don't know if this is normal for London or not...but it looks odd to these bloodshot eyes. It's 3 pm here...time for me to take a quick nap...then I will try to stay up until 10 pm to try to get a step ahead of my jet lag. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...

I am off to Europe  in a few minutes for two and a half days in London and two and a half days in Munich. In London, I'll spend Easter Monday with actor Shaun Prendergast and his family (Shaun was one of the stars of my film FAST TRACK). On Tuesday,  I'll be meeting my UK agent for the first time face-to-face for breakfast and then he's got meetings set up for me with some studios. Then I am jetting off to Munich, where I will be joining my good friends at Action Concept to pitch some projects to broadcasters. It's going to be a whirlwind week but I am really looking forward to it.  It's been a year since I've been to Europe but it feels like much longer, especially after spending so many months working there in 2006 & 2007. 

Revised Thinking

I watched the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA finale again tonight. Don't ask me why. Procrastination, maybe? Anway, I liked it much more the second time around. It's a better finale than I initially thought it was.

The Mail I Get

This one came today from Amazon Customer Service and the subject was "Your Amazon Inquiry." But I didn't make an inquiry. Here's what it said:

My name is Janet; I am a senior member of our Connect team, a part of my job consists of deciding if AmazonConnect postings adhere to our guidelines. As such, your account was brought to my attention.

Some of your posts have been found to be spiteful. In order to facilitate customer buying choices, we encourage authors to discuss their work and information related to it, however posts that are spiteful will be removed.

If this continues, we will remove your posting privileges from your AmazonConnect account in accordance with our Conditions of Use.

My Amazon blog is a mirror of this one. I was curious which posts troubled Amazon (if it's really Amazon, of course... it's probably a ruse) and sent this note:

Spiteful? Oh my. Please indicate to me which specific posts of mine you believe are "spiteful" and why so I can better understand Amazon's thinking in this regard.

I'll let you know what they say.

Huh?

Fox is yanking DOLLHOUSE after episode 12 and will not air the 13th episode. Now, on the surface, that would scream "The Show is Cancelled." But the folks at DOLLHOUSE are spinning this news in a very odd way. See if you can follow this explanation from producer Tim Minnear:

Okay. So maybe I can help clarify this somewhat. Because we scrapped the original pilot — and in fact cannibalized some of its parts for other eps — we really ended up with 12 episodes. But the studio makes DVD and other deals based on the original 13 number. So we created a standalone kind of coda episode. Which is the mythical new episode 13. The network had already paid for 13 episodes, and this included the one they agreed to let us scrap for parts. It does not include the one we made to bring the number back up to 13 for the studio side and its obligations. We always knew it would be for the DVD for sure, but we also think Fox should air it because it's awesome.

If I understand this correctly, and I'm not entirely sure that I do, he's saying that the Fox Network ordered 13 episodes, which included the pilot, which was scrapped and cannibalized in subsequent epoisodes. But the Fox Studios made commitments to networks overseas and to a DVD distributor for thirteen episodes. So, since they were one episode short after dumping the pilot, the studio alone bore the cost of shooting an extra episode that the network doesn't feel like airing.

Keep in mind that the studio and the network are owned by the same people...Fox. They are simply moving cash from one pocket to another.

So here's the bottom line: Fox Studios paid to produce an episode that The Fox Network doesn't want to air (in other words, they don't want to pay a $3 million license fee for a show that's delivering terrible ratings). What does that tell you about the network's confidence in the show? A lot.

More Vanity Press Kool Aid

Every time a major magazine or new outlet does a story touting self-publishing, in this case a piece on the CNN tech website, I get inundated by readers asking me what I think. So does Victoria Strauss at Writers Beware...only she probably gets it ten times worse than I do. She's written a post on the formula most of these articles usually follow. She says, in part, that they:

1. Pick a rare instance of self-publishing success--in this case, Lisa Genova, whose iUniverse-published novel Still Alice garnered a major publishing deal. Make sure not to tell the whole story--omit, for instance, the fact that Genova hired PR firm Kelly & Hall--the same firm that propelled self-published Brunonia Barry to success--to publicize her book, and acquired a literary agent as a result of the attention Kelly & Hall was able to generate.

2. Segue to the growth of self-publishing and the great possibilities it offers for budding authors, while taking a swipe at the commercial publishing industry. Totally ignore the contradiction inherent in the fact the success of the self-published author just discussed hinged on her transition to a commercial publisher.

3. Toss out a few random facts about self-publishing (not all of them necessarily relevant--Khatami notes that the self-published author "retains the copyright to his or her book," as if this were not the case with commercial publishing), while ignoring the issue of low sales (the average self-published book sells fewer than 200 copies) and limited distribution (most self-pubbed books are not distributed beyond the Internet).

These articles never mention the tens of thousands of dollars that these "successful" self-published authors had to spend...and how extraordinarily rare it is for vanity press authors jump to a real publisher, which despite their hoo-hawing for vanity presses is what they all want.

The CNN website story mentions that Lulu has published 820,000 titles since 2002 but they don't say how many of those authors actually sold more than a few dozen copies of their work. A real reporter might have asked that question...and posted the answer as a reality-check. But this was nothing more than a vanity press puff piece...the last thing anyone was interested in doing was shining a light on the ugly truth.

AuthorHouse's online Fact Sheet, updated in September 2008, reported 36,823 authors and 45,993 titles. According to the New York Times, AuthorHouse reports selling more than 2.5 million books in 2008, which sounds like a lot, but averages out to around 54 sales per title.

iUniverse's 2005 Facts and Figures sheet reports that the company published 22,265 titles through the end of that year, with sales of 3.7 million: an average of 166 sales per title. Obviously some titles can boast better sales (Amy Fisher's If I Knew Then sold over 32,000 copies)--but not many. According to a 2004 article in Publishers Weekly, only 83 of more than 18,000 iUniverse titles published during that year sold at least 500 copies. And in a 2008 article in The New York Times, iUniverse's VP, Susan Driscoll, admitted that most iUniverse authors sell fewer than 200 books.

The vanity presses make their money selling books to authors, not selling books to readers.

There are three more items on Victoria's list and I'm going to refer people to it every time they email me a mindless article like this one.

Goodbye, Starlog

Starlog Magazine is no more -- at least not in print. This is very sad news for me because I put myself through school writing for the magazine (among others) and it had an enormous impact on my life that I am still feeling today. 

On assignment for Starlog, I visited hundreds of movie and TV sets and interviewed so many actors, screenwriters, directors...people like Tom Cruise, Robert Zemeckis, Roy Scheider, Paul Verhoeven, Roger Moore, Michael J. Fox, Michael Crichton, William Friedkin, Sigourney Weaver, Richard Donner, Timothy Hutton, Gene Roddenberry, Richard Maibaum, Dan O'Bannon, Tom Selleck, Wes Craven, Kurt Russell, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Marquand, Tobe Hooper, Johnny Depp, George Lucas, and Lorenzo Semple Jr., to name just a few. And I learned a lot about the movie and TV business along the way.

I collected some of those interviews, along with articles by my friends (and fellow Starlog writers) William Rabkin and Randy & Jean-Marc Lofficier,  in two books -- Science Fiction Film-Making in the 1980s and Dreamweavers: Fantasy Film-making in the 1980s.

Perhaps the highlight of my time as a reporter for Starlog was when they flew me to London to cover the premiere of THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, the first James Bond film starring Timothy Dalton. 

All the journalists were invited by the studio to the premiere, which Prince Charles and Lady Diana were attending as well. We had to wear tuxedos and were driven to the event in limos. There were huge crowds being held back behind barracades in front of the Odeon Theatre as we pulled up. I got out of the limo just as a short young lady was emerging from the limo in front of me, so we walked in together. People were going nuts, taking pictures of us and waving. I leaned over and whispered to her: "Makes you wish you were famous, doesn't it?"

She laughed, patted my arm, and we parted in the lobby. Almost immediately I was swarmed by my fellow reporters. One of them asked "Do you know who you were walking with?"

I had no idea. I figured she was another reporter. He told me it was Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders. I still had no idea who she was. So either she thought my remark was clever or that I was a complete dolt for not knowing who she was. But I like to think that somewhere out there is a photo from that event with a caption like "Chrissie Hynde with unidentified lover."

But, most of all, I am thankful to Starlog for my family. If not for the magazine, I might never have met the charming Lofficiers, which would have been a terrible thing...since they introduced me to my wife Valerie. We've been married for 19 years and have a 13-year-old daughter, Madison.

So for me, Starlog was more than a magazine that covered science fiction and fantasy movies, books and TV shows. It changed my life.

Good-bye, Starlog. I will miss you.

UPDATE: Starlog is gathering some of the reactions to the bad news. My good friend Dave McDonnell, long-time editor of the magazine, posted this:

"Lee Goldberg is an old friend of mine. His unsolicited interview "The Man who Killed Spock" (WRATH OF KHAN writer Jack Sowards) was on my desk the day I started. I lobbied to buy it and he wrote countless pieces for us."

It was my first national magazine sale and I was totally thrilled. That sale, along with tearsheets from some of my subsequent Starlog articles, led to me writing for Newsweek, United Press International, American Film, San Francisco Chronicle, and the Los Angeles Times syndicate, among many others. But you never forget your "first."

UPDATE 4-15-2009: More reactions to the news from Entertainment Weekly,  SFSignal,  Bob Greenberger, Mark Evanier, John Kenneth Muir and my cousin Danny Barer.

An Unpleasant Word

The Winepress Group's print-on-demand vanity press Pleasant Word, which calls itself  "a leading light in Christian self-publishing," is threatening to sue author Mark Levine for criticizing their business practices and proclaiming them "a publisher to avoid" in his book "The Fine Print of Self-Publishing" (which I favorably reviewed).  Winepress/Pleasant Word sent out a press release through the Christian Communications Network that reads, in part:

His review of Pleasant Word closes with the statement that "there are plenty of honest Christian publishers. Find one."

In the book, Mr. Levine asserts that he holds publishers "who cloak their services around religion to a higher standard." However, he ranks another Christian publisher as "Outstanding," despite comparing poorly on many of the same criteria he used to judge Pleasant Word.

The Winepress Group has been a leading light in Christian self-publishing since 1991 and enjoys a reputation for integrity and quality within the industry. The company is also a member of the Better Business Bureau with an excellent record.

"This is not about a bad review," said Malcolm Fraser, the Executive Officer at WinePress, "Mr. Levine's research was certainly poor and his conclusions are totally inconsistent, but he's entitled to his opinion. However, he has misrepresented the facts and published statements that are blatantly untrue. His accusations of dishonesty cross the line into slander and break the law. It's potentially very damaging to our reputation and harmful to everyone connected with the company."

What Levine has done is scrutinize Pleasant Word's contract and fee structure in detail and comes to the conclusion that company is not very author friendly.  For instance, Pleasant Word claims they give their authors, excuse me customers, 100% of the net profits, which Levine says is not the case:

The author makes 100% of the profits after Pleasant Word nearly doubles the printing price and adds a handling fee

For a book priced at $17.99 and sold on Amazon, Levine calculates that the author's royalty is a mere fifty cents...while Pleasant Word pockets $3.60. Praise the Lord. Levine writes:

I believe it's a compromise of Christian values (and just about every other moral value I can think of) when a publisher leads authors to believe that its printing costs are 100% higher than they actually are.  

[...]When a publisher choose to make religion a central focus of its service and writes copy that suggests that due to strong Christian principles authors "know they can trust us," the publisher has a duty to be over-the-top honest. Being less than forthright about the real printing costs, while advertising how honest and Christian it is, instantly makes Pleasant Word a publisher to avoid. 

[...]There are simply no pleasant words to describe the business practices of this publisher. 

For the record, Levine also lists Tate, another "Christian" vanity press, among the self-publishers to avoid. But he praises Xulon Press as "hands down [...] the best exclusively Christian self-publishing company out there."

Mrs. Potato Head Speaks

Lady Sybilla, the much-maligned, crack-pot author of  "Russet Noon," a self-published, fanfic sequel to TWILIGHT, has given an interview to a Brazillian website. She says, in part: 

F: So besides all the problems you are excited and proud of it? 

A: Absolutely, I know there’s been a strong reaction, and I’ve learned to take the good with the bad. 

F: So what do you see as good? Cause I know that a lot of the fans don’t want it, but a lot of them do. 

A: Yes, I have to thank the haters for the publicity. 

F: And how the release is gonna be, still September on the internet? 

A: Well, I had already bought an ISBN number for it and everything but I withdrew it, because I realized I’d never get away with selling it, so I gave refunds to all the Ebay buyers, and now I’m waiting a while to see how things turn out. But probably the release will still be September, in chapters online. 

F: Do you feel like your work its more like a regular book or a fanfic in a bigger scale? Cause some people say it is. 

A: I believe I have more training and education than the average fanfic writer, so that’s the only reason I wanted to release it as a book, but I guess it’s been turned into a huge moral issue. 

F: So about the whole publication problem and rights,did you receive any contact from Stephenie’s people? 

A: Yes, that’s definitely a legal mess, no attorney will defend me if I decide to publish. Stephenie’s rep or even herself didn’t contact me, I believe she probably has her mind made up about me already. I think she laughs at the whole situation, to be honest, it’s just hilarious, the rage, the hate, the strong emotions.

Mrs. Potato Head, although she considers herself more educated than your average fanficcer, seems to have realized too late that she has no understanding whatsoever of copyright law. I suspect this revelation came sometime after eBay shut down her account for terms of use violations and shortly before the cease-and-desist letters came from Meyer's attorney, publishers, etc. Yes, I think she's lying about not being slapped down by Meyer & Co. Her  "Russet Noon" website has been shuttered for "renovations" and the press releases touting her fanfic novel have been yanked from prlog.org.

I love that Mrs. Potato Head has the audacity to presume that Meyer sides with her. What an idiot. 

UPDATE 4-19-2009: It's official, Mrs.Potato Head is insane. She has issued yet another rambling, nearly incoherent press release. Her new argument for copyright infringement is that we are all part of some vast, shared mind and therefore anything that anyone claims to create really belongs to everyone. At least, I think that's what she's saying. You decide:

Writers and readers all over the net have opened their eyes to the truth: authors sell their fanfiction and get away with it. Sure, published authors play a safe game around copyright laws and change the names and circumstances of their characters around just enough to claim they've created a new character.[...]No author truly creates characters. The characters already exist in the archetypal world that Jung, Freud and Joseph Campbell have described in their books. The author is a medium who channels these characters. The origin of all characters is the Shared Mind, the only mind that truly exists. Our minds are all one single ocean of shared memories, fantasies, dreams, nightmares and visions [...]Laws that attempt to privatize the ownership of characters operate based on a delusion of separateness that we all share in this matrix we call reality.

Uh-huh. I think Mrs. Potato Head lost touch with this "matrix we call reality" a long, long time ago.

Appreciating Garforth's Avengers

Novelist & TV writer Stephen Gallagher (perhaps best known here for creating THE ELEVENTH HOUR) stumbed on tie-in writer John Garforth's blog:

Garforth wrote four Avengers novels for Panther Books in 1967. Two years earlier Hodder and Stoughton had put outDeadline and Dead Duck, two rather classy tie-ins written by Peter Leslie but with Patrick Macnee credited as their author... which seemed as transparent and ludicrous to my eleven-year-old self as it does now. Both had their virtues. Leslie's books read like a literary source from which the show might have been adapted; Garforth's Panthers were shorter, racier, and had a more contemporary feel to them. All were true tie-ins as opposed to novelisations; which is to say, they were original works based on the series' characters, and not pre-existing scripts adapted into prose form.

Check out Stephen's appreciation and, of course, Garforth's blog.

TV Main Title of the Week

Blessed

I am blessed to be in Missouri. Literally. On the flight to St. Louis, the stewardess told me to have a blessed night. And today, when I had lunch in Cape Girardeau at the Everything Is Fried Buffet (okay, that wasn't the name of the place, but it should have been), the waitress told me to have a blessed day. What they really should have at the buffet is a priest on hand to perform last rites. I was the thinnest person in the place by fifty pounds, and I'm not exactly scrawny. Everything they serve is fried, breaded, or noodled. It's no wonder that every patron except me prayed before they ate.

Cape Girardeau is Rush Limbaugh's home town, which explains a lot about Rush. There's a mural of him on the levee downtown and I've got a picture of myself in front of it.  I skipped the tour to his birthplace and the soda fountain where he hung out as a kid and the alley where he was beaten up every day after school.

I'm here for the 94th Annual Missouri Writer's Guild Conference. Yesterday and today Kate Angelella, an editor at Simon & Schuster, and I critiqued manuscripts that were read to us. I kid you not. Two pages were read to us and we had to offer a critique in front of the audience. That's not really fair to the writer or to us, but we all played along anyway. Kate and I were very candid and it's a credit to Missouri writers that neither one of us was beaten up in the parking lot afterwards, though one guy did follow me into the mens room and, while I was peeing, asked me for more advice on his story.

"This isn't a good time," I said, standing at the urinal.

"Why not?"

"Because I am peeing,"

He looked over the divider at me peeing. "How many Diet Pepsis did you have today?"

I wasn't the only one who got hit up in the bathroom for editorial guidance. One of the women authors was sitting in a stall when a lady in the next one slid a manuscript under the divider for her to read.

My keynote address went all right -- I only made one reference to bowel movements and three to gang rape, or so I am told. Afterwards, I was asked to assist with the awards ceremony and to hug the winners (most of whom were women). I am not exaggerating when I say that there were at least fifty awards given...a good many of them to the same woman. By the end of the night, I felt like I'd committed adultery.

Tomorrow I do a three hour TV writing seminar and then I head back to L.A...

  

Missouri Bound

Today I am on my way to speak, and teach a TV writing seminar, at the 94th Annual Missouri Writer's Guild Conference in Cape Girardeau over the weekend. I have never been to Missouri, so I am looking forward to it. I don't know if I'll have a chance to blog from there or not. 

Worst Finale Ever?

No, I'm not talking about ER...I am talking about the bland American remake of the UK series LIFE ON MARS. The show was about a cop who is hit by a car...and wakes up in the 1970s. He's not sure whether he has gone back in time, whether he's imagining the whole thing,. or whether he is dead and experiencing the afterlife...or something else altogether. Throughout the series (which only ran 16 episodes in the UK) he is trying to get back to his own time by solving crimes which he believes will eventually lead him to the solution to his own predicament... and the way out.

SPOILER ALERT!

In the British version, the hero discovers that he was in a coma and that his experience in the 1970s was all a dream. He returns to his "real" life in 2007 but just doesn't fit in any more. He has become so emotionally and psychologically attached to the people in his his fantasy life that he ends up committed suicide to return to that make-believe world. It was a dark way to end the show but, at the same time, it actually worked.

In the far inferior American version, the hero discovers that he isn't from 2009 either...he's an astronaut in the future who has spent the last two years in suspended animation on a mission to Mars... and that his experience in 2009 and 1973 was all a dream induced by some haywire computer program. All the "characters" in his dream turn out, Oz-like, to have been his fellow astronauts in different guises. It was inane... and done so cheaply that it looks like an SNL skit. It was probably one of the worst, if not THE worst, series finale I've ever seen.