A Writer's Life

TV Main Title of the Week

This and That

My wife and daughter are in France for a month, so I'm all alone at home...unless you count my daughter's dog, the hamster and the fish. I feel like a zoo keeper...my life has become BORN FREE in a tract home. But the solitude has given me the chance to catch up on some books and movies, when I'm not cleaning backyards, cages and fish tanks...

 OSS 117: LE CAIRE NID D'ESPIONS

This French spy spoof is everything GET SMART wanted to be and AUSTIN POWERS should have been. It perfectly mimics the look, feel, sound, fashion and acting style of the 1960s spy films down to the smallest, lovingly crafted detail. And on top of that, it's hilariously funny, too.

  IN BRUGES

This a bloody, dark comedy about two hit men who are sent by their boss to chill out in Bruges, Belgium after an assignment goes bad. I loved everything about this film which, in terms of tone and violence, is sort of a cross between PULP FICTION, JACKIE BROWN and SEXY BEAST. I don't understand why this movie didn't generate some attention...it's seemed to open and close in a weekend here in L.A.. It's a shame, because this may be one of the best movies I've seen all year.

WANTED

Sure, the stunts and effects are cool, but this movie left me cold. I just never got into the characters or the story. I found myself glancing at my watch, biding my time until the next stunt. It badly wants to be THE MATRIX or BOURNE IDENTITY, but to me it felt like I was watching a video game instead of an actual movie.

SERAPHIM FALLS

A post-Civil War western starring Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson, both of whom were totally miscast. Not that it mattered. It's a strange cross between OUTLAW JOSEY WALES, JEREMIAH JOHNSON, and RAMBO, and not a fraction as entertaining or fresh as those movies. Brosnan plays a former Union soldier (who apparently has Navy SEAL survival training) relentlessly pursued through snow-capped mountains and parched deserts by vengeance-seeking former Rebel soldier Neeson. Neither man is a villain or a hero which is, of course, the point of the movie, which is driven home with the subtlety of a wrecking ball. The movie seems tired, familiar, and pointless.

THE GARGOYLE

This isn't a movie, but rather one of the hot galleys from BookExpo. It's by first-time author Andrew Davidson and it's a breath-taking, though problematic, debut. The story falls into what is becoming something of a genre unto itself:  the "wounded man finds redemption and love with the woman who nurses him back to health" and who endures his agony by escaping into a fantasy world of imagination and flashbacks. The story, as a result, shares some similarities to THE ENGLISH PATIENT, THE SINGING DETECTIVE and THE WATERDANCE, to name a few. Despite some familiar motifs, this is a brilliant, compelling, and darkly funny novel...at least for the first two-thirds. It's about a coked-up porno actor who is in a terrible car accident that nearly burns him alive. It's in the burn ward that he meets a woman who is either a schizophrenic or his lover from several past lives. To say more would ruin things. I was enthralled for the first two thirds of the book, as much by the story as the prose. Davidson is a master storyteller, and I don't say that lightly. I can't believe this is his first novel. The writing and structure evokes John Irving, Robertson Davies, and Susanna Clarke...with several "side trips" that could stand alone as mini-novellas (something Irving has done in several of his books by having his "author" characters share their stories or by using extended, anecdotal flashbacks). The book fumbles in the finale third, with an extended dream sequence and a limp, pointlessly drawn out conclusion that doesn't satisfy on any level. It doesn't matter. That small disappointment is more than outweighed by the brilliance of what precedes it. The characters, images and stories in this amazing book will stay with you long after you've finished reading. I strongly recommend it.

Get Smart Isn't

I loved the TV series GET SMART and I still do. You could pick any episode from the first three seasons of GET SMART and it would be ten times funnier than Steve Carrell's new movie version. The GET SMART movie is a listless, laughless remake that makes THE NUDE BOMB, the last GET SMART feature film, look like brilliant comedy. But while I was sitting there, fighting sleep and debating whether to walk out or not, it occurred to me that GET SMART has a lot of the same problems as Steve Martin's THE PINK PANTHER remake. In both cases, someone made the inept decision to make the bumbling heroes smart and capable...and very good at what they do. Maxwell Smart and Inspector Clouseau were lovable, clueless, idiots who thought they were brilliant at what they did...and were far, far from it. That was what made them so funny. So why change the key aspect of their characters? The two Steves are extraordinarily funny guys -- but have their egos become so big they are hesitant about playing morons? That wasn't a problem for either one of them in the past (see THE JERK or ANCHORMAN).  If they didn't want to play Maxwell Smart and Inspector Clouseau as we know and love them...then why bother playing the parts at all? They even screwed up the "Would you believe" and "missed it by that much" jokes.

The only thing I liked about the GET SMART movie was the very, very, very in-joke of seeing Carrell use all three of the cars that Maxwell Smart drove in the series opening title sequence (cameos by Bernie Kopell and Leonard Stern seemed awkwardly shoe-horned into the movie). But that one moment was hardly worth the agony of watching the rest of the movie.

The Drama Behind Drama

Today was the first day of a three-day "International Drama Summit" conference that MediaXChange, in cooperation with CBS, NATPE and Fox, put together here in L.A.  A sobering fact came out of a panel discussion today with Jeff Wachtel, head of USA Network, and David Stapf, head of programming for CBS and Paramount. They were asked point-blank by David Zucker (who heads Ridley Scott's TV production company) if they would ever buy a contemporary TV series set in Europe or South America, written and produced by Americans and starring American actors...and they both answered with a flat-out NO.

The only exceptions Stapf and Wachtel said they would consider would be shows set in the past (ala ROME, THE TUDORS or ROBINSON CRUSOE) or that are science fiction (which are likely to be set on other planets, regardless of what country they are shot in).  They believe that America audiences simply won't accept a contemporary series set in Europe, no matter how big the stars are. They said there hasn't been a successful network show set in Europe since the days of THE AVENGERS, THE SAINT and I SPY thirty five years ago...and they were unwilling to be the ones to try to break that record.

(So, if their views reflect those of other American network chiefs, I was doomed on FAST TRACK as a series before I ever started...though the movie has quite done well internationally as a "one off" and made money)

That said, Stapf and Wachtel said they are very open to buying formats from overseas and setting them in America...as the networks have done in a big way this season LIFE ON MARS, 11th HOUR, MYTHOLOGICAL EX, THE TREATMENT, and NY-LON, to name a few. The key is adapting the format to what they called our "uniquely American sensibility." A BBC exec on the panel said the biggest difference was story-telling...he said British programs tend to meander more, "though there is some pleasure to be had in meandering."

They also talked about how immensely successful U.S. shows are in Europe and that American studios actively consider the international sales potential of whatever they are developing for the domestic networks.

There was also a fascinating panel of executives and content providers discussing the potential for drama on the web. Christopher Sandberg, of the Companyp in Sweden, said the key difference between TV and the web comes is how they view the relationship between content and the audiences. In the broadcast model, the important thing is getting the viewer to click his remote to your program and to stay there to watch it. In the web model, it's not getting the audience to the content that counts, it's what the audience does when they get there that matters...and that is what is saleable to advertisers. Passive viewing isn't enough in the new media world. What the web provider is selling advertisers is the audience involvement, and how people are experiencing, interactin with, & utilizing the content...not simply the audience's eyeballs.

Fascinating stuff.

TV Main Title of the Week - 1984 Super Bonus Edition

Six rare, super-cheesy, main titles...MASQUERADE, LOTTERY, EMPIRE, LEGMEN, THE MASTER and BLUE THUNDER. Enjoy!

Leaving Kentucky

This was the final day of the International Mystery Writer's Festival. CSI Creator Anthony Zuiker and I did a panel together that became a wide-ranging discussion about TV, the state of the industry, and the balance between story & high concept in a series (that's Bob Levinson, striking his usual pose, with Zuiker and me). It was a lot of fun and I think I found it as informative as the enthusiastic audience did. I caught the last stage performance of MAPES FOR HIRE (which the local newspaper reported today may be heading to Monterey as early as August) and was a presenter at the Second Annual Angie Awards, where special honors/statuettes were given to Zuiker and Mary Higgins Clark for their contributions to the mystery genre. At the riverfront "after party," I chatted for quite
some time with Owensboro Mayor Tom Watson who, in addition to being extremely affable and engaging, is the widest man I've ever met. Not fat, W I D E. I mean he's just huge...and strong. He casually slapped me on the back with a hearty laugh, dislocating my shoulder and paralyzing me from the neck down for ten minutes. You don't want to arm-wrestle with this man.
All in all, I had a fantastic time...as both a participant and a play-goer, and look forward to attending the Festival again some day. A woman who came to one of my booksigning even invited me and my family to stay at her home, that's how friendly and hospitable people in Kentucky are. I lost count of how many women, young and old, called me "honey," "sweetie," "sugar," and  "sweetheart" this week. I'm afraid if my wife comes with me next time, she's going to think I slept with every woman in town.

Mr. Monk Gets Another Star

Blogger and reviewer Gerald So has given MR. MONK IN OUTER SPACE a positive review. He writes, in part:

What may be the purest fun Monk novel may also be the most harrowing, thanks to the looming presence of a hitman. It's to Goldberg's credit the two extremes work together for another great read.

Thanks, Gerald!

The Jewish Colonels

J. Allen Eskridge III, Kentucky's assistant Secretary of State, made my day at a packed ceremony at RiverPark Performing Arts Center. On behalf of the Governor and the Secretary of State, Eskridge presented Gene Hackman with a scroll commissioning him as a Kentucky Colonel, the state's highest honor, and told the Academy Award winning actor that he would be joining a distinguished list "that includes Winston Churchill,  Muhammad Ali, and Lee Goldberg." I'm sure Gene was very flattered to be in my company.
My friend Bob Levinson also became a Colonel today, and an honorary judge, and got the key to the city. Stuart Kaminsky got all that stuff, too. The Jews are invading Owensboro. Expect a Kosher deli to open on Main Street any day now.

I'm guessing about 500 people lined up to have Gene Hackman sign their books. It must have been a shock to Mary Higgins Clark. For perhaps the first time in decades, her signing line was shorter than another attending author's. If her ego was bruised, she didn't show it. She was elegant, charming and gracious, as usual. I won't tell you how long my line was. Let's just say I was a distant third. Or maybe fourth.

I'm sneaking  out for some more BBQ now before CSI creator Anthony Zuiker screens some clips from his show and answers questions  on the big, out-door stage. I'll try not the stain my shirt.

(A big thank you to Bryan Leazenby of Onsite Images for taking the photo)

TV Main Title of the Week Saturday Morning Bonus Edition

Mr. Monk and the Blog Reviews

MR. MONK GOES TO GERMANY is author/publisher/editor/reviewer/man-of-the-world Ed Gorman's favorite Monk book so far. He says, in part:

For me the only thing more fun than watching Monk is reading the adventures Lee Goldberg creates for him.

[...]As usual Mr. Goldberg not only keeps the story rolling, he also gives us a plenty of smiles and out-loud laughs along the way. This time he gives a sense of a foreign milieu as well, some very sly travel commentary from time to time. The Monk books take a series that is one of the best on TV and makes it even better. No small accomplishment. I can't wait for the next one

But if that wasn't flattering enough, Ed goes on to talk about my novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE.

Whenever I review one of Lee's books I feel guilty if I don't mention his masterpiece, The Man With The Iron-On Badge. This is a novel that pays tribute to the classic private eyes by introducing a funny, cranky, sly and very bright guy named Harvey Mapes who between honoring his twin obsessions junk food and crime fiction on page and tv screen manages to become more than just a security guard--he becomes a private eye, kind of.

[...]The mystery here is cleverly drawn and not without grit and real suspense. The other aspect is the tour of LA that Lee/Harvey takes us on. Too much of LA fiction plays the usual songs. But the cunning detail in Iron-On Badge makes everything from gated communities to eating at Denny's seem brand new. This is because we're seeing it through the eyes of a burned-out working class guy who takes us inside his dotty but endearing fantasy life.

This is one of those novels that will be around for a long, long time. It's that good.

I hope he's right, though the book is hard-to-find. I still haven't managed to get a deal for a mass market paperback edition...but I'm working on it.

Thanks so much, Ed!

Colonel Goldberg

I did a little research into what it means to be named a Kentucky Colonel (as I was a few nights ago here in Owensboro). It's the highest honor awarded by the Commonwealth of Kentucky and is given by the Governor and Secretary of State to "those who make exceptional efforts to enrich the lives of Kentuckians and the world at large."

I'm joining a distinguished (and eclectic) list that includes Pope John Paul II, Bob Barker, Bill Clinton, Billy Ray Cyrus, Bing Crosby, Barry Manilow, Ronald Reagan, Peter Graves, Norman Schwarzkopf, Winston Churchill, Wynonna Judd, Tiger Woods, and, of course, Harlan Sanders. To say I am flattered...and stunned...is an understatement.

Yesterday, Colonel Goldberg went to Nashville and did all the tourist stuff. And ate at Jack's BBQ...twice. It was the best BBQ of the trip so far. Today Gene Hackman and CSI creator/showrunner Anthony Zuiker join the Festival here in Owensboro. The Colonel is looking forward to meeting them both.
 

The Play is the Thing

I typed a big, long post and then hit save...and my browser crashed. I HATE it when that happens. So I will try to reconstruct the post as best I can.

I began the day by doing a phone interview with a local morning radio show from the comfort of my bed, still half-asleep. I told the DJ that all the women in the offices at the RiverPark Performing Arts Center listen to him while they shower...and that I was doing his show so I could say women listen to me while lathering up, too. I think  he liked that...but I don't think the women at the front office did.

I had a pleasant surprise at breakfast. I sat down at my power table at Denny's, opened up the Owensboro Messenger Inquirer, and saw that tonight's free, out-door screening of FAST TRACK and an interview with me was front page news. Either I am very hot stuff or there isn't much going on in town. I'll let you decide.

I stopped by the International Bluegrass Museum. I don't know much about that kind of music, so it was very interesting for me. After that, I spent the rest of the day being a geeky mystery fan, attending one mystery play after another. It was great. I talked to so many nice people...but I must share with you the story of one lady who meant well, but...

I was sitting with Bob Levinson and his wife at one play and, during  the intermission, a woman came up to me and asked:

"Do you have something to do with this Festival?"

"Yes, I wrote one of the plays," I said. "And I am doing a few seminars about TV writing."

"Oh, you're that man who writes for Monk."

'Yes, that's me."

"I don't like the Monk show very much, and I haven't read your books and probably never will, but I think Tony Shalhoub is a good actor and you must be very talented. I wanted to tell you that."

I thanked her, shook her hand, and off she went. I know she didn't mean any offense.

Here's another example of how nice people in Owensboro are. During the performance of an Agatha Christie play, an old lady in the fifth row kept talking very loudly to the characters on stage...things like "You aren't fooling  me, honey," "he's the killer," and "I don't like him." Nobody told her to hush, they just smiled and let it go. In California, she would have been dragged out onto the street and beaten to death. Kentuckians must be very polite people.

Tonight, I saw fireflies for the first time in my life. I was very startled. At first I thought they were big embers and the building was on fire. Once I realized they weren't embers, I chased them around and stared at them in amazement. People seemed to find this behavior very amusing. Some even took pictures ("Look, Eunice, I got me a picture of a lunatic from California." No one actually said that, but I'm sure that's what they were thinking).

The screening of FAST TRACK went well, despite some technical glitches and me running back and forth in front of the screen, chasing fireflies around.

I am looking forward to spending the day tomorrow in Nashville before returning to the Festival on Saturday.

BBQ and Crime

After all those honors last night, my enormous ego got a bitch-slapping at the bookstore across the street from my hotel here in Owensboro, Kentucky. I dropped in after my power breakfast at Denny's to sign stock. I brought the ten or twelve copies of my books up to the front register, introduced myself as the author, and offered to sign them.

"You ain't doing nothing to those books until you buy'em," the woman said.

"You don't understand," I said. "I'm the author. I 'd like to sign them for you."

"Nobody is gonna buy a book that you've scribbled all over. They like'em new"

"I'm not going to scribble on it," I said. "I want to autograph it. People like that."

"Not here they don't," she said. "Your name is already on the cover of the book, you don't need to write it on there, too."

I was still trying to convince her that what I wanted to do added value  to the books when a couple walked up and recognized me. They were at the festivities last night and their son has a part in Stuart Kaminsky's play. They asked the woman if she knew who I was.

"Yeah, some guy who wants to write in the books without buying them," she said, shaking her head like I was some crazy person who reeked of his own urine.

The couple bought all the books I was holding and had me autograph them for various members of their family, so it all worked out. I got to sign the books...but only after the couple agreed to buy them first.

I told author Bob Levinson the story (he's here, too) and he said he was going to stop in the store and ask the lady if they had any signed books by Lee Goldberg "because they are worth a fortune." (That's a picture  of Bob, me and Stuart Kaminsky. I have never seen a picture of Bob where he isn't standing to one side with his right hand in his pocket).

After that, I had a book-signing at the RiverPark Center. I only signed half a dozen books but I really enjoyed talking to the folks who stopped by. They were so nice, and a real pleasure to meet, that it was time well spent. I then grabbed a quick lunch at a nearby cafe that served BBQ Pork on Corn Pancakes. It was every bit as disgusting as it sounds.

I returned to the center to do an interview with the local newspaper and to teach a class on TV writing to two dozen people of all ages. I snuck out again for an early dinner at the Old Hickory BBQ, which was pretty darn tasty, but no comparison to the Moonlite BBQ, where I ravaged the buffet last night. Before heading back, I stopped by a used book store that sold books for half the cover price -- I found two westerns, one was originally priced at $2 the other at 35 cents. The guy charged me $4.00. I said that seemed a little steep.

"We charge half the cover price," he said.

"So that should be $1.17," I said, pointing out the cover prices.

He glared at me, rung up the books again, and I gave him $1.25. I told him he could keep the change. I can be a pretty generous guy when I want to be.

I got back to the RiverPark Center just in time to see an early evening performance of my play, MAPES FOR HIRE by the legendary Firesign Theatre. It was quite a thrill for me. It's the first thing I've ever written that's been performed on a stage in front of an audience. I enjoyed it quite a bit (that's a picture of me with the cast and director David Ossman, who is in the front row on the left). It was a full house, so that was great, too. The play was performed as a "live radio" production with sound effects, music, etc.  I wanted to close my eyes and "listen" to it, but I was afraid the cast would see me and think I was sleeping through my own show. I'm going to see it again on Sunday and close my eyes for a bit this time.

There are plans afoot to distribute the play to radio stations nationwide. If that happens, I'll let you know where and when you can hear it.

Tomorrow I have a live morning radio interview to do at 7 am -- 5 am L.A. time -- and then it's back to the RiverPark Center to do another signing, attend some of the other plays, and then host a free, outdoor screening of my movie FAST TRACK: NO LIMITS on the riverfront patio under the stars, followed by a Q&A reception in the theatre. I am really looking forward to seeing how an audience reacts to the movie. (That's the out door screening space in daylight. The photo doesn't do the setting justice...at night it's wonderful, especially when it's full of people, sitting and standing).

I am having such a good time here. I just wish my family -- currently jetting to France for a three week visit  with the in-laws-- was here to enjoy it with me.

Elvis, BBQ and The Gavel

The limo picked me up at 4:30 am this morning and whisked me off to LAX for a 6 am flight to Memphis. I was only in the Memphis terminal for 30 seconds before I saw my first obese Elvis impersonator. I saw two more before I found a stool at Interstate BBQ for a quick lunch. The ribs weren't bad. They certainly beat your usual airport slop. I then flew into Evansville and drove down to Owensboro, Kentucky, where I dropped off my stuff at the hotel and hurried over to the RiverPark Center to check things out at the International Mystery Writers Festival. It's a good thing that I did, because nobody had told me that I was supposed to be the guest of honor twenty minutes later at a special ceremony on stage preceding the world premiere of Stuart Kaminsky's new Sherlock Holmes play. It's a good thing I was already wearing a wrinkled, untucked shirt and faded jeans or I might have felt uncomfortable at such a formal event.

City Commissioner Cathy Armour, on behalf of herself and Thomas Watson, the Mayor of Owensboro, presented me with the Key to the City and an engraved gavel making me an Honorary Daviess County Judge Executive. Then Assistant Secretary of State J. Allen Eskridge III, on behalf of Governor Steven Beshear's office and the Secretary of State, presented me with a scroll officially commissioning me as a Kentucky Colonel. I'm not sure what that means, but I think I'm entitled to a discount at KFCs worldwide (the pictures at the ceremony didn't turn out, so I posed with the officials out in the lobby for another one).  I was very flattered anyway.

I immediately rushed off to see if the key to the city would get me a free meal at the Moonlite BBQ Inn. It didn't, but I still gorged myself on their amazing $12.95 BBQ buffet, which included Sliced Mutton, Chopped Mutton, Sliced Pork, Chopped Pork, Pork Spare Ribs, Chopped BBQ Beef, Sliced Ham, breaded shrimp, macaroni & cheese, and a ton of other stuff. The dessert buffet line-up included Buttermilk Pie, Apple Pie, Rhubarb Pie, Chocolate Cream Pie, Coconut Cream Pie, Cheese Cake, Pecan Pie, Chocolate Pecan Pie, Brownies, Strawberries and Cream, and more. All of it was fantastic. It's a good thing I don't live here...or I'd surely become a fat Elvis impersonator. I even managed to escape without a single stain on my white shirt.

After my feast, I hurried back to the RiverPark Center for an out-door "Writer's Reel" screening of clips from my work, which were projected on a big screen against the backdrop of the river and a huge bridge, and included a Q&A. It was great. I spent another hour-and-a-half afterwards signing books, having my picture  taken with attendees, and talking to 40 high school and college students from across the state who are participating in the Young Adult Theatre Academy here.

I also met the producers and cast of MAPES FOR HIRE, the play based on my book THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE, and learned there is already talk of the play being performed later this summer on the west coast.

All in all, I had a blast...though I am absolutely exhausted now. Tomorrow I am teaching a TV writing seminar, doing some radio interviews, and seeing a performance of MAPES.

TV Main Title of the Week - Far Out Special Edition

Off to the Land of BBQ

As you read this, I'm on my way to Owensboro, Kentucky today to see "Mapes For Hire," the stage play version of my  Shamus-nominated PI novel THE MAN WITH THE IRON ON BADGE, which is being performed this week at the International Mystery Writers Festival. I'll also be talking about writing TV mysteries in a seminar with CSI creator Anthony Zuiker, participating in some panels, and doing a number of book-signings with folks like Stuart Kaminsky, Mary Higgins Clark, and Gene Hackman. But what I am really, really looking forward to is eating lots of BBQ.

I'll report back when I can.

TV Main Title of the Week - Tom Jones Edition

Conquering Horse

Yesterday I treated myself to Frederick Manfred's CONQUERING HORSE, a wonderful novel told entirely from the point-of-view of a young Sioux experiencing various rights-of-passage before leading his tribe of Yanktons. The book is beautifully written and remarkably detailed -- either Manfred did an extraordinary amount of research or he had a particularly vivid imagination. I suspect that it's equal parts of both.

Manfred, who also wrote as Feike Feikema, is probably best known among western readers for LORD GRIZZLY and RIDERS OF JUDGEMENT, and writers like Larry McMurtry (who adapted RIDERS for a mini-series some years back) consider him influential in their work. Over the years, I've collected signed copies of all of Manfred's books -- most of them first editions -- and even have some signed & annotated volumes from his personal library (like the complete works of Edgar Alan Poe). Manfred died in 1994, so I ration myself to one or two of his books each year. (I know that's silly, but I do the same thing with John D. MacDonald and some other writers). It's a shame that most of his books have fallen out-of-print.

Forgotten Favorites

A lot of crime writing bloggers lately have been talking about some of their favorite forgotten, out-of-print, or overlooked mystery novels and thrillers. Here are a few of mine, off the top of my head...

THE EIGER SANCTION by Trevanian
SHIBUMI by Trevanian
UNDER COVER OF DAYLIGHT James W. Hall
FLETCH by Gregory MacDonald
THE DA DA CAPER by Ross H. Spencer
DARK RIDE by Kent Harrington
THE ROPE DANCER by Victor Marchetti
THE ONES YOU DO by Daniel Woodrell
UNDER THE BRIGHT LIGHTS by Daniel Woodrell
HE DIED WITH HIS EYES OPEN by Derek Raymond
The WYATT novels by Garry Disher
TEARS OF AUTUMN by Charles McGarry
STILL AMONG THE LIVING by Zachary Klein
THE INNOCENTS by Richard Barre
The CARNEY WILDE books by Bart Spicer
The SAINT novels by Leslie Charteris
The SHELL SCOTT novels by Richard S. Prather
The early MATT HELM books by Donald Hamilton
TIDEWATER BLOOD by William Hoffman
BUTCHER'S BOY by Thomas Perry
THE FIRST DEADLY SIN by Lawrence Sanders
THE NEW CENTURIONS by Joseph Wambaugh
IN LA LA LAND WE TRUST by Robert Campbell (as well as his other Whistler novels)
THE RED CORVETTE by Robert Sims Reid
THE OWL by Bob Forward
THE DETECTIVE by Roderick Thorp
A WHITE MERC WITH FINS by James Hawes

I am sure that I've left out dozens and dozens of other books... and I've intentionally excluded Harry Whittington and Charles Willeford. If I went through the boxes of paperbacks in my garage, I'm sure I could add a lot of other titles/names to this list.

My Uncle Does a Very Good Thing

The Puget Sound Business Journal reports that my Uncle and Aunt, Stan & Alta Barer, have just made a generous donation to the University of Washington to establish The Barer Institute for Law & Global Human Services:

University of Washington Regent Stanley Barer and his wife, Alta, have pledged $4 million to the UW's School of Law to establish an institute to improve human services around the world.

The Barer Institute for Law and Global Human Services aims to use binding legal agreements, such as compacts, treaties and foreign aid agreements, to coordinate efforts to address social problems.

Lives saved will be the institute's measure of success, said Stanley Barer, an owner of Seattle's Saltchuk Resources Inc., a marine transportation company. The institute will focus primarily on poor areas that lack education, health services and economic opportunities, he said.

"I think it is now in our best interests to think about safety nets globally," said Barer, who is also the chair of the UW's Board of Regents.

I think my Mom and my Uncle Burl may try to convince my Uncle Stan that a contribution to them would also enhance global safety. As for me, Saltchuk just snapped up the cargo operation of the now-defunct Aloha Airlines, so I think I'm going to ask Uncle Stan if we can send ourselves to Hawaii as freight this summer.

Joking aside, I think my late grandfather David Barer, who immigrated to this country as a child from a village in Russia and sold scrap metal in Walla Walla, would be so proud that his son was able to do this...I know I am.

The Church isn't Above the Law

The Los Angeles Times reports today that the LAPD has arrested a school official who covered up reports that a teacher was sexually molesting students.

The dean of students at a South Los Angeles school was arrested Thursday for allegedly concealing evidence that one of his colleagues, former Assistant Principal Steve Thomas Rooney, had a sexual relationship with a student.

Alan Hubbard, 49, was charged with two felony counts of being an accessory after the fact to a crime and dissuading a witness, according to the Los Angeles County district attorney's office. After surrendering to Los Angeles police, he was being held in lieu of $120,000 bail late Thursday and was scheduled to be arraigned today.

What infuriates me is that the police don't arrest Church officials who cover up sexual abuse by priests. The law applies to Church officials as much as it does to educators. What the Church did by protecting child molesters is every bit as reprehensible...and illegal.

Loving REBUS

I've been enjoying a REBUS marathon over the last few days -- not the Ian Rankin books, but the terrific TV movie adaptations starring Ken Stott as D.I. John Rebus, taking the role from the woefully miss-cast John Hannah. They are simply terrific...and in some cases, even better than the novels they are based on (in that respect they are akin to the JESSE STONE movies based on the Robert B. Parker novels). Stott is pitch-perfect as Rebus, and the writing is tight, sharp, and  true to the spirit, if not every plot move, of the books. Some of the movies, in fact, could serve as a lesson in adaptation for aspiring screenwriters -- the writers get to the heart of what makes each novel work, cutting away the fat, focusing the plot, and amping up the character conflicts. REBUS is the best new traditional British detective series since the late, great INSPECTOR MORSE (though I've got a couple seasons worth of LEWIS, the sequel series with Morse's sidekick, to watch so I may have to revise that opinion). I've got two more movies to watch and then it's over...apparently for good, since Stott doesn't want to do any more of them and, without him, neither does the network. I hope they can lure him back to do an adaption of "Exit Music," the final Rebus novel.

International TV Drama Summit

The MediaXchange, the folks responsible for all of my European TV adventures, is hosting a "TV Drama Summit" June 25-27 in Los Angeles with some of the biggest names in the industry. They will be offering an invaluable, global over-view of where scripted drama is at today...and where it needs to go creatively and financially in the future.

Fox TV Studios, CBS, the Hollywood Reporter, and NATPE are just a few of the major sponsors of the event, which includes speakers like CBS Paramount Network Television president David Stapf, USA Network topper Jeff Wachtel, Scott Free productions president David Zucker, CLOSER showrunner James Duff, HEROES showrunner Tim Kring, Tandem Communications topper Rola Bauer, and my buddy Daniel Hetzer, VP of programming and co-productions at Fox TV Studios, to name just a few.

If you want to compete in the ever-changing, scripted drama industry, here or abroad, you'll want to go to this summit. I'll be there. For more information, visit the MediaXchange site.

Read the Movie

Duane Swierczynski's SEVERANCE PACKAGE reads like a novelization of a screenplay based on a video game. A group of people are called into the office on a Saturday...and then told by their boss that the company they work for is shutting down, that they are locked in the building (which is boobytrapped with sarin gas, bombs, etc), and that they are all going to be executed...unless they choose to drink a poison cocktail instead.

It's a high concept idea that ultimately has no substance beyond that. It never really pays off in terms of character or plot...instead, what we get is one violent fight sequence after another which would play much better on screen than it does on the page. On paper, it's monotonous rather than thrilling. All the fights tend to blend into one another after a while, even though Duane keeps dialing up the gore in an effort to keep our attention. Overall, the book reads like a martial arts/espionage twist on the familiar FRIDAY THE 13th/HALLOWEEN slasher movie formula...with a bunch of victims up against an unstoppable, almost superhuman, killer.

It's obvious that that Duane is a wonderfully imaginative, highly skilled writer...but, in my opinion, he's skating on flash here...he's taking the easy way and not using his considerable talent to its full potential. He could be writing great books...noir classics...but instead he's going for gimmicks, in-jokes, and fights. It's as if in every scene he's trying to impress his friends ("hey, look at this guys, it's gonna be cool!") instead of trying to create interesting, believable characters and tell a compelling story. It's a shame that he's devoting his efforts to superficial splatter-fests when he's clearly capable of writing something with real substance and staying power.

SEVERANCE PACKAGE would have worked much better as a comicbook...which it, essentially, is (the cover and the artwork that's interspersed throughout the book make that comparison inevitable) or a screenplay, which it probably will become (if it hasn't already). And yet, as hip and edgy as the book wants to be, there's actually a really dated feel to it all...like you're reading the novelization of the fifth sequel to BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER. Haven't we seen the super sexy, invincible, gun-toting martial arts babe a thousand times now?

As I said when he wrote the far superior THE WHEELMAN...he's got a great book in him, but this isn't it. SEVERANCE PACKAGE reflects all the weaknesses of THE WHEELMAN and few of its many strengths.

Better Late Than Never

A reader alerted me to this review of my book .357 VIGILANTE from Johnny La Rue's Crane Shot blog:

"It's straightforward and clean without subtext, symbolism or suspense. Some of the dialogue could easily come out of David Hasselhoff's mouth, it's puerile enough. The book's also a bit long at 214 pages. But it's a good, brisk read with plenty of action and pop culture references to make it a slicked-up, dumbed-down PG-13 version of the Executioner"

I'm always amazed when people discover the .357 VIGILANTE books, since they were obscure even when they were published nearly 25 years ago...

TV Main Title of the Weekly - Saintly Edition