A Writer's Life

The Big Pitch

Screenwriter Craig Mazin has some excellent advice on pitching. Here's an example:

First, understand what it is that you’re pitching.  You’re not pitching a script.  You’re not pitching a story.

You’re pitching a movie. Don’t give me that blank look. You’ve already done it. Ever see a movie and then have someone ask you to describe it? That’s movie pitching.

What you want to do is achieve the same effect with the producer or exec.  You want them to believe that you have already seen a great movie, and you’re just telling them about it.

Craig's pointers also work for pitching a series. But there's one thing he doesn't bring up. Be flexible. Be prepared to get, and consider, the input of the person you're pitching to.  Today we pitched a series to a major production company. The exec we were pitching on got hooked on one aspect of the pitch and said, basically, how would you feel if you just went with that one aspect and tossed the rest? And, what if we added this extra element?

And you know what? It was a damn good idea. We jumped on it. And so did the exec, who is now as invested in the idea as we are and taking it to his superiors with enthusiasm. Will it go anywhere? Who knows. But it would definitely have gone nowhere with that company if we hadn't been willing to consider other possibilities.

Lee Child Writing Bond?

Scotsman.com is reporting that the Ian Fleming estate is looking for a major-league author to pen a new James Bond novel... and that author Lee Child is among the contenders.

Plans for a one-off, new James Bond novel, to celebrate the centenary of its creator, are being finalised by the estate of Ian Fleming.

As yet no author has been chosen for the project, but following the surprising worldwide success of Charlie Higson's young Bond novels, Ian Fleming Publications say they are keen to commission a big, established name.

Early favourites to be approached include British thriller writer Lee Child, spy novelist John le Carré and The Day of the Jackal author Frederick Forsyth.

The Scotsman asked Ian Rankin how he would approach a Bond novel.

"I think if I was writing it I would give it a little twist. That is what they did in the movies when Pierce Brosnan came along, they made M a woman for example...but it really needs a good spy writer who is interested in technology because people who are interested in the Bond books tend to be technophiles - which sort of counts me out as I can hardly work a word processor."

UPDATE (Sept 2) Lee Child responds on Galleycat to his name being in contention for the Bond gig.

I heard the first rumblings of this stuff about three years ago. I am obviously very flattered to be in their thoughts, but I guess fundamentally my answer would be generated by what the estate itself calls the need for a "professional" writer ... which means, what are they gonna pay? More than I make from a Reacher book? (I'm not the type of guy who can do two projects at the same time.) That's possibly unlikely.

If it worked out though, it would be fun. Fleming was both very British and very frustrated by Britain - lived as an exile, etc. That shows up in the original Bond texts and it would be a background theme I would share. As would be a sense that as time moves on Bond is operating in a changed Britain ... the contrast between the Eden/Macmillan years and the Blair years is huge, and it's a contrast that the existence of the fictional Bond helped create. My yardstick would be Jill Paton Walsh's first Wimsey book (Thrones and Dominions?) which was both a superb Wimsey novel and simultaneously an embedded critique of the series itself and the society that spawned it.

 

Sitting out Bouchercon

Everyone in the mystery community is heading off to Boucheron, which begins tomorrow  in Chicago. Well, almost everyone. I'm staying home.  Author Bill Crider, a veteran of 20 Bouchercons, has seen the convention change, and in some ways not for the better.

As the attendance has increased, the focus has changed. The convention used to be all about the fans. Now it seems to be all about the writers, with people going just to get a glimpse of their current favorites, and a lot of the writers seem to be there just to hawk their latest book. A line I've heard more than once: "I don't have a book out this fall, so I won't be going.") I'm not sure this is change for the better.

I do have books out this fall,  but I'm still not going. I just couldn't see schlepping to Chicago on Labor Day weekend. And it was inconvenient for me. My wife and daughter just got back from three weeks away Friday. And today was my daughter's first day back-to-school.

If it wasn't for the bad timing, I'd be there.

I go to Bouchercon as a mystery fan first and a mystery author second. I love buying books. I love meeting the authors I admire. I love meeting people who've read my books and have enjoyed them. I love discovering new authors and new books to read. I love getting all those free books in my book bag. But most of all, I love the comraderie of fellow writers, talking shop and learning from shared experiences.

From a business stand-point, Bouchercon is a great opportunity to network and meet up with your agent and editors. You can also learn stuff from the panels but, to be honest, I only attend a small fraction of them because I've heard most of the authors, and their stories, a thousand times before.

But the one thing I don't go to Bouchercon to do is sell books. 

Many authors who are ordinarily calm, easy-going people become obnoxious hucksters at Boucheron, relentlessly pushing their books to any warm body that goes by and littering the place with fliers and bookmarks and t-shirts and whistles and other promotional crap.  I think it's actually counter-productive, that you will sell more books by not trying to sell books and just being yourself.

It's not Bouchercon that I'll miss this year, it's the authors and readers I won't get a chance to see. And the books I won't buy.

Maybe next year.

Katrina

I have spent hours today in front of the television, watching the footage of the damage left in Hurricane Katrina's wake. The magnitude of the disaster is almost too much to comprehend...an entire American city devastated and soon to be completely abandoned.  It's astonishing. I have a few friends in New Orleans...and luckily, they got out before the storm hit, but their homes and  possessions are probably gone, submerged under twenty feet of water.   Being a writer, you can't help but think of all the amazing stories coming from this disaster --  heart-breaking and horrifying,  heartwarming and life-affirming  -- many of them playing out right in front of us on the TV screen.

In a sad way, it's also one of those great, unifying moments for our nation. When something like this happens, we aren't New Yorkers or Californians, Democrats or Republicans... we are all Americans.  The tragedy draws us closer together as a nation. Yes, it happened to the Gulf Coast but we all feel the horror and the sadness. We all know someone who is personally affected by this. My heart goes out to all the victims and their loved ones. I can't imagine what it must feel like.

And that's the other thing this tragedy brings home. It could happen here. No, it will happen here.

I live in Los Angeles, where a cataclysmic earthquake isn't a possibility, it's a certainty...one we all choose to ignore (or to pretend won't happen in our lifetime). Likewise, everybody knew that New Orleans was built in a bowl below sea level, that massive flooding was inevitable, that everyone living there was on borrowed time.  What happened in the Gulf Coast this week is a horrifying reminder of what we here will face some day.

Can You Get My Portrait Signed?

I got this email today:

My wife and I have been huge Dick Van Dyke fans since the early 1960's.  Would you please consider forwarding this email to Mr. Van Dyke, since it concerns a portrait of him that I recently completed.  I'm hoping to persuade him to sign one of my prints for my private art collection of celebrity portraits...

... I realize that this is a brazen request, but I hope that you will consider it anyway.  If you would like, I'll send you a digital photo so that you can determine if my Dick Van Dyke drawing is worthy of a signature.

Please don't.

WGA Still Doesn't Get It

Variety reports that The Writers Guild of America's board voted 11-3 to rescind their decision to honor ex-WGA president Victoria Riskin with the Valentine Davies Award for her contributions to the industry and the community at large.

The big question is why they voted in favor of it 7-6 before, considering that Riskin resigned in a scandal that revealed she wasn't an active member and, therefore, was  never qualified to be President in the first place (Her successor Charles Holland was forced to resign two months later when the LA Times revealed he'd, um, fictionalized his military service record and his college football achievements).

Despite the vote, there are still members of the WGA leadership... including secretary-treasurer and current presidential candidate Patric Verrone...who don't get why it was a really, really stupid idea to honor Riskin so soon after she'd embarrassed the Guild with her actions.

Allan Burns [Chairman of the Awards Panel] told Daily Variety he was "stunned" at the board's vote. He insisted the awards panel tapped Riskin strictly because of her qualifications and asserted that there was no concern that naming Riskin would create any subsequent controversy.

"It's a slap in the face to the awards committee," Burns added. "I don't think the board understands what the award is about."

How clueless can Burns be? He didn't realize the choice would create controversy? How couldn't he?? Apparently, even Dan Petrie, our current president and a man I greatly respect, doesnt' get it either.  He told Variety:

"I would hope that these judgments would be tempered by compassion for someone who has already suffered and, for that matter, for a Guild that has already suffered."

She brought the suffering on herself by running for office when she knew she wasn't qualified to serve. And The Guild brought the suffering on itself by not doing their job confirming her work status before she ran and, now, by naming her for this award so soon after the scandal. I won't even go into the miss-steps surrounding Holland and their vote of confidence in someone who was so clearly being dishonest. I haven't been very proud of my Guild membership lately.

But some good has come out of this latest embarrassing episode:  It's going to help me, and a lot of other members, make up our minds about who to vote for in the upcoming election.

Killshot Shot

Variety reports that production has begun in Toronto on KILLSHOT, the Weinstein Co. adaptation of the Elmore Leonard novel. Diane Lane, Thomas Jane and Mickey Rourke star in the movie, which was written by Hossein Amini and is being directed by John Madden. 

For the most part, adaptations of Elmore Leonard's contemporary novels over the last twenty years have sucked unless they are written are written by Scott Frank or Quentin Tarantino. Remember BE COOL? Or BG BOUNCE? Or CAT CHASER? Let's hope this one breaks the curse.

Intercutting

I got this email today:

I’m having trouble presenting a multiple location event in my screenplay. Let’s say, for example, there are 5 peace rallies in 5 US cities all going on at the same time. At each event there is some action and dialogue. We stay only briefly at each location. How the heck is that written? Every way I try to present it seems awkward. Thanks for your time.

Here's how I replied. I think one reason it's awkward is that the situation isn't very conducive to good story telling. It's hard to create conflict, or reveal much character, or tell a story, while cutting back and forth between five very similar events. My first bit of advice would be to restructure your story so you DON'T have to cut between five nearly identical events. But, barring that, you need to make it as simple as you can.

EXT. LOS ANGELES PEACE RALLY - DAY

Griffith Park is crowded with THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE (don't you just love CGI? How did people make movies before?) It's pouring rain. Biff and Joan make love in the mud while everyone around them sings Koombaya. Joan has great breasts. INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. CHICAGO PEACE RALLY - NIGHT

Convention Center. There are TENS OF THOUSANDS of peace-loving people here. But we don't care about them. We FIND Jake creeping under the stage, carrying the BOMB that's hidden inside the INFLATABLE WOMAN. She has great breasts, too. INTERCUT WITH:

INT. SEATTLE PEACE RALLY - DAY

Hundreds of people mill around the base of the SPACE NEEDLE, holding hands and chanting. We PAN UP to the observation tower of the Space Needle, where HOYT, 12, is about to pour a cup of STARBUCK COFFEE on the people below, some of whom have great breasts and some of whom don't. INTERCUT WITH:

and when you're done visiting your five locations (I am exhausted just thinking about it), you end the sequence with a simple END INTERCUT.

Good News for Mystery Writers in LATBR

I heard David Ulin, the new editor of the LA Times Book Review,  interviewed on KCRW. He promises that, in his revamped LATBR, there will be greater attention paid to contemporary novels, including mysteries and thrillers. He said he loves hardboiled  mystery novels, which he called an "indigenous L.A. art form" and "the literary equivalent of the blues." It all sounds very encouraging to me.

Million Dollar Baby Bond

Oscar nominated screenwriter Paul Haggis ("Million Dollar Baby") has been hired to rewrite the Neal Purvis & Robert Wade ("Die Another Day," "World is Not Enough")  screenplay for the Bond movie CASINO ROYALE. The search is still on for the new Bond, though I hear it's between Steve Carrell and Will Smith.

The Decline of the Western Writers of America

For some time now, legendary western writer Richard S. Wheeler has been charting the demise of the western and, sadly, the preventable decline of the Western Writers of American (which should stand as a cautionary tale of what could happen to the Mystery Writers of America if we aren't careful). On Ed Gorman's blog, he notes that prominent agent Nat Sobel has resigned from the WMA as both its agent and as a member.

... it is not hard to fathom why a successful New York agent would abandon the western writers. For decades, WWA conventions were marketplaces in which New York publishers, editors and agents gathered with solidly professional authors to do business. That is how I got launched, and how many other western novelists got going.

At the last convention, only one editor showed up, and he came because one of his authors had won a Spur Award. When I first joined WWA in the early eighties, there would be ten to twenty editors and publishers on hand, all of them ready to do business, plus various agents, and often a few publishing executives as well. Part of the reason they have vanished is that western lines have shut down due to shifts of fashion. But there is more: A few years ago WWA amateurized itself, at first covertly in defiance of its own membership bylaws and then as a result of a bylaws amendment that permitted self-published authors to join. That brought a flood of new members, so WWA is fat financially, but it also meant that it was no longer a guild with clout in the publishing world or that western literature was significant. Thus, Library Journal, diligent about listing literary awards in other fields, no longer bothered to list Spur Awards. What it also meant is the end of the western marketplace at WWA conventions. Where once editors came to conventions to look for talent and good stories, now they don't come at all. It is pointless for them to show up.

I am a strong believer in limiting MWA membership to published mystery authors -- and what's happened to the WMA is a good example of the reasons why. Allowing self-published writers to become members diminishes the professional stature and legitimacy of the organization, not just among its members, but to the industry as a whole. This is going to make me very unpopular, but I also I believe associate memberships should be limited to people in the industry ( booksellers, editors, critics, publishers, etc).

Best Wishes to Ed Gorman

Author, editor, and publisher Ed Gorman reports on his  must-read blog that he's about to undergo radiation treatment in his battle against cancer.

I noted a while back that I wouldn't be commenting on my health unless things changed. I'm about to go through three five day weeks of radiation therapy. I'll work in the morning and have my radiation session in the afternoon. I'm hoping to get 1,000 words a day done on my book so I don't fall out of its rhythm. But I won't have the energy for the blog. So I'm doing Blog's Greatest Hits, pieces by contributor's that I thought were particularly noteworthy. And if anybody wants to submit anything original, I'll be very grateful to run it. Thanks, everybody.

So please send Ed your best wishes and if you've got some thoughts on publishing or the mystery genre, send him a post for his blog, too.

He-Men and the Masters of the Universe

My friend Gregg Hurwitz and his family came over to our house yesterday afternoon for BBQ, swimming, and lazing around.  When it got dark, the kids went inside to play and the grown-ups stayed outside to talk. We were having a nice conversation when Gregg's wife very calmly pointed out that there was a tarantula crawling by Gregg's feet. I don't know who yelped louder or jumped higher out of his seat -- me or Gregg.

We've seen rabbits, scorpions, mice, squirrels, rattlesnakes, bobcats, deer, lizards, coyotes, and swarms of bees in our yard but never, ever, EVER a tarantula. The spider was huge and black and terrifying. And moved very fast.

Gregg and I, squeeling and whining like little girls, finally managed to trap the spider in a jar and dump him out on the hillside behind our house. But I found the whole thing very funny. Here are these two men -- guys who've written all kinds of books and TV shows about tough-guy action heroes --  who turned into complete blithering sissies at the sight of a gigantic, but harmless, spider.

Just goes to prove that those who can't do don't teach...they write about it.

Cliche City

On my flight to Seattle, I read a book by a bestselling author. The plotting was good but the dialogue was so unbearably cliche-ridden that I left the book behind on the plane. I couldn't bear to continue reading it.  Here's an example (the character names have been removed to protect the guilty):

"Your deal will be history if you don't make sure this goes off without a hitch. Blow this and you'll wish you were in a cell with XYZ and a blowtorch. When we get to DC, we are going to have a come-to-Jesus meeting. The next time you make the slightest wave you are going to find yourself up shit creek. Is that clear?"

I count, conservatively, four cliches in that paragragh alone (not counting the character himself was a cliche).  There were pages and pages like that. The book did make me wonder about one thing -- what's the magic sales figure you've got to hit before editors stop bothering to edit your work?

PublishAmerica Sued

PublishAmerica is in more trouble. This time, they are being sued for trademark infringement by Encyclopedia Britannica. Sarah Weinman, subbing over at Galleycat, reports that the lawsuit filing includes lots of references to articles about PA's questionable business practices.

Seems that PA has an imprint that they originally called PublishBritannica, which is supposed to be the UK arm of their Vast Empire. But alas, PA didn't seem to understand the whole concept of trademark infringement...

There are LOTS of things the dimwits at PA don't understand...

Quintin Jardine Thanks a Novelization...sort of

Scottish crime novelist Quintin Jardine says he owes his career to a bad TV novelization that he read... 

I didn't like anything about the book: the characters didn't work on the page as they had on screen; the plot seemed ropey; and the ending, when I got there, struck me as contrived.

When I was done, I chucked it across the terrace, remarking aloud, "I could do better myself." To this my wife replied, "Time you did, then." Coming from her, that was an instruction.

Big Mouth Billy Bass

Ever wonder how that "Big Mouth Billy Bass: The Singing Fish" works? Now the mystery is solved. Here's an interesting fact. It's also how David Hasselhoff works.

WGA Election Packet

The fat WGA election packet arrived in the mail yesterday. I haven't opened it yet. I'm dreading going through all the election material and reading all the statements. I haven't made up my mind yet how to vote. This one isn't easy. My friend Mark Evanier does a great job summing up the election over on his terrific blog.

If you're not a WGA member, you're missing out on the fun of seeing a batch of articulate, dedicated people who essentially agree on almost all the key issues waging a bloody battle against one another. Every one of them is in favor of strengthening the guild, increasing minimums, protecting and rebuilding the health insurance and pension funds, extending WGA jurisdiction to non-covered areas like animation and reality programming, etc. Still, in the guild, we never like to let the fact that we're all on the same side keep us from having a nice, divisive fight...

...To the extent there is a difference of issues between the teams, it's that the "New WGA" crew wants to drastically increase the amount of money the WGA spends on organizing efforts, getting non-guild TV shows and movies under the guild umbrella, along with new technologies. The "Common Sense" candidates endorse the goal but not the strategy, arguing that the "New WGA" guys are looking at a very expensive organizing model that might work for non-creative unions but won't work for writers.

Like Mark, I'm unlikely to vote for one of the slates but will pick individual candidates I agree with (he calls it the "Chinese Food" approach).

Scam of the Month

Here's a scam that only the most gullible aspiring author would fall for...

The print-on-demand vanity press Author House has launched a program with bookselling group Joseph-Beth Booksellers on  "publishing packages" that include "guaranteed bookshelf placement" of five copies in a single Josepth-Beth store and an in-store book signing event (which is rather inconvenient if you live on the West Coast, since the Joseph-Beth stores are in the East).

For the priviledge of having a mere five books in just one store, and providing/buying the copies that will be sold at the booksigning,  suckers have to spend an additional $200 on top of the $699 Author House usually charges to publish a book.

Wow. What a great opportunity... to throw away your money.

Whoever signs up for this  "publishing package" is a dim-wit who deserves to be taken for every last penny he has.

Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii

I just this minute finished the first draft of MR. MONK GOES TO HAWAII. It's about 70,000 words. I'm printing out the manuscript now so that tomorrow I can begin my pencil-edit and rewriting.  Coincidentally, today the galley proofs of MR. MONK GOES TO THE FIREHOUSE arrived on my doorstep for me to review. It seems fitting, somehow, that the timing worked out that way.

The Windy City Likes The Goldbergs

I don't know what it is about Chicago, but the Windy City sure is kind to us Goldbergs. First, the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times gave my book DIAGNOSIS MURDER: THE PAST TENSE great reviews. Now TimeOut Chicago is raving about my brother Tod Goldberg's short story collection SIMPLIFY:

[Tod] Goldberg's work is an eclectic collection of realist and surrealist storytelling, from a brother's difficult return from the first Gulf War to a kid who turns invisible after witnessing his father's infidelity. The overheated suburbs of southern California and the crazed, sun-scorched roads through the outlying deserts are the perfect settings for Goldberg's characters. In a story that exemplifies his skill for blending the unreal with the everyday, a dyslexic kid creates his own language as a way to deal with life's stresses. As he witnesses a brutal act of violence against a fellow student and his careerist father becomes more and more aloof after a move to L.A., the kid fills binders and binders with his personal alphabet, a secret distress code. It's a startling and shuddersome story, with the kind of atmospheric tension we've come to expect from the new wave of Japanese horror movies.

Now let's see if my sisters Linda Woods and Karen Dinino get a rave from Chicago when their book, VISUAL CHRONICLES, comes out in February.

Explaining Yourself

There's some good screenwriting advice over at The Blank Page:

Okay, this is more of a pet peeve of mine, but I see it in scripts all the time. It comes from writers who think they have made a clever pun or (even worse) double entendre, and then, not trusting that the reader is getting the joke, they have to explain it in the next line of action-description. For example, you might see this:

                                 WALTER
  Hey, Jim, can you pass me the corn?

                                     JIM
   Of course I'll lend you my ears.

Jim laughs at his little Shakespeare joke.

This reminded me of an experience we had years ago when Roger Corman hired us to write and produce a TV series version of LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. Roger sold the pitch to the then-fledgling USA Network. When we wrote the pilot script, the inept USA exec asked us to underline the jokes and italicize any clever  social commentary. This really pissed Roger off  (us, too, but he was the lion in the room). Roger told her that if we had to explain what the jokes were then it would kill the jokes. But the executive argued that she really wanted to be sure she caught the jokes and might miss them if they weren't clearly marked. After this horrible experience, Roger ran screaming from TV for the next decade...

Publishers Weekly Gives BADGE a Rave

I'm pleased to report that, on the heels of the starred review from Kirkus, THE MAN WITH THE IRON-ON BADGE got a rave today from Publisher's Weekly.

Approaching the level of Lawrence Block is no mean feat, but Goldberg (the Diagnosis Murder series) succeeds with this engaging PI novel, the first of a new series. Harvey Mapes, an overeducated security guard for a Southern California gated community, is pulled out of his rut when a wealthy resident hires him to tail his wife. Genre readers won't be surprised that this simple assignment turns more complicated, but those who like their mean streets settings to be coupled with a twisty solution will enjoy the surprise ending. While Mapes's rampant sexual appetite may not be for everyone's taste, readers who devoured Block's brilliant Chip Harrison mystery picaresques (which doubled as affectionate pastiches of Nero Wolfe) will find Mapes a worthy (if slightly more mature) successor to Harrison and clamor for more. Agent, Gina Maccoby. (Oct.)

Bookstore Humiliation

Dropping in at one of the big chain bookstores to sign stock is often a humbling and humiliating experience, even for bestselling authors like Tess Gerritsen.

"Whether you're just starting out, or you're already a NYT bestselling writer, any delusions of grandeur you may harbor will quickly be squashed by a few sobering bookstore visits..."

Her wonderful blog post today about her experiences signing stock in Honolulu is funny, horrifying and all-too-familiar.

Doing the Konrath III

Author Joe Konrath, the champion of stock signing, has inspired me to drop in on bookstores wherever I go and sign the stock of DIAGNOSIS MURDER novels. This weekend, I was up in Seattle. The tally:  Eight stores visited, 53 books signed.

Can I Sue?

I got this email the other day:

If you’ve got any time in your hectic sked to offer me advice I’d be grateful. As far as I know, you’re not a lawyer, but as a seasoned pro you may know! Anyone that writes anything knows that ideas float around the ether waiting to be written. Who hasn’t at least once, had that great , only to find out a week later  has just nailed a deal for the same premise. That’s just the way it goes.

However… six years ago I wrote my first screenplay. It’s called XYZ, and it’s about an ex-astronaut who owns a farm/ranch in Montana. He builds his own rocket in a grain silo to launch himself into space. Today I read that Billy Bob Thornton is to star in a movie called THE ASTRONAUT FARMER about… well you guessed it!There are no other plot points for me to see and compare yet.

I registered the screenplay electronically with ProtectRite in 1999. In the past few years I’ve entered the screenplay into a few competitions including Tribeca Films – for which I got a commendation, didn’t win of course.

So my question is this… let’s say this in-production screenplay bears a remarkable or even "uncanny" similarity to my finished work in structure and story. Do I have any recourse,  or is it just tough shit as I’m a still un-produced nobody without an agent?

Like you said, I'm not a lawyer. My guess is that you'd have to prove that the screenwriter and producers had access to your screenplay and read it. But I will say this, it's not the world's most original idea. There was even an Andy Griffith TV movie with roughly the same concept and that later spawned a short-lived TV series called SALVAGE ONE.

I think you sort of answered the question yourself in the first paragraph of your email... sometimes, people just get the same idea at the same time.

Many years ago, Bill and I thought we had a great idea for a spec script... a Russian cop who comes to the U.S. to find a bad guy and gets paired up with an LAPD detective. We called it RED HEAT. We were in the midst of writing it when we heard about...you guessed it... a movie going into production called RED HEAT starring Arnold as a Russian cop. This has happened to us many times during our career.

For a couple years now, Bill and I have been pitching a procedural series around town  about a special, multi-agency law enforcement team that goes after the most-wanted fugitives. This summer, TNT premiered WANTED, a series with the same basic notion. Do we think we were ripped off? No. There were probably a dozen guys out there pitching a variation of the same idea at the same time we were. That's the entertainment business.

 

Room 222

Bill Rabkin and I are teaching another four-week, online course of  "Beginning Television Writing" for Writers University. For more information on the session, which begins Sept. 5, click here. I don't know how the students feel about it, but we've been really enjoying the experience. This is our third or fourth time doing it and I've discovered that helping others learn how we do what we do has sharpened my own writing. In fact, I applied some advice we gave a student the other day (she was having trouble structuring her story)  to one of our own pitches and it made a big difference.

Harvey Weinstein has PANIC attack

Variety reports that The Weinstein Company has optioned author Jeff Abbott's thriller PANIC, which just hit the shelves today.

Book, published by Dutton, follows young docu filmmaker Evan Casher as he goes on the run from a dangerous spy ring after the murder of his mother. He learns that most aspects of his life have been total fabrications.

Abbott has written eight mystery and suspense novels, most recently 2003's "Cut and Run," the third volume in his Whit Mosley series.

Battle of the Network Stars

Variety reports that Paramount is launching a big-screen version of the cheesy 70s reality show "Battle of the Network Stars."
 

Etan Cohen is writing the script, and Jimmy Miller will produce through Mosaic. Barry Frank, who created the show in 1978, will be exec producer.

Pic will revolve around a disgraced network exec who must claw his way back to respectability by winning the contest. Concept was hatched by Cohen.

Original show bowed in the late '70s, with teams of series stars from ABC, NBC and CBS squaring off against one another in athletic events. Howard Cosell presided over the proceedings as soberly as if he were hosting the Olympics.

New Editor at LA Times Book Review

Publisher's Weekly reports that the LA Times has picked David L. Ulin to be the new editor of the Book Review.

Reached for comment, associate features editor Tim Rutten said the Times had conducted a "very long and very exhaustive" search with about 25 serious candidates. Rutten said the Times thought Ulin "had the right mix of credentials" as a freelance book critic whose work has appeared in the book review he will now edit along with NYTBR and The Atlantic Monthly. He was also books editor at the weekly LA Reader.

"He has the kind of stature to take the book review to the next level," said Rutten.

Let's hope Ulin boots Eugen Weber and finds someone more qualified (and more readable!)  to review mysteries and crime novels.

"Rebus" Returning to TV

Ken Stott is fast becoming the new John Thaw over in the UK.  He's replacing the hopelessly miscast John Hannah as Inspector Rebus in the next set of TV movies based on Ian Rankin's books. The movies are being written by Danny Boyle, who scripted some of the best Inspector Morse movies. Stott has  played cops before, most recently in the "Messiah" TV movies and as the leader of a sex crimes unit in five season of "The Vice."

He is, He says

Ever wonder what taking a novel-writing seminar is like? My brother Tod, the literary novelist, reveals all.

Sometimes I'll sing a song or two because, well, when you get to sit in front of the class it's kinda freeing to know that if you wanna belt out, say, Total Eclipse of the Heart or Can't Hardly Wait or even a little something from the Neil Diamond song book, you totally can. And then we'll get back to talking about your story, which may be really good, or really bad, or really mediocre and, at the very least, you'll know my thoughts and might be humming a song, too.

I Was Wondering the Same Thing...

William Triplett writes in Variety today:

Is there something in the right-wing water that's causing conservative commentators to cross the boundaries of taste and propriety?

Within the past six weeks, Robert Novak swore and stomped off the CNN set; Tucker Carlson smiled and praised a fatal police attack on Greenpeace protesters; and Rush Limbaugh trashed a grieving mother camped outside President Bush's vacation ranch as a phony. And on Monday, Christian televangelist Pat Robertson, on "The 700 Club," said the U.S. should assassinate the president of Venezuela, touching off a firestorm of criticism and objections.

When Pat Robertston starts talking like Tony Soprano, you have to wonder what has happened to the Christian Right...

Chick Lit Bit

NY Times book critic Marilyn Stasio isn't fond of "chick lit mysteries."

you can't miss its gaudy manifestations -- those slender volumes with cute titles like ''Dating Dead Men'' and ''Killer Heels'' and covers in such juicy colors you don't know whether to read the flap copy or lick the jacket.

Slim stories. Joke titles. Juicy jacket art. Does a pattern begin to emerge? For a category of mystery still relatively new to the market, the babe book has already settled into some fairly narrow grooves. Even if you ignore the generally deplorable level of the writing (which is surely an unintentional aspect of the formula), these novels scrupulously observe all the basic chick-lit conventions: the giddy girls in their glamorous jobs, the shopping sprees and fashion makeovers, the gossipy friends, the disastrous dates and the wry comic voice of a heroine so adorable she could be . . . you.

Book critic, blogger and industry observer Sarah Weinman thinks the mystery world will be buzzing over Stasio's take on the genre. I don't think so. The one thing these "chick lit" authors share in common is a strong sense of humor. I think they'll shrug it off.  How about you?

The All-Important Rewrite

Screenwriting class is in session over at Paul Guyot's blog, where today he is talking about the importance of rewriting. Lots of aspiring screenwriters don't give much thought... or effort...to rewriting. They focus all of their attention on having a killer opening. Mistake.

Nobody seems to want to learn to be a great writer anymore. They just want to learn how to get paid to do it.

But what few seem to grasp is that you seriously increase your chances of getting paid for it if you're really good at it. And one of the best ways to "get good" is to understand rewriting, and know that when you think you've done all you can, you can still do more.

Vital Knowledge

Before you write to Walter Scott of Parade Magazie to find out if someone is dead or not, use this handy checklist from my brother Tod.

a few ways to tell if the person you're inquiring about is dead:

1. You are really, really old and unable to access the internet.

2. The person you are interested in starred in a "talkie."

3. Sometimes, you wet yourself a little and just say, "Ah, to hell with it."

4. There are nights when you honestly believe that signing a petition to get Diagnosis Murder back on TV might actually help.

5. Lately, you've felt very guilty for admiring the bronzed flesh of Lindsay Lohan and wondering what it might be like to see her in a Lucille Ball bio-pic where you get to play little Ricky.

6. The last show you remember watching was The Big Valley and after that went off the air you decided that from now on, you were just going to write The Big Valley fan fiction.

Want to know more? Check out "Letters to Parade: On The Nature of Dying."

"I Hopi I'll Walk Again: A Native American Paraplegic Mystery"

Shortly after Joe Konrath signed his three book deal with a major NY publishing house, he got spammed by a self-publishing company (he won't say which one). He replied to their emails, just for the fun of it. He shares the email exchange on his website. It's hilarious stuff...and pretty revealing, too.

Hypocrisy 101

Fanficcers have no problem routinely infringing on the copyrights of books, movies and TV shows...but don't you dare copy their work.   

Someone emailed me this  excerpt from the fanfiction.net user agreement (the bold-facing and italicizing of the most blatantly hypocritical/outrageous statements are mine):

9. COPYRIGHTS and COPYRIGHT AGENTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, there are two methods of recourse depending on the nature of the infraction. If you have a copyright abuse complaint based on theft of your piece by other fan authors, please see Section Ten: Domestic Copyrights. Else, please provide FanFiction.Net with the following information:

(1) an electronic or physical signature of the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright interest;

(2) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed;

(3) a description of where the material that you claim is infringing is located on the site;

(4) your address, telephone number, and email address;

(5) a statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law;

(6) a statement by you, made under penalty of perjury, that the above information in your Notice is accurate and that you are the copyright owner or authorized to act on the copyright owner's behalf.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

10. DOMESTIC COPYRIGHTS

FanFiction.Net respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you feel that your writing was copied with out permission and in violation of your copyright by another writer on FanFiction.Net, please provide FanFiction.Net administrators with the following information via e-mail:

(1) Pen name and e-mail address.

(2) Contact information for the author you feel is violating your copyright. This information should include the author�s pen name, e-mail address, and author profile url.

(3) The url of the piece that you have the copyright for, the date that the story was posted, and the title of the piece.

(4) The url of the piece that you feel is in violation of your copyright, the date the alleged infringed piece was written and the title the alleged infringed piece.

(5) Supporting and collaborative evidence that demonstrates copyright infringement.

(6) A short message detailing the nature of the copyright infringement.

After this has been received, FanFiction.Net administrators will seek to determine if the piece in question is in violation of your copyright and then respond accordingly.

Unbelievable. 

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane...

On Monday, immediately following a pitch at NBC, I'm heading up to Seattle for a few days to visit my ailing grandmother, so postings on this blog may be a bit sparse next week.

POD People

The writing team that works under the bestselling nom-de-plume PJ Parrish is blogging today about self-publishing:

So why do I hate POD and SP so much? I hate the way they prey on dreamers. I hate that they overinflate expectations. But what I really hate is that they make it possible for people to think there are shortcuts, ways of circumventing the craft, hard work and legitimate editorial process of becoming a writer. Becoming...that's the key word here folks. Like way Tiger Woods became a great golfer. The way Renata Scotto became a great soprano. The way your Uncle Morty becamea doctor. Or the way your mom became a great cook.

Here is what set me off:

At a Mystery Writers of America meeting, a woman asked, "Should I go POD?" I drew in a long breath so I wouldn't start screaming and spewing spittle. Then I asked her: "Do you want to publish a book or do you want to have a career as a writer?" She looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Well, the latter, of course!" So I told her: "Then do your homework, learn the craft of writing, educate yourself about the market place and your genre, submit your manuscript, get rejected, rewrite, rewrite again, throw out a book and start over, do it all over again and again and again until you are a legitimately published writer."

Wash, rinse and repeat. She walked away. She didn't want to hear it.

They never do.  Because that would require talent, dedication and hard work, which is a lot more effort than just writing a check.